Go to I WRITE, THEREFORE I AM
- Add a comment
- Go to No matter how well you think you know someone, the truth is, you might not.
You can never truly know another person, be it a family member or a spouse, or whatever.
posted by
keri5707
on May 25, 2005 at 7:30 AM
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gem-ini, thank you very much for your nice comment.
posted by
Julia.
on May 24, 2005 at 2:55 PM
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Dear Quirky
I just want to say you are much braver than you think, or know, you actually are. Not many people can be as honest with themselves as you have obviously been. There is no such thing as perfection in this world but the pursuance of perfection in recognising your own frailties, is probably the most commendable thing on earth. No matter if you think you are weak or fucked up, I want you to know that I admire your strength.
posted by
Black_Coffee
on May 23, 2005 at 11:23 AM
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justsouno,
hey, who are you calling fat? ;-)
posted by
Julia.
on May 21, 2005 at 11:51 AM
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Quirky, I just read this and I thank you so much for sharing this. I hope
it helped some. I can't say anything that will help anything except I love your tanicity for going on and being a success. It is not over, the fat lady has not sung.
posted by
Justi
on May 20, 2005 at 10:06 PM
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lovelyladymonk,
No, I really am, but it's okay...really. Thanks!
posted by
Julia.
on May 19, 2005 at 7:11 PM
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Quirky,
I am so very, very sorry...You're not f'd up, honey...God bless your poor, aching soul. You have my tears...
posted by
lovelyladymonk
on May 19, 2005 at 2:50 PM
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chelly,
You're right that the ones who go through tragic events "seemingly unscathed" are most likely more screwed up than anyone.
posted by
Julia.
on May 19, 2005 at 1:12 PM
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Tarzana,
I may do just that!
posted by
Julia.
on May 19, 2005 at 1:11 PM
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Mapet,
Either that, or extremely foolish.
posted by
Julia.
on May 19, 2005 at 1:10 PM
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Ca88,
Thank you. But I don't really feel like I
have survived. I mean, I am breathing physically but deep down, much of my life I have not been "alive."
posted by
Julia.
on May 19, 2005 at 1:09 PM
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mysteria, thanks.
This is really a beautiful sentence: Rough lives often give us rich shapes
posted by
Julia.
on May 19, 2005 at 1:08 PM
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Quirky...I don't think you're fucked up. Honestly I never have, but since
you think you are, or think that other's think you are...then maybe it's a side I haven't seen. see, I tend to block out dysfunction...instead I seem to embrace it. Anyway, you are what you had to be to get to this point. People may say things about you, talk about the way you are, but when I hear some of the things going on about me I just say "Fuck 'em". People who know me, or know what I've been through, do not question my odd behavior sometimes. They accept it and understand that my views have been a little twisted, and I became who I am to survive. The people who listen to shit, especially ones who do not know me and make pre determined assumptions...are people I do not want around me either way. Fuck em. Shitty things happen, lives get torn apart and screwed up. Show me a person that walks away from carnage with an intact normal way of thinking...and I'll show you a true case of insanity.
posted by
Kiddo75
on May 19, 2005 at 12:21 PM
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It's OK. Quirky ~ You go ahead and cry all you want.
posted by
TARZANA
on May 19, 2005 at 11:16 AM
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Jeez, Quirky
I'm sorry about the trial you endured. but you're obviously a strong woman to be able to write about it.
posted by
Mapet6
on May 19, 2005 at 9:57 AM
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You aren't fucked up. You are a survivor and you have survived something that a lot of people wouldn't have. *hugs*
posted by
Ca88andra
on May 19, 2005 at 3:55 AM
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(((quirky)))
mah' love...I'll never find the words... Time may heal everything, but not things like this...I know much about such pain. Rough lives often give us rich shapes... and do indeed make some of us even more precious (((Quirky)))
posted by
mysteria
on May 18, 2005 at 9:12 PM
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saul relative,
thank you; it is comments like yours that make coming to Blogit worth every dime and minute of my time.
posted by
Julia.
on May 18, 2005 at 5:42 PM
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tiger,
I agree with you; the siblings and the parents are often the "forgotten victims"--no one even really thinks about what their pain must be like.
posted by
Julia.
on May 18, 2005 at 5:41 PM
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A terrible tragedy, Quirkyalone,
for you and your family. I have nothing in my life to vaguely compare it to. But what an evocative post. Your writing style suspended my disbelief and, briefly, I could see and feel that tragic day. What loss...
posted by
saul_relative
on May 18, 2005 at 3:34 PM
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Ouch
I remember the day I found out my brother had done something hideous. That day was followed by months of my parents wondering where they had gone wrong, months of court dates and family counseling, and screwed up systems that threw him back into it based on complete lies once he had gotten out. It can be hard on the siblings. Often we're the ignored ones, yet sometimes we're the ones who are affected the worst.
