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Call and ask your doctor if they would prescribe another month of physical therapy. It's almost the end of the insurance year and it wouldn't cost you much. Just add one little walk at lunch for ten minutes take a lap around the building three days a week.You are marvelously strong and can do it
posted by
the-loanlady
on November 1, 2004 at 10:02 AM
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Oh, Angelz,
I'm sorry to hear of your problems. I gained almost 50 pounds after my last surgery, too. I'm not sure why. After the first surgery, I lost a little weight, and was more active. After the second, the physical therapist released me very quickly. I felt I needed more time to build up stamin and strength, but she said I was at the proper stage, so what could I do? The result was I went back to work a month sooner than the first time, and when I work I do not seem to lose weight. I sit all day. I do the extra little things, walk around more, and so on, but the truth is they pay me to sit at the computer. Plus, I don't get home until 6 or 6:30 p.m., usually too tired for exercise (that is an excuse, not a reason). Getting out in the morning is not feasible because of sleep problems, Anyway, the problem as I see it is that I was too inactive for too long, and now it is unbelievably hard to overcome being "extremely deconditioned" (translate, unable to do much of anything for almost 4 years).
I'm not giving up, though. I feel it is just a little beyond my grasp. If I work just a little harder (and in my heart, I know the truth: I haven't worked all that hard), I will turn the corner, hit the milestone, whatever it is, and be on the path to better strength and stamina. I think of that as I haul it all up the two flights of stairs at work every weekday. It is getting easier by a tiny bit. There is hope for us. 
posted by
Witchflower
on October 31, 2004 at 8:26 PM
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WitchFlower~~~
It is true what you say about others making comments ..
My sons have been making fun of me every since my surgery .. I have been gaining weight each month as they go by , I am becoming less active due to not being able to do the things I did before , like a fair exercise.
I do wonder why he feels he has to comment on it , the very fact that yes , I am fat and I can't really get around like I used to ... I have gained almost 50 extra pounds since my surgery in January.
Another ... letting kids know that comments like that are not called for .. I always tell my kids ...." What if you were in this postion... (Mine) How would you feel if you kept hearing everyone say things to you , or about you. " now they hold their tongues , knowing .. it might hurt someone. although .. they are older in age now. They will now be the one to say nothing of bad, I tell them if they can't say anything good... or useful, don't say anything to harm anyone/ or to judge. I am not sure where I'm getting at .. other than .. I don't like to be ridiculed / judged by the my pounds I have. What I have .. Is not by choice!
posted by
ANGELZ_MIND
on October 31, 2004 at 7:27 AM
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Thank you, loan lady.
Your son is a very special person. He has courage and perception, both of which will help him move about in the world as a sensitive person. Just curious: Where was the playground aid when those bigger boys were bullying and harassing the little girl? (rhetorical question)
In response to your last comment, I should have said in my post that I do appreciate parents who teach their children real values. It gives one hope for the future. Thanks for pointing that out, and a Happy Halloween to you.
posted by
Witchflower
on October 30, 2004 at 6:00 PM
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Your strenght is amazing to have the ability to let it wash off like a duck.
My son (who has had a difficult young life) has an empathetic quality. Last year the principal called that he had been in a fight- which was surprising. I learned he was defending Kimberly who is a small first grader with a coclear (spelling?) implants in both ears - a hearing aid that comes out of the side of the skull and allows a deaf child to hear some sounds. The teacher explained that the girl's hair was shaved around the new implants and tried to make it easy for Kimberly. Some older boys at recess circled her and were calling her Frankenstien.My son first told them to stop then yelled at the boys and finally took his fist to two of the third grade boys ( he was 1st grade). When I got to the office my son was in tears himself with a bloody nose, he apologized for fighting " but nobody is going to hurt my friends Mom". I didn't punish him for fighting.. At parent conferences the teacher told me she wished the playground aid had not sent him to the office as he is kind and sensitive. It is easy to teach children to put themself in someone else's shoes, it takes practice. At least the Mother in your situation was trying to teach her son respect of others even if her delivery was not so great. Have a Happy Halloween!
posted by
the-loanlady
on October 29, 2004 at 12:00 PM
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Welcome to the jungle, Msaries.
I love the "earth suit" idea. And I LOVE Jeopardy! Today is my get-off-work-early day (compressed schedule), and I'm going home soon to watch Ken Jennings on yet another show.
posted by
Witchflower
on October 29, 2004 at 10:51 AM
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People can be so insensitive to those who are different.
I'm obese...there, I've said it. However, I'm hard-working, intelligent, and compassionate to others. We should look at the inner person instead of the physical attributes. After all, our body is just our "earth suit."
posted by
msaries
on October 29, 2004 at 7:57 AM
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Outstanding!
What happened to your bed sheets (comments)? That's wonderful, although the humor with which you handled the situation was great. I was almost looking forward to seeing them. Thanks for reading.
posted by
Witchflower
on October 29, 2004 at 7:39 AM
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Witchflower
I love your attitude. Wonderful. I was a tiny size 4 for all my adult life until about 45 then I began to grow, not upward. I had medical problems too. I was made so acutely aware of how differently people in general, the adults not children, treated me. It was totally amazing. I am with you, I like me. I earned all my wrinkles, I am a great cook, I ate all my extra pounds, my husband loves me and my grandson thinks I am the prettiest Gangan in town. I want to loose weight, but it is a battle. I am still little inside, I can see that. Thank you so much for posting this. LOOK FRIEND NO BED SHEET SIZE COMMENTS!
posted by
Justi
on October 29, 2004 at 6:50 AM
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Witchflower...
