To find the sun during the day & the rest at night

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

the agony and catharsis of grief

I am a firm believer in if you get knocked down, get back up; if you get thrown by the horse, get back in the saddle, etc. This time, I am finding it extremely difficult to get back up. Somehow, knowing now without any doubt that my mother just went through the motions with me - my heart hurts. I am... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Ending a relationship that is toxic

There are times in life when you realize that someone in it is toxic. That every time you're around them, you leave bruised. It isn't something you see coming. It sneaks up on you, and it takes a long time to realize that a + b = c, that if it looks like a dog and barks like a dog it is probably a... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, February 26, 2010

Of father's and legacies

Today is my father's birthday. He would be 93. When I think about Dad, I remember so much. How he would sit on my bed when I was little and tell me stories about how our cat would go out at night and meet in a special place for cats, where they would all have a dance in the moonlight and share tuna... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Going for "it"

It's just about 2 months since 2010 began - and about 2 months since I resolved to get in shape. No more excuses. I have been very complacent in the past, never pushing myself, never going for it (whatever "it" may be). This year, while one of the most difficult, has also brought out the fight in... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

God gives us friends to remind us we aren't alone in life

My best friend is named Tracy. We have gone through 30-odd years of friendship and shared weddings, childbirth, divorce, the trauma of potty-training, the angst of puberty and the amazement at the sheer volume of food teenage boys can consume. We have grieved over the deaths of our fathers, of jobs... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, February 22, 2010

It's amazing how loud silence can be

Well, it's the end of the day, Monday, Feb. 22. No phone calls from the hospital with that cheery, "We'd like to extend an offer to you as a phlebotomist" has come. The phone has been almost silent. The past 7 days, waiting, waiting, and waiting have been a physiological train wreck, my Crohn's has... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

I had this dream about the Olympics

I love the Olympics, and have been watching at least some every day. I didn't realize how into the Olympics I was until I woke up this morning. I dreamt about snowboarding. It was the last heat to determine which two women would go down the track (not the half-pipe with the flips and such, the... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

and the verdict is...wait a little longer

I talked to HR on the phone today. They asked me all sorts of ethics questions: "If you had an angry patient, how would you deal with it?" "If a doctor asked you to do something unethical, how would you handle it?" "Tell us about a situation where you've made a suggestion that made some process or... Sign in to see full entry.

On maybe having a job...

Yesterday, I got a telephone call from the Hospital I interviewed with. They are thinking of making me an offer. When I started working at age 15, you walked into the business you wanted to work for, filled out an application by hand, and then talked to someone. Sometimes, you were hired on the... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Valentine's Day - from someone who isn't in love at the moment

Valentine's day - images of hearts, flowers, candy, doves cooing, gifts and statements of love. It's a great day when you have that "special someone" to celebrate love with - not so much when you don't. I had to really think about this one. I believe in love, I love love, and romance and everything... Sign in to see full entry.

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