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Argus,
Thanks for your interesting comment.
posted by
Julia.
on December 4, 2004 at 5:36 PM
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Jemmie,
You're very lucky then.
posted by
Julia.
on December 4, 2004 at 5:34 PM
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thank you beachbelle.
posted by
Julia.
on December 4, 2004 at 5:34 PM
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Technology and culture determine semantic space
For some people their virtual online experiences and "interpersonal interactions" are more: important, interesting, pleasurable, satisfying than their real life ones. That makes the concept of friendship somewhat treacherous in our technological age; after all blogit may just be a super-computer generating comments and emails according to its internal program.
Secondly, the terms 'friend' and 'acquaintance' in English (especially American English) are much closer together than they are say in German, where their equivalents, 'freund' and 'bekannter' are miles apart, a 'freund' being someone you might lay down your life for. In US culture, "friendship" is established sometimes in the first 10 minutes, as in "Bring my friend and me, a couple of beers" , but only means 'acquaintance.'
posted by
ARGUS
on December 4, 2004 at 4:36 PM
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I certainly have true friends here!
They know who they are. They're the ones who have placed trust in me and have earned my own trust. They're the ones who were one the phone with me when I was at my lowest and whom I'd be with on the phone (or in person if I could) in their times of need. They're the ones I think of during the day when the tiniest thing pops up to remind me of them. Sure, I haven't met them in person, but I've spoken to them at length. I know they are wonderful people, and I cherish them.
And I know they cherish me.
posted by
Jemmie211
on December 4, 2004 at 4:31 AM
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QuirkyAlone
This was a shallow test of friendship. If something happened and you were in a bad way then you would find out who your friends are. I would try to help you without hesitation. Hopefully you will never need to put that to the test.
posted by
beachbelle
on December 3, 2004 at 10:06 PM
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word.smith, lol.
I hope you don't either...or you can cross them off your "friend" list, hehe.
posted by
Julia.
on December 3, 2004 at 5:44 PM
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Alf,
Please, please forgive me!! (in advance-hehehe.)
Great comment, btw.
posted by
Julia.
on December 3, 2004 at 5:43 PM
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unicorn, yes, that's very true.
posted by
Julia.
on December 3, 2004 at 5:41 PM
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Quirky.
I don't usually read the comments before I make my own, but it's been an interesting excercise. We all have varied expectations - that's clear - based on our character and life experiences. I think I've come to realize that people come and go around here a lot and not too many give a heck when anyone disappears. I expect I would be missed, but as David said life goes on. BTW, your post sent me on a "where did you go?" email spree that I've been putting off. I hope I don't get told to mind my own beeswax.
posted by
word.smith
on December 3, 2004 at 4:39 PM
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Quirky...
You have a lot of good comments here that show everyone percieves the friendship thing a little differently, or at least goes about it differently. I have many, many, many aquaintances who regard me as their friend. I however, can count who I consider friends on my hands, with a couple fingers left over. It's not because I am "unfriendly", or don't like having friends, it's just my way. Of the many aquanitances who consider me their friend, I have zero expectations, therefore these people will never dissapoint me. The few who I consider friends, I know them well enough to forgive them when they do dissapoint me. In a way, considering them as friends is like planned dissapointment. People by nature are flawed creations meaning they are not perfect, everyone will let you down some time, by some degree. I just decide who will be able to dissapoint me, I forgive them in advance.
posted by
A_Norseman
on December 3, 2004 at 4:26 PM
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Quirky, I know what you mean by it not starting out that way
I had what I assumed to be "friends" here, but that can change in a heartbeat and the true colors can be displayed, or I should say, in my case.
posted by
PastorB
on December 3, 2004 at 3:24 PM
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David,
Um...you're welcome?
So THAT'S why my computer exploded and sent shrapnel into the cat's fur!
posted by
Julia.
on December 3, 2004 at 1:01 PM
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Just to clarify the last comment
soike = spiked. Thank you
id's dis guddomn keybored, or my English!
posted by
David1Spirit
on December 3, 2004 at 1:00 PM
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Quirky
Yes, you gave me your permission. And I also did soike your drink, so to speak. I'll explain:
Yesterday you sent me an email. I replied but added the "memory reduction" virus, thus making any email contact between us disappear from your memory banks. Your follow-up email told me what your plans for today's post would be. Then I replied yet again (adding a heavier dose of the virus) getting your unconditional permission to use your name and reference your blog!
