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dear mneme,never allow yourself to believe there is no way out. there are
ALWAYS options/ choices. envision yourself where you want to be, then visualize yourself taking steps back...back up until you are where you re now, and then retrace your steps.ther eis always a way to take you where you want to go. dream...dreams come true, but you have to believe.no one should live without true love,respect,honor, compassion, and loving companionship. the Golden Rule teaches us to love our nieghbors as ourself...please take time this week to meditate on this...
you must LOVE yourself first before you can love others...
posted by
muser
on June 22, 2006 at 7:15 PM
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Dear Muser
After just three days back in my home, there was an incredible row, again... the next evening was all quiet of course. This is why I left. If I don't humour him (he actually used that word) and worse still if I answer back, there is always trouble. I am afraid to go into another relationship. I so love reading about you and Max.. I found someone like that, and maybe one day it will happen for us, but not right now. I hope you understand, and that I have not changed your perceptions. I lived with this for so many years that, once I found peace, I couldn't make it work any more. My daughter went crazy at me, my son is more balanced. Both are grown. You might wonder what I am still doing here. Me too...(and how am I still smiling??)
It's rarely simple.
posted by
mneme
on June 22, 2006 at 3:28 AM
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Mneme, there was never any admission of wrongdoing on my spouse's part.
He was the one who had breached our marriage vows by having an affair on top of everything else...BUT I was selfish for going to counseling...I was only thinking of myself...AND I was the one who broke up our home by leaving. I also traumatized the "children". Our older son was away at college and our younger son was a senior in high school, who a few months later moved in with me because he did not like his father's girlfriend who moved in the next weekend after I left! He never acknowleged any wrongdoing!
posted by
muser
on June 20, 2006 at 4:46 AM
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Great to hear from you, Muser
I've missed you too, and thank you for your kind thoughts. Did you find also that there was never any admission of controlling behaviour? It's always disguised as being about having to make the decisions, and strange, isn't it, how much they love you suddenly, when you have nothing left. I couldn't stay with friends for long. I'm home alone, and it's nice.. I can collect my thoughts before the inevitable soccer, and keep myself busy.
posted by
mneme
on June 20, 2006 at 2:54 AM
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Mneme! I am so glad you are back!! I have really missed you. I am in the
states now, and have extended my stay until the 27th. It is so good to be home.
When things got so terrible for me emotionally, I left my home also. My former spouse was very controlling as well. I saw leaving as a very positive move; I needed alone time to get my mind cleared. He always viewed my leaving as a hopeless negative. I couldn't return. For the first time in years I had been "me"...I felt like a freed parakeet, and I was unwilling to go back into captivity.
It is a terrible situation that you are in, and my heart goes out to you. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
posted by
muser
on June 19, 2006 at 10:01 PM
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