Go to Common Sense - Dead or Alive?
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TXSwimmer
Good work
posted by
Justi
on November 6, 2005 at 11:41 PM
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TXSwimmer,
I've heard some of the "logic" that child molestors have used: "That 3 year old was just asking for it, she was coming on to me." Huh? Okay, kids can be flirtatious,even manipulative, but how does a 3 year old "ask" to be molested. That's sick, sick, sick.
posted by
Blanche.
on November 6, 2005 at 4:18 PM
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TXSwimmer, There really are a lot of idiots running around.
posted by
TAPS.
on November 6, 2005 at 4:12 PM
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Thanks to all for reading
Glad ya'll enjoyed these idiots. And every story is true. I have been compiling a list of other ones I have run into.
Okay - to answer some questions - the crack dealer who got life was sentenced for the Aggravated Robbery - the crack just added fuel to the fire. Besides, we take drugs seriously here. Did you know that, in some countries, a drug dealer is considered worse thana murderer? The philosophy is that a murderer kills one person, and a drug dealer kills many.
Back to back life - okay, in Texas, if you are sentenced to life, it can mean a minimum of 15 years (including good time) before parole, or a minimum of 30 years flat, depending on the charge, and whether or not a weapon was involved. Thus, the little shit that got back to back life will do a minimum of 60 before eligible for parole.
I never prosecuted a rocket scientist - the smartest one I ever had was an archeologist, who was a child molester. He was explaining that the reason he had this kid masturbate him was because he got "the wrong signals" from the kid, who walked in unexpectedly as the defendant was pleasuring himself. When I asked what kind of signals a nine yer old boy gives a man like him he got very indignant, and huffed, "well, I TOLD you that i read the signals wrong"!
That guy got probation from the judge. I was furious, and was almost held in contempt for my reaction to the sentence. It's okay, though - the guy blew himself away three years later when his wife found out he had a boyfriend.
Which reminds me - I ought to tell ya'll some of the sick reasoning that perverts come up with.
Thanks for bearing with me. They are fun to tell, and most people think I am lying - but if I'm lying, I am dying.
And thanks for the reference Offbeats, you are too fab!
posted by
TXSwimmer
on November 6, 2005 at 8:03 AM
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I am Offbeats biggest fan............
posted by
TXSwimmer
on November 6, 2005 at 7:54 AM
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You must have SO much fun telling this stuff in bars. I love you!
posted by
Gubby
on November 6, 2005 at 6:08 AM
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prosecute rocket scientists
Could you tell us what you think it would be like to prosocute a rocket scientist?
I agree that OffBeat has good taste.
Thanks, 
Jo
posted by
brisbane_artist
on November 6, 2005 at 1:30 AM
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Offbeat said read you and since she is the astute individual that I admire and never wrong in judgement, I have to agree who are a breath of fresh air for blogit. Love these little quirks of the "Most Stupid Criminal" and hope you entertain us with more. Shadow
posted by
Keshet
on November 5, 2005 at 7:51 PM
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TXSwimmer,
I have to admit that some of these people are just too dumb to breathe: like the woman who threatened to kick someone's ass in court, wearing the stolen boots into court, the skull and cross bones tshirt to court, the woman who forgot she's signed a confession then changed her story, and my personal favorite, the robber who left a check (LOL).
Two of these, my own personal jury is out on without more facts: what's up with the life for crack dealing (that wasn't the original charge and does crack dealing really merit life without parole?) and the woman who had no way to pay her fine cause she didn't have a job. Hmm. I'd like more info.
posted by
Blanche.
on November 5, 2005 at 6:39 PM
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That was quite amusing...
posted by
UtahAngel22
on November 5, 2005 at 6:22 PM
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Offbeats recommended you and I must admit she was right! Looking forward to reading more from you.
