Go to I WRITE, THEREFORE I AM
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- Go to What gives you the right to tell ME how I feel?
As a mother with children, I would think
if I loved my cats and dogs equal to the amount I love my kids, I wouldn't deserve kids. But, if I did not have children to make that emotional comparisson, I am positive I would feel the exact same way as you. I am very good to my cats and dogs, but it's not the same love I feel for my kids. Take care Quirkyalone!
posted by
Flumpystalls3000
on October 9, 2005 at 1:27 PM
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Beautiful expressions Quirky
That last sentence says it all. So true and powerful.
posted by
Katray2
on October 9, 2005 at 7:51 AM
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Love is Love
I don’t have a problem with him taking three, four days, but I do have a problem
With those mother fuckers who had something to say, as we didn’t know from the
Way he handled 9/11; in the next devastation he would be late; really I just think we
needed a way to sustain our ability to complain, and place the blame anywhere
Else but on ourselves
posted by
fourfive
on October 8, 2005 at 9:07 PM
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you read my post about having to put my cat to sleep... I think that about
says it all. I don't have kids, but is it the same love as what I feel for my nieces? I can't honestly say it's the same, but kids and animals both own huge parts of my heart. When my cat was sick, I remember one ignorant co-worker asking me how much it would cost to buy a new cat over treating him. Idiot.
posted by
-blackcat
on October 8, 2005 at 7:09 PM
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You can see why I took a deep breath before commenting here earlier.
I had cats before and since being a mother. The second of the cats died a few weeks after my daughter was born. I remember sitting inside holding the baby and spotting the cat on the unmown lawn in the rain and knowing she was fading. My neighbor who loved our cats and cared for them if we were away had alerted me that he was worried. We did what we could and took her to the vet at once but it was a tough time with a new baby and me sitting there with a tumor and undergoing a series of tests and waiting for treatment.
I always felt guilty because I knew that had all of that not being going on we might have helped the cat better - we might have seen the signs sooner. So you see I say honestly although it gives me no pleasure about came first.
posted by
Azur
on October 8, 2005 at 6:55 PM
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Well you know how I feel about my dogs! I will agree that I don't know what it feels like to love a child of my own. But I also know that I love my dogs as if they were my children. Most of my friends who had children after their pets don't love the pets any less. It's just a different love. Like Alf said, if they were faced with taht awful "sophie's choice" scenario, I they'd save their children, but the love for their animals isn't diminished. And for those of us without families, it's everything.
posted by
Holy_Grail
on October 8, 2005 at 6:04 PM
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Quirky,
I understand what you're saying. I really don't appreciate when people tell me, "You'll never understand the love for a child until (or unless) you have one." Bullshit. I may not know the love for my own birth child, but I know love, I know love between husband and wife, friends, and the bonding, communicative love I share with my dogs. I lack nothing. Great post.
posted by
SpitFire70
on October 8, 2005 at 5:46 PM
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Pity the person who underestimates the intensity of love for an animal!
posted by
Corkie
on October 8, 2005 at 5:26 PM
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quirky-girl
most people don't really realize that love is not small, doesn't have boundries and limits, and can't be pigeon holed, directed or contained. Its like grief, sacred ground between the lover and the beloved regardless of the form either takes.
posted by
MysticGmekeepr
on October 8, 2005 at 3:51 PM
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Love of cats, Quirky
posted by
TAPS.
on October 8, 2005 at 1:29 PM
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Tandra--
Is that her name or her nickname?
posted by
Julia.
on October 8, 2005 at 1:17 PM
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Tapsel--
Ailurophilia?? I'm going to have to go get my dictionary for that! ;-)
posted by
Julia.
on October 8, 2005 at 1:16 PM
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Jomei--
Yes, I do believe they are quite amazing teachers in that regard.
posted by
Julia.
on October 8, 2005 at 1:16 PM
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quirky
my sister told me that when i had kids that i would love my dogs less. it isn't true. i love them more. they accept and love the kids. they protect them and tolerate them. they sleep with them and tell us when something's wrong. they look after them when they are in the back yard playing. i would never think that these dogs are anything other than my children, too.
posted by
avant-garde
on October 8, 2005 at 6:05 AM
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Quirky...
I feel sorry for people who say, "But it's just a dog," or "It's just a cat," or "It's just some other kind of animal."
I guess those of us who value the RELATIONSHIPS we establish with pets are a little more enlightened. Now, I have some talking to go do with my 12 year old dog. I can tell by the look in her eyes that she had a tough day. 
NOBODY HAS A RIGHT HOW TO TELL YOU HOW TO FEEL ABOUT THE LOVES OF YOUR LIFE. Next time they try to speak when they shouldn't throw a litter box morsel at them and tell them to pipe down!
posted by
Masky
on October 8, 2005 at 3:45 AM
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Quirky...
