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marieclaire66, Wha is your opinion about my blogs do they interest you.
I am asking this personal question because you do have a very sifting mind and you can judge things better.I need to have a certificate from you to enhance my confidence in the writing world. What are the foolish things you have done in your life , would mind if I ask ?Thanks.
posted by
afzal50
on August 12, 2006 at 6:47 AM
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yes I can be obnoxious and argumentative.
Kinder people may call me endearingly argumentative, depending how forgiving you might feel. I am totally bored and at the moment, I write all the over the place, I just love writing to pass the time and add my two cents of wisdom on the blog. If only people knew, some of my foolish moments in real life! Yes I have insight into people's psyche at times, and I have a deep interest in people and life in general, as much as I find life excruciatingly painful at the best of times, I also find everything in life fascinating and I suddenly forget the pain. I travel from blog to blog and catch a glimpse of other people's world, a little window opens up and I peek for a few minutes. I reflect on what I see. Excuse the repetitions, it is well past my bedtime, but the neighbours' party is keeping me awake anyway. It is 12.15 am here. I swore to myself I would go to bed early, well too bad.
posted by
marieclaire66
on August 12, 2006 at 5:22 AM
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Frankenkitty, thanks.
posted by
afzal50
on August 11, 2006 at 9:11 PM
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marieclaire66, I must apprecieate you brilliant grasp over matter and ,
issues pertaining to human nature. You are undoubtedly a great thinker of the east living in the west. Let me tell you that you make very good points when you feel like argueing over something . You are argumentative with a flair for truth , correct me , if I am wrong . I must thank you once again in taking deep interest in blogs and sparing so much of your valuable time to converse with me . I feel great when creative writers like you do find some materials in my blogs worth their worthy comments. Take care.
posted by
afzal50
on August 11, 2006 at 9:08 PM
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Afzal, good questions.
To me, each situation has it's own best consequence factors. I'm not saying I'm good at figuring out what the best consequence is, but I know they exist in the individual situations. Making better decisions has gotten easier over the years, so maybe time is the key to everything. Have a wonderful evening
posted by
Flumpystalls3000
on August 11, 2006 at 8:32 PM
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thanks
some people do not always appreciate my challenging comments, let us say I can be a pain in the ass sometimes, to put it bluntly, so be it. I try and be tactful but do not always succeed. Every one is different, each one of us have a different threshold for anger and irritation depending on our temperament and past experience, and you need to take that into account when dealing with an issue, it boils down to knowing someone well enough to handle them in a way that they would respond to positively. One thing is for sure, reacting negatively to a negative statement does not equal a positive but a multiplied negative, if you get the idea. Most people though have triggers points, and no matter how reasonable they intend to be, if provoked the rational resolves go out the window, and none of this theory applies. So everyone needs to know what their trigger points are, in order not to react and get into conflicts, I have read all the self help books under the sun, but it does not help me much other than give me an insight of where I went wrong
after the event, by which time it is too late of course. So it is a matter of defusing the trigger points whatever you choose to call it, how do you do that? Well I am still working on it, sometimes I have very short fuses, and I feel sorry for the other person on the receiving end of it. Old wounds reopen and they need healing. I won't expand on that personal stuff, but to a great extent it applies to the human race. Go to the root of the problem, start from the day you are born because this is the day things start to go wrong, and the brain starts filling with negative messages, if you are lucky to have had a loving upbringing then you are lucky, and life will go smoothly. If not then you have your work cut out, and life just hurts where it should not. So it boils down to knowing who you are in Christ, a valuable and loved human being. The trick is believing it, most of us though, do not or we would not be in the mess we are now. It is a life long journey and only God's wisdom can light up our half lit path. So hope this makes sense to you. I could go on and on but I have to attend a birthday party for now. the little 3 year old boy next door, and he needs his share of love and attention so he can grow up into a happy adult....
posted by
marieclaire66
on August 11, 2006 at 7:33 PM
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passionflower, thanks for stopping by!
posted by
afzal50
on August 11, 2006 at 6:00 PM
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marieclaire66,nice comment. It is not that I do not have my own thoughts
over the issues I try to bring forth to the mind of other bloggers but I just would like to know what others are thinking . I must say and admit that you have a very analytical mind and do not accept any view on the face of it but like to sift . Thanks.
posted by
afzal50
on August 11, 2006 at 5:59 PM
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Whacky, Thanks.
posted by
afzal50
on August 11, 2006 at 5:53 PM
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On questions...
I have to tell you first that I read your About Me page and got the part where you said there should be an 11th commandment. You said something like "Don't bother about people." Well, I read it quickly, and my mind did a rewrite. But my commandment would work okay, too. Mine came out as "Don't bother people."
