Go to I WRITE, THEREFORE I AM
- Add a comment
- Go to Blogit is not at all like the "REAL WORLD?!" Says who??
Quirk,
Yeah, I do now. Remember my brain if fried a light golden tan now. No gray cells anymore. I'm in Florida, remember. hee hee shadow
posted by
Keshet
on August 20, 2004 at 9:32 PM
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shadow,
it was just a joke. I assume you got it??
posted by
Julia.
on August 20, 2004 at 9:22 PM
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thank you word.smith,
I see no difference between spoken words and words typed into a computer. Both are equally "real" to me.
posted by
Julia.
on August 20, 2004 at 9:22 PM
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Quirk,
Its in your comments, and makes you feel better than do what you deem is necessary. shadow
posted by
Keshet
on August 20, 2004 at 9:18 PM
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Our words are all to real Quirky...
A virtual world it may be, but there is someone sitting at the other end of that mean comment, so I agree that it husts just as much here when people make mean statements as it does when spoken by those we meet face to face.
posted by
word.smith
on August 20, 2004 at 9:17 PM
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Shadow,
Okay, maybe I should delete that last comment. No, then I would be accused of being a sneaky, comment editing bitch, so I better leave it!!
posted by
Julia.
on August 20, 2004 at 9:14 PM
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Quirk,
Don't remind me. hee hee shadow
posted by
Keshet
on August 20, 2004 at 9:08 PM
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Hi Shadow,
Yeah, sometimes TOO real, hehe.
posted by
Julia.
on August 20, 2004 at 9:03 PM
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HarveyG,
thanks! I appreciate the compliment, and the visit!
posted by
Julia.
on August 20, 2004 at 9:03 PM
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nevertheless,
that is an interesting way to look at it. You can also log back into the same site with a new name, and no one is the wiser.
posted by
Julia.
on August 20, 2004 at 9:02 PM
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Quirk,
Blogit is as real as you make it Birthday Girl. Some make it more real than others. shadow
posted by
Keshet
on August 20, 2004 at 9:00 PM
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Kay-Ren,
thanks for the link, I will check out your poem asap.
posted by
Julia.
on August 20, 2004 at 8:58 PM
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Spitfire,
I think I agree with you, but not entirely sure. I think the responsiblity is not always an either/or, but a composite that includes the person who took their life, other people and outside sources. I can't quite tell from your comment if that is what you were saying also, or if you think it lies wholly with the trigger puller??
posted by
Julia.
on August 20, 2004 at 8:58 PM
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Quirky,
Wonderful post! Your description and comparison are so right on . . . there's not much else to say!
posted by
HarveyG
on August 20, 2004 at 7:04 PM
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the virtual world is the more honest, I think
Anonymity is very powerful and it really draws out people's true selves. Me, I am obnoxious on and off line (that old New Yorker thing), but I would surely dispute that the virtual world is not "real."
posted by
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
on August 20, 2004 at 6:44 PM
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Quirky
There are far fewer risks in online relationships (romantic or otherwise, but I'm talking more about otherwise here). It's very safe b/c if for some reason everything goes wrong and everyone hates you, you just log out and never log back in. You find a new site and start over easy as pie.
posted by
nevertheless
on August 20, 2004 at 3:44 PM
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Quirky,
Everything we do has consequences. We are responsible for the consequences of our actions. The trouble comes with people ignore that they are responsible for what they say no matter where they say it. Great Post! You inspired me to post a poem I wrote a couple of months ago. Word Pirate
posted by
Kay-Ren
on August 20, 2004 at 6:42 AM
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groucho,
very good points, all. It is definitely harder to know what is "the true reality" here as opposed to what is right in front of your face, but that doesn't make it "less real".
posted by
Julia.
on August 19, 2004 at 11:58 PM
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QA, This topic is a vicious cycle of who blames who.
There is never really a solid guilty source because there can be many involved in one's decision of suicide. (I know that's not what the whole post was geared toward, but since it's become a focus, I just felt I'd chime in on that last point you made in the post.) Many can blame suicide on the victim, the parents who improperly raised them, society, television, movies, mental illness, etc. It is only when mental illness is involved when one can NOT fully blame the one who commits suicide. It is
their decision and they have their reasons (and right) to end their life. What triggers that decision cannot be actually blamed on anyone else, but the rude, inconciderate, jouvinile, and assinign behavior that one may use that TRIGGERS such a horrible outcome on the suicide victim, well, legally they can't be prosecuted, but hopefully they will ultimately
prosecute themselves if they have any conscience at all.
posted by
SpitFire70
on August 19, 2004 at 11:56 PM
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quirky
as with other cultural stuff, it's hard to draw the line on incitment. In other words, we don't have free speech -- we can be punished for inciting violence. but the issue has always been the immediate. That is, if I say in a rally, "kill that ashole" and suddenly we find the asshole and do it, i've incited that. But if I make a comment on the radio and say it, and two weeks later someone does, where does my blame lie? How much responsibility falls on me? Same here with the blog. people are responsible for their own actions and should be sensitive and compassionate, but the staff also monitors for stuff and tries to root out those who hurt deliberately (and i disagree with qwerty on one point -- that person intended to mock you).
but yes the blog is a reality. there are people here and there are feelings and consequences. it's just harder to figure out what they are.
posted by
tbgroucho
on August 19, 2004 at 11:31 PM
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belle,
that is a VERY good point!! Even illiterate bufoons can have their say here right alongside writers with journalism degrees, published authors and all those inbetween. Thanks for commenting.
posted by
Julia.
on August 19, 2004 at 9:49 PM
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Odysseus!!
