5 THINGS...........

By AgoraphobicPrison - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Everything Else

Wednesday, April 28, 2004

You Should Never Take For Granted..........................................

Your children Your spouse/partner Love Health God Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, March 20, 2004

That Are Bigger Than A Breadbox...........................

A 10 Gallon Hat 2 Ton Bag of Italian Breadcrumbs 1 and a half breadboxes The New Fandangled Genius Edition of "What's My Line?" Board Game The Breadbox 6000 - Super Duper Deluxe "Bigger than the Average Breadbox" Model Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, March 19, 2004

You Should Never Do While Taking a Bath....................................

Tae-Bo Jump Rope Snorkel Practice making fire by rubbing two sticks together Rewire a lamp Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, March 18, 2004

You Should Never Give as a Wedding Gift....................................

Stemware engraved with a top divorce lawyer's phone number Peekaboo nighty for him Gift Certificate to Queer Eddie's Bar and Grill Towels embroidered with His & The Bitch's A year's membership to The Date of The Month Club Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, March 15, 2004

MrsIllinois could blog about...............................................

Modeling Career - the ups and downs How to blow glamourous kisses to the camera Plagiarism and the effects it has on bloggers Clicking Tricks and Linking Blogs Ariala - oh wait, she already has No bloggers were harmed in the making of this blig. All down in the name of fun. Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, March 14, 2004

You Should Never Do While On Fire..........................................

Read the newspaper. Newsprint is highly flammable stuff. Walk under the smoke detector. Hellooooo, that sound is annoying! Cook. Scorchmarks on the stovetop are so unattractive and a bitch to remove. Pump gas. The signs clearly state not to expose gas to open flame. Run a marathon. Unless you are... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, March 13, 2004

You Won't Hear Martha Stewart Say After Her Sentencing.....................

" Finally a chance to organize the prison library!" "Could Kmart get the prison contract for the linens?" "I've always wanted to crochet a couch, now I've got the time!" "Stripes just don't work on me" "It's a Good Thing." Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, March 6, 2004

You'll Never See as Titles for Bestselling Books...........................

Spittle..It's What's For Dinner Flyswatter Webbing: The Lost Art Form Me, Me, Me and Me: An Egotistical Study into Me Cheese Graters and Other Dangerous Household Appliances The Downward Departure of a Woman named Martha Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, March 4, 2004

You Never Want To Hear in A Chinese Restaurant.............................

"Tastes Like Chicken!" "Pardon me, you have a whisker stuck in your teeth." "This is much, much furrier than last time!" "You want an Ipecac Eggroll with that?" " Meow " Sign in to see full entry.

That Indicate You are Watching Too Much Reality TV.........................

You've formed an alliance with your dog to get rid of your husband You sharpen your spear regularly so that your family can have only the freshest fish. You try out for Bachelorette even though you've been married 20 years and have 4 kids. You've developed a phobia of job interviews because of... Sign in to see full entry.

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