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Wiley can of course help you the most with this. What I have learned from
him is that his sobriety is his battle and nothing to do with me. I sit and sip my glass of wine most evenings. He enjoys me having my wine and says that if it worried him then he wouldn't be handling his sobriety. I have heard him say to another person, 40 years or 40days....... remember we are sober today.I hope he turned up for breakfast.

posted by Kabu on October 19, 2009 at 7:33 PM | link to this | reply

Baby steps, one at a time
And if he falls just start over remembering how good it felt in this two days. I wouldn't try to force anything - just keep taking it step by step and let this pattern gather it;s  own strength.

Well done to you - what a friend you are


posted by Azur on October 19, 2009 at 12:34 PM | link to this | reply

Ciel
Think I am not in any way more qualified than Troosha to suugest any solution. For me, there's lots to be learnt, but  for hope you all the best.

posted by anib on October 19, 2009 at 10:40 AM | link to this | reply

Troosha, I have suggested AA, and he won't have it.

However, he has shown up this morning, sober and with his new guitar.  Three days!

Anyway, I have not offered to go to a meeting with him--have been on my own to Alanon, years ago.  It was a great help!  So I will offer and see what comes next.

posted by Ciel on October 19, 2009 at 10:21 AM | link to this | reply

Ciel

I hope your friend does make it to day 4, 5, 6 and so on but from my first-hand experience (sister of a heroin addict, mother of recovering alcoholic) it is so important that when someone embarks on “recovery” they surround themselves with like minded people; people who know the journey, understand the pain and shame, etc.  AA is a proven recipe for success so maybe you could even suggest that you go with him to a meeting.  Just a thought….

posted by Troosha on October 19, 2009 at 10:02 AM | link to this | reply