Yes, I agree with you 100%--no make that 1,000%!!! Thank you.
posted by
Julia.
on August 19, 2004 at 9:47 PM
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shadow,
It's not a "maybe" for me, I cannot be convinced that the virtual world isn't real. If someone insulted me to my face, and they happened to be the same person who said the same exact thing online, (for instance)--how could anyone say one of those insults is more "real" than the other??
posted by
Julia.
on August 19, 2004 at 9:46 PM
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It is like the real world in the way you describe BUT
it is not like the real world of publishing because here anyone can publish anything anytime, unchecked, unedited. In that way it is vastly different from the real world.
posted by
beachbelle
on August 19, 2004 at 9:33 PM
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Words have even more
power here than in the real world because they are virtually the entire medium. Even greater care should be used here, than in day to day verbal exchanges. Good post!
posted by
telemachus
on August 19, 2004 at 9:22 PM
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Quirk,
Words are a communication of feeling as well as manipulation. Who knows maybe the virtual world is real in some ways when emotions are highly involved. shadow
posted by
Keshet
on August 19, 2004 at 9:21 PM
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Hi StrickGold,
thanks for visiting!!
posted by
Julia.
on August 19, 2004 at 9:10 PM
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HolyG,
I don't know. I really can't see where you draw the line. Emotion is emotion, regardless. Words are words, regardless of whether they come from a mouth or fingertips. How is this any less Real than the physical world? Because you are alone? I'm alone every day in my office, is that then also not "the real world?" How do you define "the real world?"
posted by
Julia.
on August 19, 2004 at 9:09 PM
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word.
A lot of people pooh-pooh the power of the written word, and say, "Oh, this is only Blogit, big deal," but it can be very real, regardless of the fact that it is merely a "virtual" world
posted by
Julia.
on August 19, 2004 at 9:06 PM
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I agree
Blogit is like the real world because so many of us share our daily life and experiences.
posted by
StrickGold
on August 19, 2004 at 8:28 PM
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I think Blogit most definitely mirrors the real world and the people who inhabit it. But I don't think it
is the real world. That's something I've had to realize over the last few months.
posted by
Holy_Grail
on August 19, 2004 at 8:19 PM
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Agreed Quirky...
words can hurt and words can heal. We have to be careful of what we say to other people. It can make the difference between life and death and in my book, that's very serious business!
posted by
word.smith
on August 19, 2004 at 8:14 PM
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Hi Wiley sweetheart!
So you believe that if a person were to commit suicide, no matter what or who might have pushed them over that edge, it's still all their responsibility??
posted by
Julia.
on August 19, 2004 at 7:48 PM
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devon,
thank you!
posted by
Julia.
on August 19, 2004 at 7:45 PM
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qwerty,
thank you for your post, I mean, comment...no, seriously I appreciate you articulating all of that but I was just using the one example about me, because I felt people would get my point that way. It's not meant to be the focus of the post.
And as I said, I do believe everyone needs to accept responsibility for how they react to things--but I don't think an attacker should be absolved of all responsibility. Yet, again I agree with you, where is the line? Thanks for your comment.
posted by
Julia.
on August 19, 2004 at 7:45 PM
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Quirky
Good post.
To me suicide is an individual decison, we are each responsible for only ourselves in that regard."There is no refuge from confession except suicide; and suicide is confession."( Daniel Webster)
posted by
WileyJohn
on August 19, 2004 at 7:43 PM
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great post...
very, very true!
xxdevon
posted by
-BlueRoses
on August 19, 2004 at 7:34 PM
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An interesting post, to be sure.
The question as I see it is more a matter of where you are willing to cut off the causal chain of blame. Is it the guy's fault for posting the photo? What about his upbringing and circumstances that brought about his eventually posting that photo? Maybe someone saved some Jewish ancestor of his in WWII. Is it then that person's fault for saving the other person which eventually led to your pain? If I push in one place am I responsible for the unforseen distortion that comes out the other end?
I tend to think that everyone is responsible for their own reactions inasmuch as we are ever responsible for anything. If you were to kill yourself because the picture upset you so, then I'd say the problem with the situation is more your particular reaction to the photo. After all, others see it and are merely disgusted, and some probably chortle.
I don't think we can ever know with certainty how someone is going to react to any given stimulus, but to some extent we can certainly modulate our own responses to those things whether they be tacky jokes or tasteless pictures of bloody corpses.
That fellow couldn't be sure that a bloody picture would send you into a psychological panic of sorts, and it didn't neccessarily have to. I understand you have a load of trauma under your own belt, and that didn't help, but the range of emotions it could have elicted might have been anything from pissing you off to causing you to want to jump off a cliff. We do get to choose somewhat on what our reactions are. You probably could have opted to scold that guy, and let it go at that, but you didn't--for whatever reason--and that is wherein the problem lies.
As I said before, the world is a nasty, nasty place, and I don't think we should ever expect anyone to cut us any breaks. With that attitude in mind, the best we can hope for is to be able to control our own emotional responses to the best of our abilities and realize that people only get to us inasmuch as we allow them to. (so long as they aren't holding a board or something)
posted by
qwertyui
on August 19, 2004 at 7:33 PM
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Hollee,
thank you, I'm glad you liked it!
posted by
Julia.
on August 19, 2004 at 7:31 PM
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Quirky - excellent, excellent post.
posted by
Hollee
on August 19, 2004 at 7:18 PM
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