Go to I WRITE, THEREFORE I AM
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- Go to Bloggers, have you ever been "shrunk?"
Wiley, I hope so too.
You are much too kind and caring to be anywhere but in a light-filled existence, and I pray for that, for you.
posted by
Julia.
on August 6, 2004 at 1:02 PM
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Shadow,
I think everyone has some fear of revealing their weak spots to others.
posted by
Julia.
on August 6, 2004 at 12:59 PM
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QuirkyAlone
Great post, I can identify with all of that. Yes, I too feel expanded after much sharing with psychotherapist over the past 25 years.
I am still very thin skinned, haven't mastered the art of not caring about being hurt, still working on that.
Have discovered that perhaps getting hurt is also the result of hurting others even if unknowingly.
Well, I have descended below the depression now, and it's very dark here, hope I see light sooner rather than later.
posted by
WileyJohn
on August 6, 2004 at 12:07 PM
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Quirk,
This is true, I'm probably one of those folks myself as I seem to at times get myself in deep crap and then attempt to solve it by myself because of my damn independent streak, so I'm always in some kind of turmoil. It about kills me to talk about some stuff and when I do I dwell on it to obsession and its really nothing at all. That's me! shadow
posted by
Keshet
on August 6, 2004 at 10:31 AM
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MelodyStar,
I think that might be more traumatic than whatever it was that led her to therapy in the first place!! I mean, talk about the ultimate insult.
posted by
Julia.
on August 6, 2004 at 10:20 AM
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Shadow,
well, unfortunately I think there are a lot of people who can't or won't look real deeply, mostly out of fear of what they will find.
posted by
Julia.
on August 6, 2004 at 10:19 AM
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It really was awful for her!
posted by
Melodystar
on August 6, 2004 at 10:10 AM
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Quirk,
No, its not always necessary, but in the end if your problem is major (if its your personal problem) that requires time spent in the company of others to help give you support (hey even pee amon) then you are receiving a type of therapy. If you do your own research then its also a form of therapy. When you write about it you are giving yourself a boost to solve the issues. Explore the problems. Its the ones who refuse to acknowledge the need for help, or deny they are getting help who are hurting not only themselves, but the people who love them. Its both a personal issue, but also a social issue involed. Your moods affect those around you who are in constant contact and know you best. shadow
posted by
Keshet
on August 6, 2004 at 10:07 AM
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Melodystar,
That's AWFUL!!
I would've refused to pay them a penny for their little nap time!!!
posted by
Julia.
on August 6, 2004 at 9:55 AM
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Shadow,
All that is certainly true, but it's not always necessary to do it via "shrinkage."
posted by
Julia.
on August 6, 2004 at 9:54 AM
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I had a friend who went to see a therapist and he feel asleep while she was telling him her problems! Good Post.
posted by
Melodystar
on August 6, 2004 at 9:53 AM
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Quirk,
In my opinion you can't fix the problem until you are honest with yourself, admit to yourself you have one and you want to fix it, right. That's the start to healing. Doesn't matter if its physical or emotional. You must want to find a answer and a cure. shadow
posted by
Keshet
on August 6, 2004 at 9:46 AM
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Talion,
Wow--very interesting comment. First, I think it's great you have so many people you feel comfortable opening up to, and feel they can offer you an impartial viewpoint. I do find it interesting when people admit to clinging to the stereotypical "stigma" aspect of therapy, because I don't really have an understanding of that. I probably felt this way before I went to one back in college, but it was quickly apparent that because of my past events, I really needed this and it was helping me...so I guess I got over it pretty quick. Thanks for commenting!!
posted by
Julia.
on August 6, 2004 at 9:37 AM
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nevertheless,
you make some very good points. It is just like anything else, "buyer beware." I can usually tell right off the bat if a therapist is going to work out for me, but others might not be able to so easily.
posted by
Julia.
on August 6, 2004 at 9:32 AM
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Shadow,
I think the term "shrink" probably originated because people had such a negative view of what they do. Plenty of people do not want anyone to know they've gone to see someone, which to me makes no sense whatsoever, but to each his own.
posted by
Julia.
on August 6, 2004 at 9:30 AM
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spitfire,
lol--me, too. "WHY on earth did I say that?"
posted by
Julia.
on August 6, 2004 at 9:28 AM
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Quirk
I've never had any therapy because I've never thought I needed it. When I have a problem, I can go to my brother, my mother, uncle, any of my aunts, or any one of several close long-lasting friends to talk and help me work it out. Now I even have a wife. With so many to choose from, I've never had the need to go to an outside source.
