Go to I WRITE, THEREFORE I AM
- Add a comment
- Go to Evil lurks in all human beings...Who is to "blame" when it surfaces??
Alf,
No of course the parents should not carry that burden of guilt...but I think it is quite common that they do.
posted by
Julia.
on May 9, 2005 at 3:28 PM
| link to this | reply
Ca88,
Your Mom did that in front of you??? That's not too cool...it would cause me to have serious issues...
posted by
Julia.
on May 9, 2005 at 3:03 PM
| link to this | reply
Elan,
I think sometimes Mothers (and Fathers) ARE to blame...but in many, many cases NO ONE is to blame...
posted by
Julia.
on May 9, 2005 at 3:01 PM
| link to this | reply
jimmy68,
yes, exactly! Tanks for your great comment. Your last line sums it up perfectly.
posted by
Julia.
on May 9, 2005 at 2:00 PM
| link to this | reply
Quirky...
This is a great post, similiar in mine sort of, especially the last part. Wondering what would have happened if we had different moms. I hope she is able to let go of the wonder, with regard to your brother. As a parent myself I know every mistake my kids make causes me to wonder as well, if it were my fault in some way. I also take the credit for some of their triumphs. Whether I deserve to or not.
There is a reason for evil behavior. There is a reason for everything. But if my child does something stupid and I am not stupid nor did I teach them the stupid behavior then I can not take responsibility for it. In the same way, if a parent is not evil, they should not carry the blame for their children. I just watched a show about Jeffry Dalmer. He had very normal, loving, well adjusted parents and home life and yet.....
posted by
A_Norseman
on May 9, 2005 at 1:07 PM
| link to this | reply
My mother used to wring her hands and wonder where she went wrong with me. All that did was made me feel guilty most of my life for wanting to live my own life. I hope I've learnt from that because I just love my boys no matter what mistakes they make.
posted by
Ca88andra
on May 9, 2005 at 5:59 AM
| link to this | reply
Hey..
I agree with what u say.. Mothers take the blame though but they r not to be blamed..4 nething.... They r the ones who want the best for all of us.. n thats what they do, all their lives, 'live for their children'!! I love my mother, n she is the best gift on earth God ahs given me..... :)
posted by
Elan27
on May 9, 2005 at 3:45 AM
| link to this | reply
Sometimes Evil just is....
it springs into being full blown, without warning, in any family...that is the truly terrifying thing. Everybody wants a reason for the unreasonable, sometimes there isn't one...
posted by
jimmy68
on May 9, 2005 at 12:05 AM
| link to this | reply
MayB--
You digress?
posted by
Julia.
on May 8, 2005 at 10:25 PM
| link to this | reply
Isa, Yes, that's true...
but some Moms are "more perfect" than others!
posted by
Julia.
on May 8, 2005 at 10:24 PM
| link to this | reply
probably both
posted by
Azur
on May 8, 2005 at 9:36 PM
| link to this | reply
A perfect mom...
doesn't exist...we all do our best with our kids...i think parents shall accept the idea that we all have failures, particularly when it comes to educating kids..
posted by
Marshallengraved
on May 8, 2005 at 9:35 PM
| link to this | reply
anthony1wiley,
thanks for the beautiful comment.
posted by
Julia.
on May 8, 2005 at 9:30 PM
| link to this | reply
Jemmie, thanks.
posted by
Julia.
on May 8, 2005 at 9:27 PM
| link to this | reply
QuirkyAlone
Lovely tribute to your mum luv. Of course we are all responsible for
our own actions in life, just as your brother was. Mum did her job, raised a jewel that blogs here luv. Have a happy week
posted by
WileyJohn
on May 8, 2005 at 9:26 PM
| link to this | reply
Quirky
I emailed you my response.
posted by
Jemmie211
on May 8, 2005 at 8:50 PM
| link to this | reply
Mysteria,
that sounds familiar, but I'm not sure if I did see it.
posted by
Julia.
on May 8, 2005 at 7:23 PM
| link to this | reply
jemmie,
well, I suppose all eight are not essential, but some of them definitely are, imho...and if she had followed some of them, would you be talking to her now? Just curious.
posted by
Julia.
on May 8, 2005 at 7:22 PM
| link to this | reply
MayB,
first, thanks for the compliment. Second, don't you mean "disagree"?? Not that I don't digress from time to time, but that is something entirely different!!
posted by
Julia.
on May 8, 2005 at 7:12 PM
| link to this | reply
mary x,
poor MayB...being compared to the likes of ME...lol!
posted by
Julia.
on May 8, 2005 at 7:10 PM
| link to this | reply
doigotta,
thank you for coming by tonight.
posted by
Julia.
on May 8, 2005 at 7:09 PM
| link to this | reply
"Evil just is." I believe that. Just like Sharon Stone's line in Basic Instinct: "Men lie, they just do." It pretty much seems to boil down to that, in my mind anyway.
posted by
Blanche.
on May 8, 2005 at 7:07 PM
| link to this | reply
Did you ever see the movie the bad seed?