posted by
Ca88andra
on November 5, 2005 at 5:22 PM
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You are so funny. People are morons! I cover the court and police beat for a newspaper and we see idiots all the time. It is amazing..Not to mention my family is a bunch of convicts, and I can tell you, common sense jsut does nto exist. Had a foster brother once that, at age 38, tried to run away from two state troopers on a bicycle...on the Thruway! A bike he stole after blowing up his car...what a nut....People are insane.
posted by
PhillysTales
on November 5, 2005 at 3:15 PM
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TX
I came to check you out after reading Offbeats. She and I have much in common so I knew if she liked ya, I probably would, and I do! Funny stuff! I'll come back again.
posted by
jojostar
on November 5, 2005 at 12:19 PM
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Excellent post! I've been ROFL for the last five minutes. And yes, I would agree that, after reading some of these samples, the average crook's IQ must surely be below 80.
posted by
JanesOpinion
on November 5, 2005 at 10:33 AM
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TX
Yes, you have now created a monster that you must feed! I want more....that's my face, but I don't own a shirt like that....where do these people come from?? I made five thousand dolla sellin crack cocaine....thank God that won't be back for a long time (the poor woman).... and two life sentences? I never understood that, you can't live twice, you can't die twice, how can you serve two life sentences? Why not just, ya know, lay his shit out for good of mankind???? More!!
posted by
Offy
on November 5, 2005 at 10:32 AM
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Thanks, cat
When you have been a prosecutor for twenty years, you get a lot of material. I have gotten a lot of press for some of my in court ramblings, which pisses my boss off (literally - he told me I got too much press time, and so started assigning cases of less public interest).
One of my defense lawyer friends (yeah - I have defense lawyers as friends! They are not all evil!) asked for permission to publish a book of my quotes. I told him to have at it. Of course, being a lawyer, he wanted to make sure I wouldn't ask for any royalties. LOL
Iwill post some more as time permits. Ya gotta love these guys!
posted by
TXSwimmer
on November 5, 2005 at 9:52 AM
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TX... those are great! You have about 20 posts worth of material there!
posted by
-blackcat
on November 5, 2005 at 9:38 AM
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TX, years ago, I was a deputy sheriff. And one thing I learned while doing
that job is the average crook is severely retarded.
posted by
Feenix
on November 5, 2005 at 9:15 AM
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I hear all the time how my little boy is beautiful. And he is, he has the prettiest little face I have seen on a little boy. (No not because he's mine! lol) But if he hears you say this....he screams, "HANDSOME!" Now when he brushes his hair, he'll come and tell me, "Mommy, I brushed my handsome hair". Or when he gets dressed, "Mommy, don't I look so handsome?" SO I guess I better cut that out before he becomes one of those arrogant assholes when he grows up. Good he knows he's cute, but lets keep it at a human level....lol.
Brave women Reni - on that Priest comment...lol.
posted by
Kiddo75
on November 5, 2005 at 9:08 AM
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kiddo--My son is beautiful. Kinda creeps me out because he's in
Catholic school and all. We all know about priests and beautiful boys... lol
Wow, I'm gonna have to confess that one...
posted by
Renigade
on November 5, 2005 at 9:03 AM
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lol....women can be handsome, and men can be beautiful. Odd, isn't it?
posted by
Kiddo75
on November 5, 2005 at 9:01 AM
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Renigade
Oh, how you make me laugh. But it's true. I am blond, blue eyed, tall, and have a gloriously Aryan face. A Mexican friend of mine told me never to buy a Volkswagon,because I would get stoned when I came into his neighborhood.
My mama had olive skin, Chestnut curly hair, and "hook nose", God bless her. She was a strikingly "handsome" beauty. Many people thought I was adopted.
posted by
TXSwimmer
on November 5, 2005 at 8:59 AM
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Ah, a Jew in Aryan's clothing...How clever...lol
And I though I was stupid. Thanks for making me feel better!
posted by
Renigade
on November 5, 2005 at 8:47 AM
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