Go to Oh, Schatz.
- Add a comment
- Go to Okay, here's the drama I promised but it has to be quick while it's quiet!!
No kiddin'. One of my favorite things to say is
If nothing changes, nothing changes. And lord, ain't it the truth!! LOL
posted by
Schatz
on July 29, 2006 at 9:27 AM
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Schatz
Some people thrive in the world of denial...she really has to want the help before anything changes!!!
posted by
Offy
on July 28, 2006 at 8:29 AM
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I guess marriage isn't supposed to be like dating or being
Single, though it would certainly help with the divorce rate if it was....LOL!
posted by
Passionflower
on July 27, 2006 at 11:27 AM
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As much as it sucks to see a friend hurting, I feel so grateful for my
boring, happy marriage. LOL
posted by
Schatz
on July 27, 2006 at 9:00 AM
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Damn! What a messed up situation!
I'm so sorry for your part in this but have no real good advice.
posted by
Passionflower
on July 27, 2006 at 7:14 AM
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Whacky, your advice is good advice.
astral-she won't go to counseling for the simplest reason, the one that holds us all back-she's afraid of her real self. She's afraid they'll tell her she's a lesbian and she has to face it. This woman will probably live her whole life just like it is now. Ugh. And Lonely, not
that best friend it's my other one.
posted by
Schatz
on July 27, 2006 at 6:24 AM
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Thanks you all. I appreciate your concern and support. You rock.
Tanga-I think the problem is she can't accept it. It isn't what she wants people to see of her.
Jemmie-I know what you mean. It's been this way since we were kids. It's not that she is mean spirited, or doesn't care for me. She just is an alcoholic and she has so much chaos in herself that she doesn't have it in her to be thoughtful. If I ask her for a favor, she'll do it. It's if she answers the phone to give you a chance to ask....does that make any sense?
Sunny- DENIAL?? WHAT?? lol
mademoiselle-I know my margins went all screwy and I dunno why. And yes, most 'red blooded males' would find the thought of two women together erotic. Unless you thought your wife might leave you for said woman. Then it makes you feel small, sick and powerless. The whole situation is fucked.
posted by
Schatz
on July 27, 2006 at 6:21 AM
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Wow! When you promise drama you deliver!
Your best bet is to let it be. You have done as much as a friend could. Now anything you do might just backfire!
Good luck!
posted by
Whacky
on July 27, 2006 at 1:49 AM
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Same situation
My sister broke the news that she is lesbian to the family a few months ago. It is not easy to accept, but accept we must. The first step is for the person to accept themselves before others can accept her. Not easy.
posted by
Tanga
on July 27, 2006 at 12:06 AM
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Well all I can say is that there is only so much you can do when it is not yourself. I'm pretty sure I know who your talking about, remembering one of the parties we had while I was there. The only thing that throws me is that you said that the last time you had a party and she was there that she slept with your best friend.... is that... lets just call her B? Not that I would be offended or anything, but curiosity is really gettin to me now.
posted by
thelonelyroad
on July 26, 2006 at 8:47 PM
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Why is councelling not an option for her?
They are discreet, and can be free so that no one needs to know. I really think professional help is the best answer for her and you woul ddo well to keep encouraging her in that direction.
I also agree that you should be VERY careful for yourself. What you are dong for her is a lovely thing, but you can't let her suck you down with her. In the end she is responsible for her life, not you. You would do well to remember that.
Good luck to you both.
posted by
astraldreamer
on July 26, 2006 at 7:47 PM
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In MY humble opinion . . .
A is not a friend at all--not to you...though you are a great friend to her. I'd watch out if I were you. She sounds like she just uses the people in her life without really caring about how her actions make them feel. Even if she says she is afraid of what someone might do, she's really only afraid of someone whom she feels she can manipulate leaving her life and thus making her unable to use them anymore.
Be careful.
Of course, I could be wrong here. But your last statement about not being able to count on her to loan you an egg really made what I was thinking throughout the rest of your post really solidify.
posted by
Jemmie211
on July 26, 2006 at 2:41 PM
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I think your friend is kinda in denial of who she is and what she really
wants. I think in order for her to get well, she'll have to face these issues and learn to stand up for herself with family etc. if that's what it takes.
I don't know what you could really do to help, except maybe help her realize that, and be there for her through this time.
posted by
Afzal_Sunny7
on July 26, 2006 at 1:55 PM
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Wow, that's a really wild story!
Actually, it's a really wide story, too. (What's up with the page margins?)
At any rate, she sounds really confused/disoriented/fucked up.
P.S. If my boyfriend ever caught me in bed with another girl, he'd be positively ecstatic.
Hobophobia (n): Fear of homeless people
posted by
Mademoiselle
on July 26, 2006 at 1:42 PM
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