This question has also forced me to look at how I view the idea of therapy. I still cling to the ridiculous notion that there's a stigma attached to it. I would have to be dragged to see a therapist, maybe even kicking and screaming. If forced, it's something that I would hide and never admit to voluntarily. Even though I know that in this day and age, it's nothing to be ashamed about and I don't hold it against people who have (and I don't wish to offend anyone), I doubt I could muster the courage/insight to seek that form of help for myself.
It's almost funny. As enlightened as I like to think of myself, there are still areas that are left completely in the dark.
posted by
Talion
on August 6, 2004 at 8:58 AM
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There's lots of screwball shrinks out there--
which is why I think people are so skeptical. Actually, they are not screwballs they are just greedy. Real therapy can be (should be?) very painful b/c you are growing emotionally. Some therapists just try to soothe you, make you feel better, rather than help you solve deep emotional problems. They are afraid if its too painful, if they challenge you too much, you will quit paying them. They are experts at reading people and can easily tell you what you want to hear--so beware.
I work with kids, most of whom have seen many therapists, many jacked up therapists. I also work with therapists who people are sending their kids to as a last resort--the parents are desperate so they are in a much better position to do real therapy.
posted by
nevertheless
on August 6, 2004 at 8:42 AM
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Quirk,
I actually know very few people who haven't had therapy of some type. They just don't want to admit it because they think they are abnormal. My best shrink was actually my psychology professor at school. Major depression after my mom died caused too much concern with friends, especially from those who knew about the other stuff in my past. They conned the professor in talking to me kinda like through class room activity at first, then I just started seeing her when I realized that I actually was in need of help. Heck wished she was still in business today. shadow
posted by
Keshet
on August 6, 2004 at 8:34 AM
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It's really imazing how one can open up to things they wouldn't
normally think about if not talking to a therapist. Weird. I have often left my "shrinks'" office and pondered what came out of my mouth. I guess that's how it works.
posted by
SpitFire70
on August 6, 2004 at 12:31 AM
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yes i must beeee going!
goodnight quirky
tg
posted by
tbgroucho
on August 5, 2004 at 11:00 PM
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groucho,
I hope you DO write a post about it sometime...but obviously not tonight...so...get thee off to bed young man!
posted by
Julia.
on August 5, 2004 at 10:59 PM
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RachelAnna,
I hadn't heard that about the intelligence theory...but I like it!!
posted by
Julia.
on August 5, 2004 at 10:58 PM
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i've been in therapy for about ten years
and could write a whole post on it -- but it
really is late and i've got to get some sleep. Goodnight, my friend, quirky, and all who've said hi to me tonight -- and sorry, to say hi-and-goodbye , Rachelanna, but hi and goodbye! tg
posted by
tbgroucho
on August 5, 2004 at 10:49 PM
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I agree!
They also say those who seek out a "shrink" are usually quite intelligent as those who are not do not seek treatment or help. So...even if you have issues with being "shrunk" there are positive associations with your intelligence!
posted by
RachelAnna
on August 5, 2004 at 10:45 PM
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wenchy
Yes, it's hard to find impartial friends who also have empathy and understanding, which for me is an important triad for a therapist. As for the typo, lol.
posted by
Julia.
on August 5, 2004 at 10:37 PM
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jimmy68, I had a few that were truly awful...but I could tell right away,
so I just thanked them and never went back.
posted by
Julia.
on August 5, 2004 at 10:34 PM
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Oops ... ** therapy **
:::: Thinks to self 'must check for typos when posting comments or will seem in need of basic english instruction as well as therapy' ::::
posted by
Moohahaha
on August 5, 2004 at 10:26 PM
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Very clever insight into the irony of "shrinking" when true therapys does
indeed 'expand'. Wonderful post, Quirky One xxxxxx
PS: I had some 'shrinking' done when my Mum died - it helped a lot just to be able to pour out all sorts of stuff to an impartial listener :) xx.
posted by
Moohahaha
on August 5, 2004 at 10:24 PM
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I supose that it comes from a fear of the idea of therapy...
I've been with a variety of therapists over the years and while some of them were bozos, most of the time it has been useful. I probably would have never gotten through my own season in purgatory without their help.
posted by
jimmy68
on August 5, 2004 at 10:19 PM
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