Anyone who knows anything about me knows how I weigh in here. However, having both human and animal children I think that the love I feel for my human children is different. It isn't more or less of an emotion...it's just different. While raising my human children I did so with the intent of making them able to take care of themselves. With Adrienne, I know she will always depend on me and never leave me...that is a difference. There is also the blood, my children are actually part of me while Adrienne is not. I can't help but break this down to the worst possible scenario....if one of my children and Adrienne were in the water drowning and I could only save one of them, I have to say I would save my child. It just seems like the right thing to do. I don't think that means I love them more, only differently. Besides, I think the spirits of animals are more resilient. There are many kinds of love, all are priceless. great thought provoking post.
posted by
A_Norseman
on October 7, 2005 at 10:58 PM
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Quirky
I usually sit with my laptop in my lap....duh; and, Bliss insists on trying to sit there, too. She ends up sitting on my breasts, sort of....I'm such a dedicated mom, I scrunch down so that she can be comfortable while I reach around her...this, of course, is probably one reason my shoulder (and neck)injury is taking such a long time to heal! She purrs, stretches, reaches her paw up to fondle my chin and neck, helps me type, blocks the screen..... Meanwhile, charm continues her quest to completely cover all the pillows piled on my daybed with a layer of white fur..... Yes, we do love our cats....
posted by
Krisles
on October 7, 2005 at 8:59 PM
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LOL, I love my kitty so much. She's my baby girl, my "Sweet Kitty".
posted by
Tandra
on October 7, 2005 at 8:49 PM
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Quirkyalone, I can't imagine why anyone would care how much you love your kitties. Ailurophilia is very common.
posted by
TAPS.
on October 7, 2005 at 8:19 PM
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Quirky
Animals can teach us a thing or two about love, thats for sure. If people don't understand, thats just because they have closed a part of their heart off, but thats not your problem.
posted by
Jomei
on October 7, 2005 at 7:53 PM
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Georgia--
Yes!! My favorite is the "cat that just ate the canary" kind of smile my kitties have sometimes--
posted by
Julia.
on October 7, 2005 at 6:02 PM
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Oh, Quirky,
I can totally relate to what you're saying. Animals definitely have human emotions. All you need to do is look into their faces. They knead their brows together as humans do to emote confusion, they open their eyes wide like humans do in fear, they hope you don't notice when they slowly turn away and quickly lick their paws to pretend they don't notice you when they're ready to pounce on you in fun, or on their prey in the hunt; and they warn you of danger. What amazing and loving creatures they are!
posted by
Georgia
on October 7, 2005 at 5:57 PM
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Bright--thanks.
I have to tell you, those stamps are so cute!
posted by
Julia.
on October 7, 2005 at 5:47 PM
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Hemlocker--
Yes I have heard that quote before, it is a very good one. thanks for sharing!
posted by
Julia.
on October 7, 2005 at 5:46 PM
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MayB--
There's nothing wrong with being honest, or in feeling the way you do about it...and at least you say, you don't judge how I feel.
posted by
Julia.
on October 7, 2005 at 5:45 PM
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critter--
both you and your daughter sound like lovely people, and I am pleased to make your acquaintance. I will read you very soon. thanks.
posted by
Julia.
on October 7, 2005 at 5:44 PM
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ravencat--
thank you for your wonderful comment, I am glad to have you be a part of the "choir"...;-)
posted by
Julia.
on October 7, 2005 at 5:43 PM
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flame-thrower--
your commment was a little discombobulated, but I think I understand what you mean, thanks for reading.
posted by
Julia.
on October 7, 2005 at 5:42 PM
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Lensman--
Thank you very much. Yes I hate that "it was only an animal" argument too, and the idea that there are degrees or pecentages of love, and never could it be 100% for animals. For some, like you and me, it can and it is.
posted by
Julia.
on October 7, 2005 at 5:41 PM
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Quirky....
I would not question a persons love for their animals. 
posted by
BrightIrish
on October 7, 2005 at 3:24 PM
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quirky--
I don't remember exactly who it was--I think it was Gandhi who said "The greatness of a nation can be judged by the way its animals are treated." Enough said. Hemlocker
posted by
Hemlocker
on October 7, 2005 at 3:22 PM
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If I am honest and that's the only way I can be, I can't imagine feeling the same way about an animal as I do my children but I have no issue with you feeling the way you do.
posted by
Azur
on October 7, 2005 at 3:16 PM
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(^_^)
I have both a daughter and 4 dogs, 3 cats, 1 rabbit, and 1 frog. Both my and my daughter love our animals and when my cat Kender got deathly ill a couple of years ago I cried all day for all three days she spent at the vet. Whenever my daughter finds an animal she has to release back into wherever it came from (she loves bringing home frogs and snakes) she gets so upset because she wants to take care of it. When we had orphaned kittens here bottle feeding them, she cried for a week when they didn't make it. People can easily become as attached to any other living thing as we do our own kind.
