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Re: Vogue
Bravo nautikos! Exactly how I feel. It's patronizing and just not ON!
posted by
vogue
on April 20, 2008 at 2:24 AM
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Vogue
I have absolutely nothing against the first name thing, as long as it's mutual!
One of my pet peeves is the patronizing way medical underlings of all types, receptionists and nurses, address you by your first name without having introduced themselves. Since because of an accident a couple of years ago I have had to spend a fair bit of time in hospitals and doctors' waiting rooms, I frequently run into that situation.
It goes something like this: She comes in, all bright-eyed, smiling and trilling, "Jack, the doctor can see you now!" I get up. And I'm loud.
"What's your name, honey?"
"My name?"
"Yes, your name!"
She hesitates a moment. "Bernice"...
"Look here, Bernice, dahlin' - when I take you out to dinner, you can call me Jack. Until that happens, I am Dr.... to you, you understand?" (I have a PhD and can legitimately do that!).
"And what's more, the other folks here I'm sure won't mind either if you address them by their last names!"
She goes all red and her face sort of comes apart, there are various noises from the rest of the crowd, and she quickly ushers me into the inner sanctum...
And she never, ever, calls me by my first name again...
posted by
Nautikos
on April 19, 2008 at 7:19 PM
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Yes, until we're or they are on 'first name' basis, I think we are allowed the courtesy of being addressed by our formal name(s). I agree with you here, Ms. Vogue ~
~
Elyse
posted by
elysianfields
on April 19, 2008 at 3:44 PM
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Initially
I address people formally in emails
posted by
Azur
on April 19, 2008 at 3:35 PM
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I guess
it's a cultural thing. In Australia it's acceptable to meet the Prime Minister and say 'Gudday Kevin'. I kinda like it that way...
posted by
Antipodean
on April 19, 2008 at 7:12 AM
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You're right..
trying to get into a comfort zone when it comes to business matters is an absolute no-no.
posted by
whirlwindaffair
on April 19, 2008 at 7:07 AM
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People have been complaining about this
Since at least World War I. Sales people are taught to do this because ... it works. You're smart and felt as if someone were trying to manipulate you. They were. On most people, the manipulation works or at least they don't realize they have been manipulated. I've been in sales, it was one of the things I just couldn't do.
posted by
Halfelven
on April 19, 2008 at 7:04 AM
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People have been complaining about this
Since at least World War I. Sales people are taught to do this because ... it works. You're smart and felt as if someone were trying to manipulate you. They were. On most people, the manipulation works or at least they don't realize they have been manipulated. I've been in sales, it was one of the things I just couldn't do.
posted by
Halfelven
on April 19, 2008 at 7:03 AM
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I agree...
...it's called 'etiquette' and it's an endangered species, like 'decorum.' Your annoyance is perfectly justified.
posted by
metalrat
on April 18, 2008 at 8:12 PM
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i agree, i think this person was being really disrespectful & treating you like crap! i would certainly have reacted to such a situation.
posted by
pelagus
on April 18, 2008 at 11:38 AM
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I think a surname is very appropriate in business matters when there is no acquaintance. sam
posted by
sam444
on April 18, 2008 at 10:05 AM
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vogue
Although I'm not offended when an email comes back "Dear Troosha" I much prefer, and feel it's a sign of respect, to address someone you don't know (particularly in a business setting) by their surname. In fact, I think it's only common sense to do so.
posted by
Troosha
on April 18, 2008 at 9:33 AM
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I do strongly believe in being courteous. I strongly agree my friend.
posted by
cmhnord
on April 18, 2008 at 9:06 AM
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To be on the safe side, I agree with you, We are taught this in nursing....
to address one another with Mr, Ms, or Mrs.
posted by
Kolekshuns
on April 18, 2008 at 7:31 AM
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"Internet Casual"
In the days of pen and paper letter writing - known as the good old Emily Post days - people abided by societal formalities, including addressing elders or those imagined to be elders as Mrs. or Mr. I still carry over those habits, and won't use first names unless my correspondent signs off with their own. I feel it's a matter of respect, but the world wide web is so immediate and informal, it seems as if convention has been tossed aside. I wouldn't give it more than a moment's thought.
posted by
gapcohen
on April 18, 2008 at 7:09 AM
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For me personally, I would much rather be called by Trish, my first name
than anything else, except Ariala, of course.
I do think it might be a culture thing, however
posted by
Ariala
on April 18, 2008 at 6:16 AM
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