Go to Afzal 's view
- Add a comment
- Go to Random thoughts on "LIES"
Its almost impossible for me to lie and if I resort to lie I cant look the person in the face
posted by
Lanetay
on October 3, 2006 at 8:37 PM
| link to this | reply
terpgirl30, Your comment has clarified my post better . Thanks for stopping
by!
posted by
afzal50
on October 3, 2006 at 4:18 PM
| link to this | reply
I just talked about this briefly elsewhere.
I'm nutty honest. When I was a child, my father actually told me that my honesty was going to get me in trouble. Can you imagine a parent saying that to a child? He wasn't trying to be mean either. He meant it in a genuine way.
My kids were taught the journalism rule of "signicant omission" by the time they were in about 3rd grade. (Basically, significant omission is when you tell someone information, but you leave out a fact, knowing that piece of information would be critical for the person to choose one side over another. You swing the vote in your favor. Well, that's a lie to me. I'm a hard liner on this.
The lies that get to me most are those crazy lies that fall into the category of "who really cares!!!" These are the people who need to lie as much as they need to drink water. We all know a person like this. They lie when it is just as easy/convenient for them to tell the truth. I want to shake these people. Worse, they lie to you KNOWING that YOU know it's a lie. They don't back down. So I think there is something psychological driving this behavior...sociopathic. The wiring in the head is not connected right.
The other reason for lying is I don't think people want to take responsibility for their actions. My ex to be actualy said on a regular basis that he couldn't tell me the truth because "it would be a hassle." This is a grown man. This was for big lies and small lies. People don't want to be uncomfortable for one moment, so they lie to get out of situations.
I'd like to know how others deal with these people. Do you deal with it, or do you just get the person out of your life? The older I get, the more I just write these people off. Life's too short to be deciding if you need to watch your back from a supposed friend.
You mentioned the public factor. Well, I'm sure these people lie in their private lives as well. Still, they've sure been taught that they can succeed by lying, haven't they? And you know what, we keep telling them they're right by dealing with them. If we turned and walked away (metaphorically speaking), what would be the payoff for a liar?
Good, good question, Afzal.
posted by
terpgirl30
on October 3, 2006 at 4:02 PM
| link to this | reply
You are absolutely right and I agree with you. We may chat day and night
yet we will think that we have not spoken much and that is what you call soulmate. I miss you always and all the time. Thanks.
posted by
afzal50
on October 3, 2006 at 4:00 PM
| link to this | reply
afzal
Yes.
How could I have not, after our chat? It was so nice talking with you again. You'd think that we hadn't chatted for a year.
posted by
Afzal_Sunny7
on October 3, 2006 at 3:55 PM
| link to this | reply
Good evening dear, Hope you had a nice day. Thanks.
posted by
afzal50
on October 3, 2006 at 3:53 PM
| link to this | reply
Good Morning
posted by
Afzal_Sunny7
on October 3, 2006 at 3:27 PM
| link to this | reply
Tonyzonit, Thanks for such a nice analytical comment about lies .
posted by
afzal50
on October 3, 2006 at 3:20 PM
| link to this | reply
star4you, Morality is the key. Thanks.
posted by
afzal50
on October 3, 2006 at 3:17 PM
| link to this | reply
Afzal - when you think about it
lies are necessary. So we shouldn't feel guilty about those kind of lies - When people ask 'How are you?' we say, 'I'm well thanks'. We don't go into our aches and pains as they are making their tea in the office canteen. Why not? Because they don't care (close friends excepted, of course). the only time they would give a damn is if you told them you were having a heart bypass operation or a leg amputated. Then they would be interested! Then they would care! And all sorts of lies are designed to make out that we care more about the other person's feelings than our own. This makes society run smoother and is a mature type of behaviour. it's what teenagers often haven't learned about yet - but they will!
posted by
Antonionioni
on October 3, 2006 at 3:16 PM
| link to this | reply
Rumored Intelligence, you are absolutely right . I agree with you. Thanks.
posted by
afzal50
on October 3, 2006 at 3:16 PM
| link to this | reply
avant-garde, your comment is very philosophical. Thanks.
posted by
afzal50
on October 3, 2006 at 3:14 PM
| link to this | reply
Troosha, sometimes it is nice to be humorous. Thanks.
posted by
afzal50
on October 3, 2006 at 3:13 PM
| link to this | reply
lies are always lies and stay away
posted by
star4sky5
on October 3, 2006 at 2:14 PM
| link to this | reply
afzal, I think we all know lying isn't good, but maybe use it as an easy
way out??...one lie usually leads to another in a downward spiral, too, and thats never good...
posted by
Rumor
on October 3, 2006 at 1:52 PM
| link to this | reply
afzal
I think lying is an outward expression of denial, in every sense of the word. Shall I deny myself in order to be accepted? And, would the acceptance be true were I to lie in order to exact it? It is indeed a web of illusions.
posted by
avant-garde
on October 3, 2006 at 1:18 PM
| link to this | reply
Yes.. I’ve been known to tell a “white” lie (who came up with that expression anyway?). It is never for the purpose of boosting my own ego but rather to spare the feeling of another. They’re never on a grand scale – “nice haircut” might be one such lie.
posted by
Troosha
on October 3, 2006 at 10:55 AM
| link to this | reply
Plz go to the private room . Thanks.
posted by
afzal50
on October 3, 2006 at 8:28 AM
| link to this | reply
I'm back
posted by
Afzal_Sunny7
on October 3, 2006 at 8:26 AM
| link to this | reply
I like your honest and truthful statement . I shall be here to discuss
with you further on the issue . Thanks.
posted by
afzal50
on October 3, 2006 at 8:03 AM
| link to this | reply
Afzal
Everyone has lied, it's unavoidable. Some lie much more than others. It's a sad thing. You can never really know a person who tells a lot of lies, their true being is hidden behind lies. Maybe in such a case, you wouldn't even want to know them?
I have lied for family before, one time in particular, I really hated to do it, but had to.
I would tell any lie in this world to whomever, to keep you. Though I would hope that would not be necessary.
My mother wants on the computer..she says "for a couple minutes", so I will be back as soon as I can.
posted by
Afzal_Sunny7
on October 3, 2006 at 7:55 AM
| link to this | reply
Chilitree,That's so true . Thanks.
posted by
afzal50
on October 3, 2006 at 7:49 AM
| link to this | reply
Lying seems to be embedded in human nature ... I have lied too and I am not happy about it when it happens. However with some help from heaven I have seen courage well up in me to tell the truth more and more often.
posted by
Chilitree
on October 3, 2006 at 7:44 AM
| link to this | reply
Julia No body likes to tell lies unless they are compelled by cirumsantces.
Thank you.
posted by
afzal50
on October 3, 2006 at 7:32 AM
| link to this | reply
afzal--
lying bothers me very much. of course I have lied, but when I do, i feel such shame and uncomfortableness. I can't imagine what karma it must bring on my soul.
posted by
Julia.
on October 3, 2006 at 7:29 AM
| link to this | reply