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Offbeats,
I don't know. I haven't figured men out yet.
posted by
SpitFire70
on September 21, 2005 at 5:56 PM
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Spiffy
I have seen some of the women my ex's have.. and quite frankly I don't know what to think of them. Mostly I think YIKES, glad I am out of there! I don't take it personally, if their happy with it, I am happy for them. Except one woman was a real troll and I did question that choice. Don't you think some men like women who are lesser attractive then themselves, it makes them look good. Methinks!
posted by
Offy
on September 21, 2005 at 4:34 PM
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Justsouno,
Awesome answers!! I agree with you. I think so many people can feel differently about this, but we all have to look to reality and know that we've all wondered once or twice. However, yeah, it is a question of whether or not the "ex" is looking skin deep or just superficially. Personally, I think the "looks department" is a catch 22 scenario!
posted by
SpitFire70
on September 21, 2005 at 2:02 AM
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blackcat, I think the best way to look at it would be
to believe you were too good for him or her!!
posted by
SpitFire70
on September 21, 2005 at 1:59 AM
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Spitfire,
I think this is a very telling question or set of questions. 1. I would probably have some real concerns about where I had put my values, particularly if I really wanted the relationship. 2. I would have more respect for him because obviously he is looking for a relationship that is more than skin deep. Although I have seen some who needed skinning. 3. Is she just not blessed with beauty? Is she overweight but well kept and dressed nicely? 4. If she is just cheap and trashy looking I would be sad for him and for the loss of time I gave it. It is a mind boggling situation. Most of us do not take well to another person in our business when that business is love. I would think all these things after I had staked my husband out in the hot sun. LOL (without water!)
posted by
Justi
on September 20, 2005 at 11:09 PM
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hmmmm... I think it depends on your level of self esteem... LOL
If she's nasty, you may think you were too good for him or too bad... it all depends how you view yourself.
posted by
-blackcat
on September 20, 2005 at 6:14 PM
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jojostar, now that's a good way of looking at it!
posted by
SpitFire70
on September 20, 2005 at 6:09 PM
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Strat,
I just read your comment to my mom and she's cracking up. You silly.
posted by
SpitFire70
on September 20, 2005 at 6:00 PM
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Factor,
Well think about it damnit!
posted by
SpitFire70
on September 20, 2005 at 5:48 PM
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Jems, it would be very difficult to be nicer than you!
posted by
SpitFire70
on September 20, 2005 at 5:47 PM
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spitfire
i think it would be more a matter of her wanting someone different. there would be that part of me that would wonder, 'what??' this kind of happened to me, but she didn't do the break up; i did. she took up with a guy who was totally different from me, but who had more money so it was obvious why. anyway, good post.
posted by
avant-garde
on September 20, 2005 at 5:01 PM
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Neither.
It just doesn't matter to me that way. I can't separate it out. I look at what they offer that I couldn't, and that would be my focus more than the looks. Hopefully, ultimately, making it better in the end. If someone cheated on me with someone less attractive I would be upset because so often that is just about the physical, but in this case -- your scenario -- it's different. I think it would be harder if the new person was much better looking. I think looks, at a certain age and maturity level, really don't have much to do with love. We love the whole person.
posted by
Temple
on September 20, 2005 at 6:00 AM
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well, my ex married a model and I came away thinking hey, he has high standards and if he was with me for so long, I must be pretty great! He didn't dump me for her though, that probably would have been a whole different story.
posted by
jojostar
on September 20, 2005 at 5:50 AM
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I think if I got the rudest surprise of my life like that,
I wouldn't much care what the new screw du jour looks like -- I'd be mortally offended no matter what. It could be Zlateh the Goat, for all I care.
So yeah, first I'd be insulted, then I'd question my sanity. Then I'd go to Vegas, get hammered, and visit the nearest cathouse. Then I'd be a new man.
I'm a simple soul...
posted by
strat
on September 20, 2005 at 5:48 AM
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I haven't the foggiest!
posted by
FactorFiction
on September 20, 2005 at 5:47 AM
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Hard to say
I think I'd be confused more than anything about why they left me for someone so nasty-looking. Then I'd feel like crap because I'd think that person must be much nicer than me.
posted by
Jemmie211
on September 20, 2005 at 5:47 AM
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mcbreeze,
please do get back to me!
posted by
SpitFire70
on September 20, 2005 at 4:00 AM
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SpitFire70
Thats a hard one i will have a think about it and get back to you.xx
posted by
mcbreeze
on September 20, 2005 at 2:39 AM
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