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- Go to M.E.T.A.M.O.R.P.H.O.S.I.S..................................................
Angelz,
Thanks. I've actually continued to rework this one, tightening, etc. Maybe I will post the new version some day.
posted by
Julia.
on October 29, 2004 at 1:15 PM
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Quirky~~~~
It has feelings there .. and I love the theme.. I can understand that Feeling you had while writing it.. all in all.... I got the picture ... keep trying it will come ... together for you!!!
posted by
ANGELZ_MIND
on October 29, 2004 at 5:30 AM
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mrsillinois,
was it about transformation by chance?
posted by
Julia.
on October 25, 2004 at 9:33 AM
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Thank you Ann. I am a poetry ignoramus but I am playing with it, and learning as I go.
posted by
Julia.
on October 25, 2004 at 9:33 AM
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I had a film friend of mine that did that movie by that title some time ago.
posted by
christinadanderson
on October 25, 2004 at 6:07 AM
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Different style of poetry;
always welcome.
Ann.
posted by
A-and-B
on October 25, 2004 at 5:53 AM
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thank you mary,
I'm still learning about poetry, have a loooooong way to go!
posted by
Julia.
on October 18, 2004 at 6:38 PM
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I like this. It's a beautiful rendition of the butterfly image.
posted by
Blanche.
on October 18, 2004 at 5:25 PM
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I liked this!
It could possibly be shortened a bit, but it's still pretty good!
posted by
Wolf-Girl
on October 6, 2004 at 3:18 PM
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Gheeghee, thanks.
posted by
Julia.
on September 23, 2004 at 10:45 PM
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Julia, it wasn't chopped liver at all!!!!!!!
Not even close, it was really good...
posted by
Gheeghee
on September 23, 2004 at 10:21 PM
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Ariala,
thanks for taking the time to do that, it helps me to see it differently.
posted by
Julia.
on September 22, 2004 at 10:18 AM
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Quirky, I used to review and edit poetry, so here are my thoughts and my
edits. Hope you don't mind me doing this. First of all, I think the poem has potential, but it's too long and too repetive. Even my rewrite needs to be cut. Overall, it's a cool concept.
here ya go:
M.E.T.A.M.O.R.P.H.O.S.I.S..................................................
Shedding my cocoon,
becoming...
baby butterfly,
scared, but no longer crawling,
no longer a caterpillar;
the transformation's begun.
It cannot be undone.
Stepping out of my cocoon,
naked and vulnerable,
that safe haven is spun around me
no more.
Light, delicate, yet strong
with wings so fragile,
yet I will withstand.
It's all so new, unknown,
so frightening to contemplate.
I embrace this transformation,
my cocoon is shed.
I can fly!
The cocoon will be washed away
with the next heavy rain.
I slap my wings
see what it’s like to fly,
to be light as a feather,
unencumbered by a caterpillar body.
I fly towards the light,
towards an even greater understanding
of my butterfly-self,
I flit gracefully through the sky,
seeking nourishment for my soul,
the sustenance for my life.
Freedom hath no limits.
Choices know no bounds.
Butterfly-self does not want to fly so far away
from where I spun silky threads around me
and lay quietly in wait
for the next stage of my life.
Fondly I remember resting in my cocoon
changes occurred, so slowly,
invisible to the naked eye.
And yet,
the moment of my butterfly birth, was perfect timing.
I breathe life into my butterfly body,
and take to
my journey towards the sky.
posted by
Ariala
on September 21, 2004 at 7:22 PM
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Thank you Original!!
posted by
Julia.
on September 19, 2004 at 8:52 PM
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Very nicely done!
posted by
Original_Influence
on September 19, 2004 at 8:09 PM
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