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shypettite
exactly!
posted by
Nanaroo
on April 8, 2006 at 6:39 AM
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Yelling? It was no place in my home for this.
I have a big family- 2 sisters and 3 brothers. And I remember my home as the quiet place where everyone has right to express feelings, but it has to be done nice and polite. It was a rule. Good or bad, who can tell? I remebre me in few situations, when I was trying to express my anger, having eyes full of tears, couldn't say the word, but I wasn't able to do it. It was easier, I think, screem, yell than be nicee and polite in those moments. But I learn from my parents, to keep my anger in some kind of tight rein. Now, I think, that maybe it wasn't the best way to grow up. I have a lot of trouble with expressing my real feelings. Beeing angry is for me something, what I am always ashamed to be.
posted by
shypettite
on April 7, 2006 at 10:50 PM
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una01
I know what you mean- there is this one restaurant that we go to that has this waitress that is positively SMARMY
posted by
Nanaroo
on April 7, 2006 at 7:03 PM
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I would feel unnatural and creepy
when I am served by some catering and hospitality staff who go out of their way to be nice to me as a customer. I feel more comfortable with people who are nice but not over the top.
Maybe I am still having problem taking overly nice guys for granted.
posted by
una01
on April 7, 2006 at 7:01 PM
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shellyb
good for you- I'm starting to think that kicking and screaming in the right places and at the right time can be a good thing!
posted by
Nanaroo
on April 7, 2006 at 4:04 PM
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Nanaroo
When I was growing up, we yelled a lot! Now, I just keep my anger inside, especially in public. When I'm by myself though, I do all of the kicking, and screaming I can!
posted by
shelly_b
on April 7, 2006 at 3:22 PM
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Lucy
oh, that's too bad you had to see that but I'm glad to hear you had such a neat Dad... I did too...
posted by
Nanaroo
on April 7, 2006 at 3:18 PM
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Nana
It takes a lot to piss me off..We didn't yell in our house either. I can't ever remember my Dad and Mom ever fighting. Like you when I went to other peoples house, I was in shock. Once there was a girl who moved 2 doors down. She and I became friends and I would stop at her house to walk to school with her. Every morning she would try to get out of the house as fast as she could. kind of pushing me right along. Well one morning she wasn't so fast. Her Dad came into her bedroom and just starting beating her. I felt so bad and I didn't know what to do.....so I told my Dad that night. My Dad went over there and had a talk with that man....my Dad was not a violent man, quite the opposite...but I will say that after that. ...I wasn't allowed to pick her up anymore. She would meet me outside her house and she never had a black eye again.......so I guess I take after my Dad in that respect. He never let my brother or I see any type of violent....felt like I lived a very sheltered life!!! 
posted by
Offy
on April 7, 2006 at 3:15 PM
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sassyass64
thank you! I'm glad you and your hubby have gotten to a better place about this.
posted by
Nanaroo
on April 7, 2006 at 3:06 PM
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Expressing anger constructively is fine
but when it comes to veins popping out of the neck, faces turning red, and steam blowing out of your ears, you are headed straight for health problems. We all get angry, but I feel that we have to learn how to direct it.
posted by
Sherri_G
on April 7, 2006 at 2:54 PM
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sassyass64
do you think people are more prone to heart problems if they express their anger or, if they don't?
posted by
Nanaroo
on April 7, 2006 at 2:50 PM
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Good question
Anger is many things, but making you a heart attack victim comes to mind first. My husband and I used to be quite the screamers. We have since toned it down and talk our way through issues. He once busted out the passenger window in our car with his fist during a fit of rage. It took a lot of anger management to stop this vicious cycle. So far, so good.
posted by
Sherri_G
on April 7, 2006 at 2:49 PM
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Hi, Nanaroo,
I feel just like the lady in the cartoon, sometimes. Other times, I manage it pretty well. I guess I just let it out in spurts, not necessarily to best way to handle any emotion. Thanks. :)
posted by
BlackPearl1
on April 7, 2006 at 2:08 PM
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I raise my voice ~
not exactly a the level of yelling, but more of attention getting. I usually only do this in the car with bad drivers or occassionaly with my daughter when I've lost my patience. Otherwise, I'm very stern in my voice, but very calm with my requests.
posted by
TheNewMrs.C
on April 7, 2006 at 1:27 PM
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It totally depends on the audience.
My home was one you'd like to visit (why, I can't imagine) where my friends often felt uncomfortable that my parents yelled at me in front of them. In fact, one friend refused to spend the night at my house because, "You dad might go to throw something at you and miss and hit me!" Good logic.
posted by
brettnik
on April 7, 2006 at 12:19 PM
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Krystal: I hope I never get on your bad side..
LOL...Here, take my water pistol. If I ever piss you off, you have my permission to go nuts.
posted by
Captain_Gulliver
on April 7, 2006 at 8:57 AM
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"Actually, ma'am it's more of a Texas DRAW"
One of those soft, life's too short to rush kind of ascents.
*tipping my hat respectfully*
posted by
Captain_Gulliver
on April 7, 2006 at 8:55 AM
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Krystal
I bet you have fun getting mad sometimes!
posted by
Nanaroo
on April 7, 2006 at 8:51 AM
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Amen to that Captain Gulliver. I am from California, raised by a mother that was convinced that anger is a good emotion too, if expressed in a positive way, like yelling at telemarketers. Lol. Seriously though, my husband has to reign me back at times, because I just get so damned mad, I want to shoot something.
posted by
KrystalDMonroe
on April 7, 2006 at 8:48 AM
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Captain Gulliver
do you have one of those charming southern accents?
posted by
Nanaroo
on April 7, 2006 at 8:27 AM
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I grew up down South...
But currently reside amoung the 'Minesota Nice' so I know what you mean.
However, us Southerners are famous for two things: Our independance and of course, our charm. Now, the curious thing is that our charm even oozes through when we are very upset.
"I believe it is time that you take your leave of my home, sir," Which is Southern Charm for: 'I'm going upstairs and plan to come back down to my parlor with a pair of dueling pistols...be ready'
posted by
Captain_Gulliver
on April 7, 2006 at 8:22 AM
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Symphony
oh, yes, I am a lot like that too!
posted by
Nanaroo
on April 7, 2006 at 8:12 AM
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I have always had a very bad temper...growing up.
but it was only when I got older my anger turned inwards and now I bottle things up.......it takes me a very long time to get really angry...but once I am there it takes me ages to get rid of it.....does that make sense?
posted by
_Symphony_
on April 7, 2006 at 8:10 AM
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