As a mother who once had to convince a four-year-old that people with dark skin were not made out of chocolate, I can sympathize with the mother. On the other hand, as someone who accompanied her mother, who was hooked up to a portable oxygen tank, and witnessed the varying degrees of discomfort or curiousity that the machine evoked from children I can empathize with you. I do think that the mother could have handled it a bit better and I'll bet she wishes the same thing. I hate getting caught off guard by my kids because quite frankly, I am not smart enough to come up with intelligent, sensitive explanations on the spur of the moment. So what I usually do is what you said, talk about it later and try to get them to focus on the person inside in the meantime. A nice person is a nice person whether they are overweight, short, nearsighted or a different skin colour. The rest of the stuff can be hashed out later.
posted by
theinnkeepersdaughter
on October 26, 2004 at 2:27 PM
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You seem to have a
good attitude, that goes a long way. My brother is a performer, a singer. Has to be up in front of people all the time, and he jokes a lot, uses humor before other people have the chance to, so they just think he is "jolly". I know him though, and I can tell sometimes when he wants to die, and it breaks my heart. Luckily he can blow like Pavarati and that helps a little.
posted by
A_Norseman
on October 25, 2004 at 11:44 PM
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I agree.
Thank you for your comments. Happily, adults have not made comments, at least not that I've heard. I guess my response would be something like, "Well, you're right aren't you? You must be so quick, to observe what no one else has seen." Being overweight is one condition that can't be hidden. You can wear a certain style of clothing, wear black, drape a scarf, whatever, it is still there for everyone to see, so why worry what people think? But then, thankfully, I'm not job or partner hunting, so maybe I can afford to be relaxed.
posted by
Witchflower
on October 25, 2004 at 11:40 PM
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Witchflower,
I was touched by your story. Both my sister and my brother are overweight, my daughter battles with it too. We are a very close family and everytime they were hurt by a comment, I was hurt also. Some people are so thoughtless, I think they don't even realize their comments are out of line and it infuriates me. I get madder about it than my brother does I think. With regard to children though. Their comments are usually innocent like you said. My kids said embarrassing things when they were little and what I would usually do is exchange a knowing sort of apologetic glance with the person they made it about, but I wouldn't say anything to the child until we were alone. In my opinion, any other course of action just draws more attention to the person and whatever the comment was made about. Comments from adults are not innocent however, and I let them know what I think on the spot. Good post, thank you.
posted by
A_Norseman
on October 25, 2004 at 11:29 PM
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You're right, Wolfie
It just seemed too big an issue for such a little guy. Oops, there's a bad pun if I ever saw one. On my side, I guess I don't think of myself as big any more than I think of myself as old, yet 61 cannot pretend to be anything but. I often forget those two things when dealing with people. It was an odd moment. Thanks for reading. I have a calendar of your pinups at work! Wolf pics, that is.
posted by
Witchflower
on October 25, 2004 at 11:13 PM
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Witchflower,
I'm not a Mom so I don't know how I would react but I guess she thought she was going to teach him by making him confront you. It probably would have been better to do it the way you mentioned. Even if you aren't bothered by what he said, his coming up to you again only brings it back up. And if you WERE bothered by it the first time, then it would make it worse, imo.
posted by
Wolf-Girl
on October 25, 2004 at 10:43 PM
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Ca88andra and suomynona,
Thank you for the thoughtful (and nice) comments. I agree with both of you; guess I just wanted to know I'm not the only soul who feels a certain way.
Ca88, I especially like the line, "its ok to notice differences about people, but not always ok to voice those observations." And suomynona (no nickname comes to mind) I think you hit it on the head that the mother would be hurt by being called big or anything similar. It's seems to be true, some people seem to want an overweight person to feel guilt and shame to mirror their own feelings of disgust and superiority. It really doesn't make one a better or worse person, any more than eye color or height does. Well, have to careful on that one, I have an inlaw who feels contempt for anyone who isn't tall, but that's another blog. Thanks!
posted by
Witchflower
on October 25, 2004 at 7:24 AM
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Witchflower - speaking from a mother's perspective... I have pulled my sons up for saying things like that, but it usually involves a whispered discussion with them to the effect that such statements are better not said aloud. I've never made them apologise to the person involved, but I have apologised for them and smiled appropriately I hope. For me its a matter of working out how to get it across to my children that its ok to notice differences about people, but not always ok to voice those observations.
posted by
Ca88andra
on October 25, 2004 at 1:45 AM
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I agree with you!
I think you sound like a wonderful, warm, well-balanced human being. Those are the qualities that count, and I get very tired of the inference that to be considered beautiful or successful...or sometimes even "normal" one has to be a certain weight or body type. I have been both slim (when I didn't appreciate it and was convinced I was overweight) and am now overweight due mostly to lack of motivation to take the necessary steps to get my weight down to a healthier level.....but do you know what? I absolutely HATE it when my Dad (he is more the culprit than my Mum) feels he has a right to tell me I'm getting very big and that I should do something about it....almost in a tone as if he is telling me off!! All that does is make me think....."well....I'm DEFINITELY not going to do anything about it now or you'll think I'm doing it to please you and I refuse to please anyone but myself!!"
As for the mother you mentioned, I'm sure she was embarrassed, perhaps because she would not like to be called "big" herself....so to her mind, she would think her son must have terribly hurt your feelings. I'm sure she was trying to be nice....but I can understand how making a mountain out of a molehill can just turn a "nothing" into a something!
Take care
posted by
suomynona
on October 25, 2004 at 12:21 AM
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