For your recent questions:
Why do people like to hide real problem and quarrel over false issues ?
It has been my experience that most of the time people aren't always sure what the "real" problem is. They've learned to hide things so well that superficiality becomes the reality. It's certainly less *painful* to deal with the goofy, small stuff than it is to deal with real issues, isn't it?
Do we need to solve our problems straight away and take it head on ?
That depends on the problem. If it involves my dealings with another person, I'd prefer to deal with something as it comes up. Just as I was saying above, you push the "real" thing to the back long enough, and you lose the real "why" behind your problem. Then you get angry at trivial things when it was something you could have addressed one on one as it happened. Often you find those things are misunderstandings, too, which makes it worse to see it compound. So, if you know you will keep it in your memory bank--your personality is one that won't forget a transgression---better to take care of it as it happens. The stain the sets in is often there for life.
Do we need to be silent and let the issue resolve on its own ?
Sometimes people are just venting about those non issues, so to quell someone's expressed anger won't fix anything. You have to have a good bit of empathy/insight and know the person (the most important thing, I think) before you presume to know if you can resolve anything.
Is time the greatest healer ?
No. Boy, I was going to write more, but I'd be here all night, and I know I'd be crying by the end. So, no, at least not for me.
Or
A stitch in time saves time . ?
A stitch in time saves some thread but doesn't always save you money in the long run. :)
posted by
terpgirl30
on August 11, 2006 at 5:28 PM
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I try to be honest with myself and others.
There are a few things that time won't heal. Only God has the power to fix those.
posted by
Passionflower
on August 11, 2006 at 3:09 PM
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use discernment.
first thing is to define the issue rather than confuse it. People spill out in anger and brings many issues at once. Sometimes, there is an underlying issue triggered by seemingly trivial incidents and irritations. At least what counts the most, is to have the right attitude, but then the issue could be having the wrong attitude.... With little things, it is best to let things slide, life is too short, but the little things keepr reoccuring then deal with them before they become a bigger problem. Patience is a virtue, Love is kind, is not boastful, long suffering, well you know the rest. So there is no formula on this one, relationships are complex, difficult, interesting, they deserve a lot of time and energy and thought. I would like You to give your own opinion on this matter, your readers do all the hard work, all you do is ask a few questions, and you expect everyone to hand you over an answer on a platter, why don't you do some thinking too? I am sure you do, I am being facetious, your questions are thought provoking and interesting but I would be interested to know how you attempt to answer them yourself. Don't let others do your thinking for you, that is not good. Well, I don't mean to accuse you, I am sure have your own opinion, I would love to hear it. Voilà!
posted by
marieclaire66
on August 11, 2006 at 2:57 PM
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I'm not always sure.
posted by
Whacky
on August 11, 2006 at 2:13 PM
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Odysseus, That's too good.
posted by
afzal50
on August 11, 2006 at 9:27 AM
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Hmmmmmmmmm…methinks that sometimes
no decision and/or inaction can be a decision unto itself.
posted by
telemachus
on August 11, 2006 at 9:24 AM
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You're welcome luv!
posted by
Afzal_Sunny7
on August 11, 2006 at 9:18 AM
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Sweetie, thanks.
posted by
afzal50
on August 11, 2006 at 9:07 AM
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posted by
Afzal_Sunny7
on August 11, 2006 at 9:00 AM
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Mari-am, Thanks.
posted by
afzal50
on August 11, 2006 at 8:53 AM
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Sweetie, I think you are right .
posted by
afzal50
on August 11, 2006 at 8:53 AM
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bel 1965, Thanks for stopping by !
posted by
afzal50
on August 11, 2006 at 8:51 AM
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i do it only one way keep in silence . concentrate other works .
posted by
Rosetree
on August 11, 2006 at 8:37 AM
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Sweetie, I'm not exactly sure what you're asking here, so I'll do my best..
People hide the real issues because sometimes it's just to hard or painful to face them.
It depends on what the problem is, and if there is sufficient time for solving. Sometimes it isn't as easy as all that.
I think sometimes it's good to be silent, other times communication is the key. It all depends on the issue.
A lot can be healed with time, and even moreso with love
posted by
Afzal_Sunny7
on August 11, 2006 at 8:21 AM
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Questions for the ages
and no time does not heal all only dulls the ache from time to time.
posted by
bel_1965
on August 11, 2006 at 7:28 AM
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quarrel
It depends on the quarrel or the issue, how big it is and what it would take to forget and forgive, and who is involved
posted by
Lanetay
on August 11, 2006 at 7:12 AM
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