posted by
Critter_and_Josh
on October 7, 2005 at 3:08 PM
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Oh So True
Well said posting. Of course, I'm one of the "charter" members of your choir...having tons of inside & outside cats (and other assorted creatures on my property). Never could understand how some folks could even say "it's just a cat.". My love is as deep for all the companion animals that I've been blessed with over the years as it would be if I had had a child. Thanks for saying it so well.
posted by
ravencat18
on October 7, 2005 at 2:57 PM
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You are absolutely, in my opinion if you can show love for an animal which in reality are not different from Humans, then you can even pretend to be kind to humans at all.
posted by
Flame-thrower
on October 7, 2005 at 2:55 PM
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Quirky
Top-notch topic for a post. I'm with you all the way on this one. It just about did me in when my old dog died. I have little patience for comments such as, "It was only a dog." A person's heart doesn't ration out love that way, as in, "It was only a dog, so I guess I'll only feel 43% of the pain, then." It's there or it isn't. Well, said
posted by
Lensman
on October 7, 2005 at 2:44 PM
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Rabbit--
I appreciate your comment and for taking the time to hop on by.
posted by
Julia.
on October 7, 2005 at 2:25 PM
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word.smith--
Oh, I couldn't imagine living without pets!
posted by
Julia.
on October 7, 2005 at 2:25 PM
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IJemmie and Isa--
thanks for reading.
posted by
Julia.
on October 7, 2005 at 2:24 PM
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jojo--
yeah, preaching to the choir all right--but I'm glad you undestand.
posted by
Julia.
on October 7, 2005 at 2:24 PM
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Amen Sister!!!
Same here!
posted by
Jemmie211
on October 7, 2005 at 12:27 PM
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>:-} ihave, and have had, lots of BOTH... and find that my feelings for
both are equally as intense. My pets are like children and companions, and i do know that they love me just as well as I know that my children and companion do.
Enjoyed this post very much! Blessings!
the LOVE is very real and that's what really matters!
posted by
wiserabbit
on October 7, 2005 at 11:45 AM
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Quirky,
I don't have any pets but I do know that most people who have pets, have a deep love for them.
posted by
word.smith
on October 7, 2005 at 10:52 AM
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great article...
thank you, that was really great
posted by
Marshallengraved
on October 7, 2005 at 10:26 AM
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Quirky
I feel the same way. My dogs are my children. Just in general, I value animal life as much as human life. I told someone once that it saddens me that animals just had the dumb luck of ending up on the this planet with a species as invasive as humans. We just think we can take over everything and control every creature in the world. I know many don't understand this. But geez, how many dogs serial killers are there, or how many cats drink and drive? Sorry, I'm preaching to choir.
posted by
jojostar
on October 7, 2005 at 10:22 AM
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tissi--
lol---quirly might catch on, it rhymes with squirrelly and ya know...that probably fits me...
posted by
Julia.
on October 7, 2005 at 10:20 AM
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Quirky**** sorry
I have been on a typo madness spree today
posted by
TissiBlake
on October 7, 2005 at 10:18 AM
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Quirly so well said
and I agree 100%. Love is love no matter who/what it is shared by. There is never a time I question the love my cats have for me nor do they not know they are loved by me. Even having as many as I do a day never passes that each one isn't picked up and loved
posted by
TissiBlake
on October 7, 2005 at 10:17 AM
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MW--
yeah...me too!! But never YOU of course. lol.
posted by
Julia.
on October 7, 2005 at 9:30 AM
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Gubby--
Oh, is that what it is? I didn't know! lol.
posted by
Julia.
on October 7, 2005 at 9:29 AM
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cosy--
I know the whole picture thing is not as complicated as it sounds to me, and --soon--I intend to try it (I haven't yet, can you believe that, after 18 months of blogging?)
posted by
Julia.
on October 7, 2005 at 9:28 AM
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There are times that I like my cat
much more than I like humans!
posted by
Bel_
on October 7, 2005 at 9:28 AM
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Medusa--thanks.
It's okay if not everyone gets it--when do 100% of people ever understand
anyone??
posted by
Julia.
on October 7, 2005 at 9:27 AM
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Weeell... mums and kids are sort of a hormonal instinct to ensure the safety of their young... hence HMAE (Hysterical Mothers Against Everything).
posted by
Gubby
on October 7, 2005 at 9:20 AM
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Quirky
hey post pictures of the kitty's I love them. I had one named smoky, considered it our child, but my partner ended up staying with him...full custody kinda thing, lol. Four years spent with him was wonderful...I can't compare him to my son at all but I understand 100% where you are coming from!! See ya soon...smile...hugs...love Cosy
posted by
cosy
on October 7, 2005 at 9:17 AM
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Hi Quirky...Well put.
And I don't even have a pet. But I understand you, but I'm not sure 100% of the people will. You wrote this really well. How could anyone doubt your true love for an animal?
posted by
MedusaNextDoor
on October 7, 2005 at 9:05 AM
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