Comments on SILENT WORSHIP

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COMMENT ON YOUR COMMENT RE MY COMMENTS LOL

Hi Meringue,

First of all, which will cover a couple of things, I've just posted Endless Night. This is what I mean by a poem having more impact if it's in shorter pieces - not necessarily quatrains - each dealing with a single idea/emotion/concept See, I reckon it's easy to fall into the trap of writing mainly for other poets ; or people who are poetically literate As I've seen so often on blogit poor old Clarity gets sacrificed on the altar of  Obscurity.

There is no inherent virtue whatsoever in obscurity for its own sake ; poetry is but another form of communication, so what's the point of speaking.writing things that no ordinary person could understand? Part of why we write is surely to broaden the readership, isn't it?

" Awestricken" is correct.

Okay, have a look at Endless Night, and let me know what you think? I might not get around to critiquing ( Horrible illegimate verb, born of a noun!) your stuff today, but I will as soon as I can. It's my wife's 69th birthday tomorrow, and we'll be out for a lot of the day, but I will soon, I promise

hasta luego, y dos besos y an abrazo para ti. Cheeky!!! 

posted by ariel70 on July 12, 2005 at 8:46 AM | link to this | reply

I love it a whole lot as a short story

other than the one word"awestricken".maybe "awestruck" would be more  appropriate?Am very curious to see the poem,will you please post it?

And may I thank you from the bottom of my soul for being the first person to give intelligent,pertinent comments on my work......Will you please,please go back to your comments,and see my replies,so I can ask for more help?I am very greedy,you see,this is the very first time I have received serious  critiques.

You have suggested setting some of the poems into quatrains and some to be cut into shorter stanzas......

Would you please demonstrate on any of the poems?So I know how to do it well.Will try the prose to poetry genre that you talk about....and post it for you:)

Once again,heartfelt thanks for your time and energy.Thanking you in anticipation of the rest of the poems receiving similar attention:))))

Regards,

 

posted by Meringue on July 12, 2005 at 8:06 AM | link to this | reply

you comment

 

Thank you for your comment. I take it you were referring to Silent Worship?

The poem was published in an anthology in the UK, and Silent Worship here in Spain. Far as I recall, I was paid about £15 for it.

I'll post Endless Night on my bog again, so that you can see its development. I hope you like my blog. I must lok your over.

posted by ariel70 on July 12, 2005 at 7:49 AM | link to this | reply

Ariel
This is very lovely. Out of curiousity, how much were you paid for this work??

posted by Joe_Love on July 12, 2005 at 6:51 AM | link to this | reply