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Akyterine--
Yeah, there is that whole "permanence" thing about it...which is what makes it so difficult I guess.
posted by
Julia.
on July 25, 2005 at 9:21 AM
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I don't think suicide is ever the answer...once you're dead, you're dead...and there's nothing else you can do. It's also such a terrible thing to do to your family.
posted by
Akyterine
on July 24, 2005 at 11:01 PM
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MysticG--
thank you very much my friend!
posted by
Julia.
on July 23, 2005 at 5:35 PM
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Quirky-Girl
suicide is the worst legacy anyone can leave behind...you describe the anguish of wrestling wtih something taht has no answer because the answer was taken away. It is also the last willful thing a human being does, the last time he exercises his free will and makes a choice. Always excruciating for those left behind especially children. I'm so sorry for your experience.
posted by
MysticGmekeepr
on July 23, 2005 at 5:22 PM
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allicat--
right--life has a way of always bringing surprises.
posted by
Julia.
on July 23, 2005 at 4:01 PM
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UsualSuspect,
Or if I don't, then I pray that I be at peace with not having any answers
posted by
Julia.
on July 23, 2005 at 4:00 PM
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Ca88,
Or if they do have an idea, they just can't really think about it. Or choose not to.
posted by
Julia.
on July 23, 2005 at 3:59 PM
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Just--yeah, if ever there were a good example of "deafening silence," this would be it.
posted by
Julia.
on July 23, 2005 at 3:59 PM
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I agree with you that suicide is not the answer
Even if a person sees no solution to their problems, even if they have no friends, even if they are in horrible emotional pain...we never know what tomorrow brings. Maybe tomorrow brings love or happiness or friendship. Who knows? That's the wonder of life.
posted by
allicat275
on July 23, 2005 at 3:16 PM
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I think anyone who follows through on committing suicide...
is in no frame of mind to truly ponder the ripples it will cause. It seems a definitive answer to any seemingly insurmountable problem. I'm sorry that you are unable to get the answers you need from him, but maybe they will come some other way.
posted by
UsualSuspect
on July 23, 2005 at 7:46 AM
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I guess most suicides have no idea what effect their actions will have on their loved ones.
posted by
Ca88andra
on July 22, 2005 at 9:51 PM
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Quirky I know that suicide is never the answer. Sometimes you are so
afraid of what is in front of you that you feel you need to control it. At least that is my opinion, but you answered the whole thing. No one can ask him or anyone else why. They are silent and that silence can be deafening. This is such a courageous effort you are undergoing.
posted by
Justi
on July 22, 2005 at 7:59 PM
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Quirky,
You are VERY welcome...
posted by
SincerityAnna
on July 22, 2005 at 3:31 PM
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Shadow, Merry and Anna,
thank you for taking the time to leave a comment. I sincerely appreciate it.
posted by
Julia.
on July 22, 2005 at 3:29 PM
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Quirky...
The last line of that post is the absolute truth...
posted by
SincerityAnna
on July 22, 2005 at 2:37 PM
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an ex-boyfriend
once tried to kill himself in my livingroom. I never understood it, and was haunted by it for a long time. his family blamed me, I blamed him and his family and he blamed the world. I have no answers for this one Quirky.
posted by
MerryAnne
on July 22, 2005 at 1:24 PM
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Quirky,
I had a friend who 20 years ago attempted suicide. He drove his car into a Interstate column 5 minutes after leaving a party. The whole time at the party he was acting normal, happy, joking and had even made a date with a girl he liked for the next night. He survived the accident, spent months in the hospital recovering, lives in accute physical pain from his injuries. He mentioned about a year later that he felt he was a complete failure for not dying, but too defeated, too "weak" to try again. I saw him a few months ago. He was deliberately living in his car and just working enough to buy alcohol. His parents have lived nothing but pure hell since that night. He was a straight A student in school. He was the "model son". Everyone liked him. He refused to give any explanation for his actions. I watched him break his family's heart with his silence and retreat from everyone. Its can be a tragedy either way. Shadow
posted by
Keshet
on July 22, 2005 at 1:17 PM
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Medusa--
It's a great show and that particular part was so interesting to me, probably for obvious reasons. Thanks for your kind words.
posted by
Julia.
on July 22, 2005 at 9:22 AM
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I've never seen "Medium," but that made sense..
I am sorry you lost your brother. He is still your brother and I can try to imagine the deep pain you have experienced.
posted by
MedusaNextDoor
on July 22, 2005 at 9:12 AM
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Medusa,
Thanks.
Did you happen to catch the episode of Medium where they said, of a person jumping off a bridge etc., that "halfway down they realize that every problem they have is fixable, except this one (the jumping). In my brother's case that's probably not true, but in many cases it IS...and they don't realize there is a solution other than death, until it is too late.
posted by
Julia.
on July 22, 2005 at 9:04 AM
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blackcat--
it's probably true that in that moment, they are only thinking of themselves.
posted by
Julia.
on July 22, 2005 at 9:01 AM
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Factor--
Yes, it is maddening. I can't really think about it too much, or I start going loco.
posted by
Julia.
on July 22, 2005 at 8:59 AM
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keri--
I suppose the biggest issue is that he left so many unanswered questions...but even if he had answered them first and then killed himself, his death would still weigh on my mind.
posted by
Julia.
on July 22, 2005 at 8:57 AM
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Hi Quirkyalone.....Powerful Writing.....
Excellent job. You touched me, and I suppose that's all a good writer can hope for. One of my father's older brothers killed himself. That always bothered my dad. He always taught us..."It's not the end of the world." He meant regarding huge problems. And yet, after reading your post, I was trying to get inside the head of your brother and maybe why he chose that path.
posted by
MedusaNextDoor
on July 22, 2005 at 8:57 AM
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No. It's not an answer. It only leaves more questions. I believe it's the most selfish act that can be committed. I don't believe that those who do it can fully realize this, but still the fact remains. I'm sorry for your pain.
posted by
-blackcat
on July 22, 2005 at 8:55 AM
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That not knowing would be maddening to me...
that much I am sure of...
posted by
FactorFiction
on July 22, 2005 at 8:47 AM
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Is it the suicide itself or the other questions of why he committed the murder(s)? I suppose both leave a hollow feeling in the pit of the stomach.
posted by
keri5707
on July 22, 2005 at 8:41 AM
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