Real creepy but very descriptive in showing that evil just is. Thanks Quirky
posted by
mysteria
on May 8, 2005 at 7:05 PM
| link to this | reply
Not to dog on my mother, but she didn't follow those 8 qualities
And I still think I turned out pretty okay. And aside from the fact that I won't talk to my mother, I think she's pretty damn pround of me.
posted by
Jemmie211
on May 8, 2005 at 6:42 PM
| link to this | reply
Whew, I'm glad to hear that, since there seems to have been a few losses lately.
posted by
Blanche.
on May 8, 2005 at 6:40 PM
| link to this | reply
Mary x, No we are not the same Quirky and me digress (politely) often
posted by
Azur
on May 8, 2005 at 6:36 PM
| link to this | reply
No chance of that Q--we are very different.
Nice post by the way. My mothers' day post is not so deep
posted by
Azur
on May 8, 2005 at 6:34 PM
| link to this | reply
Quirky,
LOL, are you really MayB? We seem to have multiple personalities here on Blogit.
posted by
Blanche.
on May 8, 2005 at 6:32 PM
| link to this | reply
insightful post.
posted by
doigotta
on May 8, 2005 at 6:24 PM
| link to this | reply
Mary x,
Great! Now you'll have the rumor-mongers convinced that MayB and I are the same blogger! lol.
posted by
Julia.
on May 8, 2005 at 6:16 PM
| link to this | reply
Woops, I meant, Quirky
I did really know I meant.
posted by
Blanche.
on May 8, 2005 at 5:36 PM
| link to this | reply
Mayb,
I don't know, but somehow it seems to fit. Maybe a soldier at war? A tourist?
posted by
Blanche.
on May 8, 2005 at 5:35 PM
| link to this | reply
mary, lol.
I wonder who first said that phrase??
posted by
Julia.
on May 8, 2005 at 5:24 PM
| link to this | reply
Thank you, Quirky, I'm having a quiet day, nothing to write home about, or, rather, I haven't thought of anything yet.
posted by
Blanche.
on May 8, 2005 at 5:20 PM
| link to this | reply
Mary x, thanks.
Hope you're having a good day!
posted by
Julia.
on May 8, 2005 at 5:18 PM
| link to this | reply
katray,
I echo Ginnie's words, thank you for leaving such a wonderful comment. And re: the book, perhaps I should take orders in advance, that could help me sell the idea to a publisher?
posted by
Julia.
on May 8, 2005 at 5:16 PM
| link to this | reply
ginnieb, thank you.
I wish it were enough as well. I'm sure it helps her, but as you illustrated with the story about your Grandmother, self-forgiveness is not always possible, even when there is nothing that needs forgiving.
posted by
Julia.
on May 8, 2005 at 5:14 PM
| link to this | reply
Thank You Ginnie!
posted by
Katray2
on May 8, 2005 at 5:14 PM
| link to this | reply
Katray...
...I just had to comment....I love your comment left here! :)
posted by
ginnieb
on May 8, 2005 at 5:07 PM
| link to this | reply
Beautifully said, Quirky
posted by
Blanche.
on May 8, 2005 at 4:57 PM
| link to this | reply
Very powerful and lovely Quirky
Motherhood is the best and sometimes worst of life. I ride the waves of supreme happiness, drowning despair and weary acceptance into gentle peace. That often is short-lived, lol. I just returned from a nice dinner out with my three angels and it was heavenly. Two of my kids have recently had disastrous upheavals in school, jobs and relationships and of course I've been worried about them. Today, everybody was fairly content with their lives, glad to be together and sharing the spirit of family. Today is Good!
Your mother sounds like a wonderful woman who's been handed a most heartbreaking tragedy. You are both lucky to have each other .
p.s. - When your book is published, reserve a copy for me!
posted by
Katray2
on May 8, 2005 at 4:50 PM
| link to this | reply
How poignant Quirky...
...a friend once said to me "I don't think mothers should either blame themselves when their children do wrong or praise themselves when they do good". I'm not sure I agree with this statement but I don't believe your poor mother should blame herself for whatever happened in your brother's life. My Grandmother's son committed suicide and she was so haunted by the fact it was his fault that her final words, at the age of 91 had to do with the blame she felt. That is all too sad. Your Mom knows you love her...I wish for her that was enough.
posted by
ginnieb
on May 8, 2005 at 4:37 PM
| link to this | reply
word.smith,
I am sure that he will. Happy Mother's Day to you!
posted by
Julia.
on May 8, 2005 at 3:01 PM
| link to this | reply
I'm trying to be a good mother to my son.
Experience teaches wisdom for I now see the mistakes my mother made with me and which I sometimes now make with my son. I try to make adjustments and amends when I make mistakes and hope that someday my son will think about me with just these sentiments you've expressed in your tribute to your mom.
posted by
word.smith
on May 8, 2005 at 2:27 PM
| link to this | reply
thank you butterflygal.
To answer your question, yes I think about writing a book all the time. I haven't done more than think about it, but perhaps the time is not yet right to write.
posted by
Julia.
on May 8, 2005 at 2:07 PM
| link to this | reply
butterfly gal flying by
Have you thought about turning this into a book. It has a wonderful empathy that people would relate too. Truly wonderful.
posted by
butterflygal
on May 8, 2005 at 1:30 PM
| link to this | reply