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Re: TAPS.
there's your answer johnmacnab... your personal feelings about the plonker are giving you writer's block..  how about exploring his motivations for being such a plonker - ? for example: a) eccentricity, b) poor taste in fence decoration, c) making his wife happy by decorating the fence, d) happy in his ignorance... etc. 
(my comments are tongue in cheek of course, I wouldn't dream of giving advice..)

posted by mneme on November 23, 2009 at 4:24 AM | link to this | reply

If the food-snob does give lessons
I'd really love to know how to do a beautifuly poached egg -- in water, not in one of those buttered little steamers -- like the one my companion had on top of his smoked haddock the other day (and I do wish I could remember the name of the restaurant where we had lunch).. mine always have straggly white bits hanging off the edges...

posted by mneme on November 23, 2009 at 4:17 AM | link to this | reply

Naw, you had it the first time. Thanks for entertaining us here!

posted by majroj on October 23, 2009 at 5:25 PM | link to this | reply

majroj
Oops! Talking of cultural decadence, my apologies majroj.

posted by johnmacnab on October 23, 2009 at 11:27 AM | link to this | reply

johnmacnab, I was referring to cultural decadence
You know, ten minutes' description of a leaky faucet, "critically deconstructing" the movie "Borat"...Yeah, the Visigoths woulda sorted it out.

posted by majroj on October 23, 2009 at 12:49 AM | link to this | reply

Azur
I'm not one for description anyway Azur unless it is needed to explain something.  Ten out of Ten young lass, it is the 9th Rule.  Somebody crushed the egg, darn it.

posted by johnmacnab on October 17, 2009 at 7:45 PM | link to this | reply

TAPS.

LOL.  It isn't done in any style except 'keep the rain off' style.  I suppose I could have been a tad more descriptive, but then I'm not that enamoured of the plonker across the road.  

What do you do with a guy who puts a huge fake hawk on top of his dock to keep the birds away, and then fits faux Canada Geese along the top of his fence, hiding the view of the real birds that land on top of the fake hawk?

posted by johnmacnab on October 17, 2009 at 7:41 PM | link to this | reply

Pat_B
I'd be scared to stick a spoon in it Pat, in case it bit me.  I'm surprised you can still remember my swimming lesson posts - I must re-read them.  This reminds me that I saw my ex Water-Princess the other day and she reminded me of my last lesson.  Now that she was awakened the swimming mode, I must write a post describing it.  Thank you for the compliment, Pat.

posted by johnmacnab on October 17, 2009 at 7:34 PM | link to this | reply

majroj
You're lucky it wasn't the Goths, my lad.  They would have sorted out which came first, the chicken or the oeuf.

posted by johnmacnab on October 17, 2009 at 7:29 PM | link to this | reply

sam444
That's my job sam444; to make people smile.

posted by johnmacnab on October 17, 2009 at 7:24 PM | link to this | reply

Description is over-rated. Don't sweat this
I always think of description, or at least anything more than a dab here or there, in a novel as being like Elmore Leonard's ninth (I think) rule of writing - something to the effect of don't include the sections readers skip over. Only tell us about the egg if it drives the narrative forward.

posted by Azur on October 17, 2009 at 2:12 PM | link to this | reply

HaHaHa to your description of the house compared to that of the egg.  I have a feeling you didn't have much to work with there--like seven gables or mansard roof, and probably it was not done in the Mayan Revival architecture style.

posted by TAPS. on October 17, 2009 at 8:34 AM | link to this | reply

Beautifully described as this soft-boiled egg was,
it still doesn't sound like something I'd want to eat. Which ain't the point of your comparison, I know. On the other hand, you've written descriptions, painted word pictures, such as your swimming lessons which were memorable, that might be a fairer comparison to this guy's. Give yourself a little credit!

posted by Pat_B on October 17, 2009 at 7:55 AM | link to this | reply

Oh, dear Lord!

I hear the Visigoths at the gate.

posted by majroj on October 16, 2009 at 10:17 PM | link to this | reply

Oh, dear Lord!

I hear the Visigoths at the gate.

posted by majroj on October 16, 2009 at 10:17 PM | link to this | reply

I am exiting with the biggest grin! sam

posted by sam444 on October 16, 2009 at 5:37 PM | link to this | reply

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