Comments on why do people engage in illicit relationships ?

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Seeking Something They Won't Find

I believe people engage in illicit relationships for a host of reasons:

  1. They are not getting what they want in their life and relationships. As a result they look elsewhere hoping that the grass is greener on the other side. It isn't!
  2. They are looking for excitement and are hoping to find it in something new and exciting.
  3. There are people who have developed sexual addictions who look for sex anywhere they can find it. This is the reason most people have illicit relationships, but it does exist.
  4. They are getting back at their partner. This is a common reason that I have seen. It is common for one partner to cheat which gives the other partner reason to look outside of the relationship.

In the end, there are many reason why people have illict relationships. The question I would have for those who have is, "Do they know why?" All reasons would be an excuse. My partner didn't want to have as much sex as I did or we just weren't getting along at that time. All of these are rationalizations.

How to heal from a relationship like this? Dr. Janis Abrahms Spring has a couple of great books on this topic--After the Affair and How Can I Forgive You?

posted by IntimacyMatters on October 30, 2007 at 2:36 PM | link to this | reply

Lilane , Illicit relationship atleast is better than prostitution
hygeinically.

posted by afzal50 on July 17, 2006 at 7:30 PM | link to this | reply

AIDS?
how does illicit affairs prevent AIDS?

posted by Lanetay on July 17, 2006 at 6:20 PM | link to this | reply

Ariala, You are absolutely right and I have also touched upon the angle
brought forward by you . Good comment . Thanks.

posted by afzal50 on July 17, 2006 at 8:53 AM | link to this | reply

Tigerprincess , I agree with you . Thanks for your comments.

posted by afzal50 on July 17, 2006 at 8:44 AM | link to this | reply

I wrote a blog about the need not to judge people, even those involved in
such activities.  We do not know what is truly going on behind the scenes, and in the hearts and minds of those involved in such relationships.  This is not to say we should condone it, but there may be circumstances we just don't understand that lead people to do the things they do.

posted by Ariala on July 17, 2006 at 8:42 AM | link to this | reply

Lilane , Illicit relationship is not only popular in US but it is also
rampant in India . Nowadays, illicit relationship is become more popular because people want to avoid AIDS .

posted by afzal50 on July 17, 2006 at 8:35 AM | link to this | reply

It's an attack on the family which is at the core of American society. Illicit relationships should be frowned on in every sense. When you look at soap operas 99% of the issues presented there are caused by someone sleeping with someone they shouldn't be.

posted by tigerprincess on July 17, 2006 at 8:00 AM | link to this | reply

illicit
no they are not right but other than the people involved who else do they harm?  You know how I feel about this subject now, but I haven't always been clean of not loving someone not available to me because he was married.  But the morals in the US are very weak and many don't care that its not moral and  it breaks  the marriage vows.

posted by Lanetay on July 17, 2006 at 7:06 AM | link to this | reply