You don't remember? Good, then I now know for sure that my virus works! Thank you for participating! 
posted by
David1Spirit
on December 3, 2004 at 12:57 PM
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David,
Hmmm. I don't remember signing anything...did you put something into my drink?
posted by
Julia.
on December 3, 2004 at 12:50 PM
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chris,
well gee whiz, it looks like your mum was right about one thing, anyway! 
BTW, that IS my middle name.
posted by
Julia.
on December 3, 2004 at 12:49 PM
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Klara,
Back away from the coin...now! LOL!
posted by
Julia.
on December 3, 2004 at 12:48 PM
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unicorn,
neither did I but it evolved into that...but I guess I may be a naive little quirkster.
posted by
Julia.
on December 3, 2004 at 12:48 PM
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Quirky
Just want to thank you in advance for "lending" me your name and your post as inspiration for my own post today!
posted by
David1Spirit
on December 3, 2004 at 10:41 AM
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Quirkyalone
I'd like to be your friend but my mum said you look like trouble. haha
posted by
chris2303
on December 3, 2004 at 10:37 AM
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Quirks, tell me, though, can I stop flipping this coin now???
posted by
KlaraRoberts
on December 3, 2004 at 9:24 AM
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Quirk, sadly I've discovered that I have no "true" friends here
there are fair weather friends and friends of "convenience". But I didn't come in to this thinking that I would make a life long true friend out of it, so I'm not really too surprised.
posted by
PastorB
on December 3, 2004 at 9:19 AM
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Klara,
ROFLMAOKTCINW*
(rolling on the floor laughing my ass off kicking the cat into next week!)
just kidding, I love my kitties!
posted by
Julia.
on December 3, 2004 at 9:11 AM
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I don't know, Quirky. How long would be too long? How anal is too anal?
I'm obsessing about this even now, the question on all this! LOL
posted by
KlaraRoberts
on December 3, 2004 at 9:01 AM
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Klara--how long would it take?? lol.
posted by
Julia.
on December 3, 2004 at 8:53 AM
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Yeah, well, if you had stayed away longer, I would've been done tossing
and I might have actually taken action by then. LOL
posted by
KlaraRoberts
on December 3, 2004 at 8:45 AM
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Klara...
that poor little coin!!
posted by
Julia.
on December 3, 2004 at 8:43 AM
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It really is just the truth, though, Quirks! LOL
Knowing me as you do, you know all about the anal/retentive traits I have. Therefore, even though I noticed your abscence, I kept "flipping that coin" about whether to intrude or not, and decided to play it "anally safe". LOL
posted by
KlaraRoberts
on December 3, 2004 at 8:36 AM
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klara, lol and thanks!
Your comment was great, esp. the last part.
posted by
Julia.
on December 3, 2004 at 8:28 AM
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scoop,
I agree with your statement, BUT I don't think "insecurity" and "ego boosting" have anything at all to do with having--or not having-- "true" friends on Blogit.
posted by
Julia.
on December 3, 2004 at 8:26 AM
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I, personally, "measure" how far someone wants me to take something,
or how far they don't, Quirks. In friendships, I also proceed cautiously. For me, it goes like this, and I expect the progression to be as such: 1. We email and establish common ground and respect and concern for each other. 2. We follow up by revealing a great deal of our lives to each other via phone. 3. I then judge by these contacts whether or not the person wants more follow up or less.
Many people don't want follow up, even on here. This is their personal choice. I agree with them, too, as if something is drastically wrong, they don't want it publicly debated. I vanished for two weeks in the summer. Didn't post at all, and no one noticed or questioned. I was fine with that. I didn't post I was going and I didn't post an "I'm back". Didn't mean I didn't take up with the people again once I came back on. I just don't need a whole lot of follow up I guess. Others do, but when I don't reach step 2 or 3, I can't be sure.
I do have friends on here now, and initially when I came on, I didn't think that would ever be the case. I do adore you and consider you one too, but have not reached the next level I need to judge correctly yet.