posted by
tigerprincess
on May 18, 2005 at 3:20 PM
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vibrance,
you made me laugh...
posted by
Julia.
on May 18, 2005 at 2:46 PM
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katray,
You're absolutely right, it's not all negative...
posted by
Julia.
on May 18, 2005 at 2:45 PM
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Jemmie,
Yeah, I know, no one can escape it...try as we might!
posted by
Julia.
on May 18, 2005 at 2:32 PM
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Elan, thank you for reading.
posted by
Julia.
on May 18, 2005 at 2:31 PM
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sometimes
shit happens. We are all fucked up. So yes, we understand. Love, Vib
posted by
Vibrance
on May 18, 2005 at 9:29 AM
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Ah Quirky, I remember this post too..
and the emotions evoked. I think it would be impossible for a tragedy of this scope not to have permanent effects, but as a person who believes everything happens for a reason, I feel perhaps there are some positives involved? Your strength of heart and soul has been revealed, you have a unique perspective on matters that impact society as a whole and your sense of compassion toward others has been highly developed. We are all messed up to some degree, but I think by opening up and sharing, we begin the process of healing and building new paths of hope. Thoughts and Hugs sent.
posted by
Katray2
on May 18, 2005 at 5:45 AM
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Quirky
To paraphrase what I once said in an email (about dysfunctional families, I believe): We're
all fucked up somehow!
posted by
Jemmie211
on May 18, 2005 at 12:28 AM
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It must have been tough... very tough..
God Bless you!
posted by
Elan27
on May 18, 2005 at 12:13 AM
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MayB,
Okay...suggestions are always welcome.
posted by
Julia.
on May 17, 2005 at 10:43 PM
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Alf,
No I didn't doubt your infinite wisdom...I'm just one of those who needs to see it for herself before she can wholly embrace the truth.
posted by
Julia.
on May 17, 2005 at 10:41 PM
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QuirkyAlone, I think that sounds like a good plan. I am going to email you another thought I have.
posted by
Azur
on May 17, 2005 at 10:35 PM
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Quirky....
So what are you saying? That you actually doubted me for a moment? Me, and the infinite wisdom that has led the people of my village to refer to me as "the oracle"? I am truly shocked and amazed!! I thought you were just kidding about not believing me, sheesh!
It's OK though, I forgive you. Now go child...and sin no more. Forever carry the knowkedge within you that the ALF speaks only truth!
(was I humble enough?)
posted by
A_Norseman
on May 17, 2005 at 10:27 PM
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Alf,
I googled it, so as much as it pains me to admit you are right...you are!!
posted by
Julia.
on May 17, 2005 at 10:22 PM
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MayB,
I'm actually going to talk to her about it next week, when I go for a visit. So, I'll see how she feels. It would be a bit different to have me writing something than what is always still in the newspapers after all these years.
posted by
Julia.
on May 17, 2005 at 10:20 PM
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Quirky...
Yes...I'm quite sure I think, that that is the other half of that saying........Otherwise would it ever have become the lyrics of a country song? There! That's my proof.
posted by
A_Norseman
on May 17, 2005 at 10:17 PM
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QuirkyAlone, I can't advise on that but even if there has yours would still be very different. I say go for it and see what works for you. And maybe given all your mother had to endure all those years this might not trouble her as much as you think. I don't know of course but it's possible
posted by
Azur
on May 17, 2005 at 9:32 PM
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MayB,
If I wrote it, it would definitely be with the intention of doing something with it other than just stick it in a drawer. I have even thought that I could create a fictional novel around it...has there ever been a novel with this perspective? I can't think of one.
posted by
Julia.
on May 17, 2005 at 8:22 PM
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Alf,
Are you sure?? I have heard the "time heals all wounds" part...but not the mice or men part. I better go google that, huh.
posted by
Julia.
on May 17, 2005 at 8:11 PM
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There is nothing to be lost by writing it now-- if you want to. The big decision will be whether you do something with it either now or in the future.
posted by
Azur
on May 17, 2005 at 6:41 PM
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Quirkey...
