Go to Big V Mumbles About Something
- Add a comment
- Go to (No subject)
I understand. My mom had so much on her plate...
posted by
Annicita
on October 31, 2022 at 4:42 AM
| link to this | reply
Thank you Everyone
Some people have never run into the problem of having an abusive parent, be it due to alcohol, drugs, or emotional issues, and they do not understand how I could ever say "I Hate My Mother."
As I think I said somewhere in the discussion of this story, this story tells a lot of bad things about my mother, but it also exposes me to scrutiny. I'm not saying I deserved any of the abuse I received, but I carried the hatred for fifty-five years... about fifty years too long. I knew she was "crazy" when I was very young, but I allowed myself to seethe over it.
If you ever read or listened to the Audible version (the best method in my mind) of My Long Road Back, you'd know how I almost allowed that hatred to almost destroy my life. It caused me to waste five years of my life as I wandered, lost in my head after a head injury at work.
posted by
BigV
on October 29, 2022 at 8:19 AM
| link to this | reply
My mother was also walking wounded and abusive, also a perfectionist
which isn't a major requirement for child-rearing. Wishing you all good luck on bringing your story to the page where it will help readers understand a thing or two. Be well.
posted by
Pat_B
on October 29, 2022 at 8:01 AM
| link to this | reply
Re: Kabu
We swatted our kids just hard enough to make them understand their behavior was not acceptable. Me? I was plain and simply beaten. I have a scar on my forehead from when she hit me in the face with a hammer because I asked if I could make a sandwich at 9 PM.
If you've ever milked cows, you are probably familiar with that nine-foot-long two-inch wide black strap with brass eyelets they would place over the cow's back to hold the milking machine in place. I still have multiple scars on my legs from the strap and the brass eyelets sixty years later. She would hit me so much, my legs would be dripping blood for an hour or more.
It took me a long time to understand my mother was mentally ill. She beat us all, but she had a serious "thing" for me. She had been beaten as a child and beaten children all too frequently become a parent who beats their children. I never touched my kids beyond a slap on the bottom.
It was a conversation with my brother that made me decide the story must be written.
Take care, my friend.
posted by
BigV
on October 26, 2022 at 12:03 PM
| link to this | reply
What can I say. I used to think my childhood was normal while I lived it. Adulthood taught me it was priveledged. hurting adults, both parents take their anger and pain out on their own children. Of course that is a generalization because of course not all do, but it is the pattern. I smacked little bottoms and legs when they were naughty little boys. I never hurt them, just their ego. of course one is told that is wrong now but I am not sure about that.
posted by
Kabu
on October 26, 2022 at 11:35 AM
| link to this | reply