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Re: We need "mourning cops"
I could not agree more with this comment.
posted by
Azur
on January 29, 2011 at 3:12 PM
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Elyse
posted by
elysianfields
on January 25, 2011 at 7:02 AM
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So sad that the service was spoilt through technical troubles, but what a brilliant idea to have a slide show of her life at the wake.
posted by
Rockingrector_retd
on January 24, 2011 at 9:23 AM
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f An active heart’s good love. BC-A, Bill’s R®st
posted by
BC-A
on January 21, 2011 at 9:04 PM
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What a cool thing to do to ban handshakes for hugs! AWESOME! You did the right thing to write the letter, things should be heard! sam
posted by
sam444
on January 21, 2011 at 5:04 PM
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We need "mourning cops"
I think many folks hurry their mourning, whether it is due to guilt, depression, or an urge to get it out of the way and so feel as happy as before. That is too bad and also a little futile. Mourning can be a little like childbirth...it takes its own time for each one of us, each time. Unlike childbirth, an occasional pang can surface years or decades later. Whether we interpret that as pain or bittersweet reminiscence again depends upon ourselves and the siutation.
Some folks go too slowly, sort of loitering in the land of despair. Again, it takes its own time, one has to keep on and feel it, but also decide what can and will be done despite our reactions.
When one's heart goes out, one must keep enough for one's self and loved ones.
posted by
majroj
on January 21, 2011 at 11:53 AM
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Well said. In my opinion, a celebration of life can be very comforting.
posted by
Amanda__
on January 21, 2011 at 8:22 AM
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Well said, Azur, well said..
The reality of your words is what I have learned to live on, having accepted my disease and thusly my own mortality, something we all have to face sooner or later. Today is the way to happiness and peace and as I fall asleep tonight, I will know I traveled it well. Nice to read this, Thank you for sharing.
posted by
Raye09
on January 20, 2011 at 4:39 PM
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Sometimes I wonder if all that funeral service stuff with eulogies and such is good for the survivors. Sometimes I wonder what would happen when I die if I tell them to just throw out all that pre-arranged funeral plan for me and tell them I don't want any services for me--none at all. Sometimes I wonder what they would think if I told them to just have me cremated instead and spinkle my ashes in son's rose garden without any pomp and circumstance. I have no idea how many funerals I have been to and participated in in my lifetime. I don't think I really needed them to help me remember the good things about the ones I loved.
posted by
TAPS.
on January 20, 2011 at 4:01 PM
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I had a friend who was in her 80s when I was in my 30s raising kids
and she said she sometimes thought it was a punishment to be the one left behind to mourn. She said she had a talk with the Lord about it, and he said he needed the ones he'd called to tend to something in heaven, but she hadn't quite finished something he needed her to do.
posted by
Pat_B
on January 20, 2011 at 3:35 PM
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You've said so much here Azur...
...I know what you mean by survivor guilt. A few months ago, when my daughter got married, my niece cried all through the ceremony and afterwards too. She said she didn't know why she was crying because she was happy for my daughter, but she lost her mother when she was just 19 and didn't have her mother at her wedding...I know it was terribly painful for her to watch such a mother/daughter event. Our families were together all the time and I ached for my niece..wondering why a certain person gets chosen to leave this world, and others are left behind.
posted by
ginnieb
on January 20, 2011 at 2:39 PM
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great post dear because I can tell that it came from the heart...and I know
that crying later and privately. Three am in the morning has always been a good time for me to cry alone.....but I am on top of the world right now.....sneding love to you and to everyone in Australia with those terrible floods all over.
posted by
Kabu
on January 20, 2011 at 12:43 PM
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