"Time heals all wounds in mice and men" Is a famous quote from somewhere. Lot of truth to it too.
posted by
A_Norseman
on May 17, 2005 at 6:39 PM
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Ms N--
Seasoned...yes, for sure!
posted by
Julia.
on May 17, 2005 at 6:33 PM
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MayB,
Yes I think about writing it all the time. I wonder if perhaps I am waiting until my dear, sweet mom is not alive, because I fear hurting her by talking about it...I don't know.
posted by
Julia.
on May 17, 2005 at 6:32 PM
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FactorFiction,
Thank you. My mother definitely had it worse, it was her child after all. And even though she was absolutely not to blame, a mother does not really ever get over something like that.
posted by
Julia.
on May 17, 2005 at 6:30 PM
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Hollee,
Thanks for the nice comment.
posted by
Julia.
on May 17, 2005 at 6:27 PM
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Alf,
I haven't given up on learning to trust, but it's a daily struggle. As for time healing all wounds in mice, I have never heard that before, lol.
posted by
Julia.
on May 17, 2005 at 6:26 PM
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renigade,
yeah, that would be pretty bad to deal with, esp. at nine...I guess everyone has something that life throws at them. It's all a matter of degrees.
posted by
Julia.
on May 17, 2005 at 6:21 PM
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Merry,
Ah, I wish that I could truly believe that.
posted by
Julia.
on May 17, 2005 at 6:19 PM
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Queen,
I really like how you put that, about the colors changing and not being all "rainbow." Isn't that the truth.
posted by
Julia.
on May 17, 2005 at 6:19 PM
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Jemmie,
Am too!!
posted by
Julia.
on May 17, 2005 at 6:17 PM
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symphony,
love the smileys, thank you, you are very sweet.
posted by
Julia.
on May 17, 2005 at 6:16 PM
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ginnie,
sorry, I guess it is a bit shocking to read something like this. I can't say that I have learned to trust, but I guess each day, each year, I make strides, do what I can do.
posted by
Julia.
on May 17, 2005 at 6:15 PM
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Ariala,
Thanks for the roses, and for being a good friend.
posted by
Julia.
on May 17, 2005 at 6:13 PM
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Oh Quirks!
How perfectly horrible for you and your family. You are not fucked up - girl - you are seasoned!
posted by
Transcendental_Child
on May 17, 2005 at 5:03 PM
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I had not forgotten this from when you first wrote about it on Blogit. How could anyone who read this forget? And yet as powerful and poignant as it is, in no way does if define my opinion of you. I mean that from the bottom of my heart.
Have you ever considered writing about it in a longer form? Of course there would be a lot to weigh up about doing that --the reaction here gives some indication perhaps
posted by
Azur
on May 17, 2005 at 2:26 PM
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Quirky, you are an amazing woman
I cannot imagine the pain you or you mom experience(d.) That has to be one of a mother's worst nightmares. And to be 15 when it all went down... a very hard road.
Peace to you
Dawn
posted by
FactorFiction
on May 17, 2005 at 1:30 PM
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Quirk - whoever said what doesn't kill us makes us stronger probably
had not expereinced what you went through--or was one of those glass half-full people. Even an optimist would have had a hard time in this situation. It seems to have made you strong--maybe I'm wrong (I didn't mean to rhyme--honestly)--
posted by
Hollee
on May 17, 2005 at 1:19 PM
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Quirky...
being "fucked up" is a very broad, general, and relative term. Like the other commenter stated we all have different stages of fucked up-edness. You do have a life experience that is very unique compared to most. I suppose you could say that makes you "fucked up", or you could say it makes you special. I say it makes you special because of the extra insight, and sensitivity that it has surely given you into another dimension of humanity. The part about not being able to trust people is unfortunate, but don't give up on it being correctable...they say that time heals all wounds in mice and men, the only way to know for sure is to wait and see.
posted by
A_Norseman
on May 17, 2005 at 12:59 PM
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Kinda like finding out (at age nine) that your dad is going to jail
because he likes molesting little girls. Like Merry said, we're all fucked up.
Face it, we're the ones who give other people something to talk about.
posted by
Renigade
on May 17, 2005 at 12:24 PM
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Quirky,
you are no more or less fucked up than the rest of us. You just express it better. Hang in there sweet-pea.
posted by
MerryAnne
on May 17, 2005 at 12:10 PM
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YOU DON'T SOUND
'so fucked up.' You write extremely well of this traumatic time......it must create some outlet..........for you. Oddly enough I understand you...........Not the same situation at all, but I've survived the colors of my world changing and not rainbow colors either. The world tipping on it's head and never regaining my balance. Sooooo, you are not alone and please know there are others today reading what you have written and identifying........feeling not so all alone anymore themselves. Thank you.
posted by
ALWAYSALOVER
on May 17, 2005 at 11:46 AM
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*hugs*
You are not fucked up.
posted by
Jemmie211
on May 17, 2005 at 11:26 AM
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posted by
_Symphony_
on May 17, 2005 at 11:25 AM
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Oh Quirky..
..I'm so sorry for the pain you have suffered and continue to feel. This is an incredibly powerful post; I am sitting here, in shock, at a loss for words. I hope you have learned to trust again. The trauma you have been through is overwhelming.
posted by
ginnieb
on May 17, 2005 at 11:17 AM
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posted by
Ariala
on May 17, 2005 at 10:53 AM
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