You know how anal I am.
posted by
KlaraRoberts
on December 3, 2004 at 8:25 AM
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scriber,
you are nothing if not always entertaining.
posted by
Julia.
on December 3, 2004 at 8:21 AM
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HolyGrail,
I didn't mean to imply that I didn't appreciate your answer or comment...far from it!! I feel that way about people here, too...that in the real world, face to face, there are many I might become friends with.
posted by
Julia.
on December 3, 2004 at 8:20 AM
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gypsy,
I'm all for forgiving people who own up...I did with two of the four and we are still "friends"...but what about the two I thought I was
particularly close with, who I still have not heard from? Well, I've forgiven them as well, but do I want to call them my "friend"?--not really.
posted by
Julia.
on December 3, 2004 at 8:18 AM
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I think one thing that differs on here is that some writers are
tough as nails and don't care what others think, and could care less if anyone missed them and then on the other end of the scale we have very insecure writers who I think come here for friendship and to have their self-esteem boosted. But I think the majority are in the middle range here.
posted by
scoop
on December 3, 2004 at 8:15 AM
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Well that's how I answered it. That is how I feel about certain people on Blogit who I seem to get along well with and with whom I have a lot in common. Sorry, just thought I'd give my own perspective. Oh well.
posted by
Holy_Grail
on December 3, 2004 at 8:14 AM
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Ariala, thanks.
But even if you didn't feel like being bothered, wouldn't you really still want them to make a quick inquiry??
posted by
Julia.
on December 3, 2004 at 8:14 AM
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P.S. I am questioned about my health if I'm a few
minutes late posting.
posted by
scriber
on December 3, 2004 at 8:13 AM
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David,
I am inclined to think you are absolutely correct, and it saddens me. If I had an icon for "bubble bursting" I would insert that here:
posted by
Julia.
on December 3, 2004 at 8:13 AM
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Wuirk--I thought you were blogging with your other name.
Letting this one slide.
posted by
scriber
on December 3, 2004 at 8:10 AM
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Inns,
I understand that perfectly. Social relationships are apparently not my strong suit, either.
posted by
Julia.
on December 3, 2004 at 8:10 AM
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Quirky,
Right now I say I have potential friends. But come on, even in the real world we don't have friends that call us every day. I also don't wait and see if my friends call me. I call them since the phone/email works both ways. I understand you felt neglected and hurt that more people didn't check to see if you were "ok". But I also saw the same people rally and apologize for your hurt feelings. Friends make mistakes and friends forgive.
posted by
RedHeadedGypsy
on December 3, 2004 at 8:10 AM
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Quirky, like I said, I would feel the same way...it's a good question. I
have made some good friends here and it would be a bit disheartening if no one wrote to see where I had vanished to. Sometimes, though, like innkeepersdaughter, I don't want to be bothered. I guess I have my cycles...
posted by
Ariala
on December 3, 2004 at 8:09 AM
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HolyGrail,
I'm mostly wanting to know about "within the confines of Blogit" as opposed to meeting someone in the real world. What would you expect of those who called you a "true" friend??
posted by
Julia.
on December 3, 2004 at 8:09 AM
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No "true" friends here Quirky
Most of us are friendly, and we get along pretty well. When we need advice or a shoulder, we usually will get that from our blogging buddies.
Oh, and we'll get plenty of the " I love you....you are wonderful....I'll be there for you...if you ever need a friend, just call......and that kind of stuff!
But realistically, it ain't gonna happen. If one of us leaves, in 2 weeks he or she will be nothing more than a pleasant memory.
That's just the way it is! Life goes on!
posted by
David1Spirit
on December 3, 2004 at 8:07 AM
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Ariala,
Do you really think I am, being tough, that is?? I just feel how I feel, and honestly have no idea if others would feel the same way or not, so that's why I asked all the questions.
posted by
Julia.
on December 3, 2004 at 8:07 AM
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Quirkyalone...
I feel the exact opposite. I am a writer who wants people to read me but not bother with me...I do not deal well with people. 
posted by
theinnkeepersdaughter
on December 3, 2004 at 8:06 AM
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If you're really asking us the question in your subject, I'll answer. For me personally, I would say that I have some very friendly acquaintances who I believe I would hit it off with if we ever actually met.
posted by
Holy_Grail
on December 3, 2004 at 8:05 AM
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Quirks, you're tough on us, lady...but I would feel the same way.
posted by
Ariala
on December 3, 2004 at 8:00 AM
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