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Wifey
That is HORRIBLE! This woman's tackiness caused everybody on BOTH SIDES OF THE FAMILY to focus upon "what is received" rather than the true meaning of Christmas. Too bad Pam has to spend time with this woman on Christmas. Hopefully next year, Pam will consider only visiting her mother for a single day, a few days before the Christmas opening of gifts with her brother and step-brother.
posted by
Joe_Love
on December 31, 2006 at 5:42 PM
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LOL Whinge
Well he is kinda cute!
posted by
bel_1965
on December 30, 2006 at 2:07 PM
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Spitfire
If it had only been about stuff, I wouldn't care. I know this was done intentionally and honestly I don't think she was trying to hurt Pam she was trying to jab at Carl and I. The fact that she used Pam to do so it what angers me so deeply.
posted by
bel_1965
on December 30, 2006 at 2:06 PM
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Corbin
Pam is very smart but of course at 12 it still hurts her to feel that her mother doesn't love her as much as she loves the boys. She's a tough cookie, I just wish she didn't have to be so often.
posted by
bel_1965
on December 30, 2006 at 2:05 PM
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Manda
It truly is.
posted by
bel_1965
on December 30, 2006 at 2:04 PM
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Symphony
Pam is old enough to understand that sometimes she won't get as many based on cost...but this was done so blatantly and it was hurtful. She is a good girl and is usually very happy with most anything. Before she left I gave her some stuff for her craft projects, it really cost me very little...yet she was tickled to death with it. It was the matter of her being treated so differently that hurt her.
I hope all 3 of you had a wonderful holiday.
posted by
bel_1965
on December 30, 2006 at 2:03 PM
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Presley
Don't give me ideas. I KNOW she did this to stick it to Carl and I...but the fact that she didn't give a damn if her daughter was hurt in the process just.......grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
posted by
bel_1965
on December 30, 2006 at 2:01 PM
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bel
I personally think mommy was trying to provoke others and used Pam as a token. What a wench! This type of blatant ignorance irks me to the core! Shall I google a hitman???
posted by
Presley
on December 30, 2006 at 11:44 AM
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That is so sad, how can anybody treat their children different.
I always make sure Jamie and Shannon have got the same, I counted the presents too...just in case.
I am so shocked that people can be like that.....awful.
glad she has got you...
posted by
_Symphony_
on December 30, 2006 at 10:44 AM
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thats sad.
posted by
Amanda__
on December 30, 2006 at 10:36 AM
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bel.....
Glad to see you back......Sorry that the "Bitch" is being so consistent ....I think your daughter is seeing it for exactly what it's worth.
posted by
Corbin_Dallas
on December 30, 2006 at 9:45 AM
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bel,
I never understood the whole holiday gift crap. It's like a yearly competition of who can out gift who and how much $ they spent. It's crazy and as you portrayed in this post, it often causes hurt feelings.
posted by
SpitFire70
on December 29, 2006 at 7:10 PM
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Yep, and I only wish there were more people like you around in situations
like these.
My inner 15 year old still screams out for this & wanting to shag Keanu Reeves also.
posted by
CringeintheUSA
on December 29, 2006 at 5:05 PM
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bel,
sad as the situation is, it is obvious that Pam loves you and trusts you, and that is a good thing...
posted by
Nautikos
on December 29, 2006 at 5:02 PM
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bel it is a sad, hurtful situation but I believe that
you, with what you have expressed here today, can turn it around. Happy New Year
posted by
scoop
on December 29, 2006 at 1:51 PM
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Oh my, I have been gone because my net is giving me fits
and I come back to all of these sweet and loving comments. I will catch up with all of you as soon as I can but in the meantime....
to every single one of you!
posted by
bel_1965
on December 29, 2006 at 12:41 PM
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bel, I'm with Justi. She's a wise lady and she has advised you wisely. I couldn't have done better myself.
posted by
MaggieMae
on December 29, 2006 at 12:25 PM
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Don't boycott the holidays.
Just boycott Pam's asshat mother. That's really freakin' low of someone to do that to a kid, for no other reason but spite.
posted by
strat
on December 29, 2006 at 11:05 AM
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no, don't boycot the holidays because of that awful excuse of a mother.
Pam is lucky to have you, and you can show her true love. In the end, karma will take care of things.
posted by
Julia.
on December 29, 2006 at 11:01 AM
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Bel
The very worst thing for a mother is to see her child hurt from a direction that cannot seem to be avoided. I know you want to protect her and encourage her and make things right for her. I'm sure that you are remembering hurts from your childhood and want so badly to have things be so much better for Pam. No matter how hard you try, you cannot protect her from some things, but she will be better for it simply seeing that you are in her corner and have those desires.
posted by
TAPS.
on December 29, 2006 at 10:26 AM
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Bel -
So sorry to hear that the holidays haven't been good for you. I've actually been constantly amazed at the nice things that people have been doing for others around work and in my neighborhood during this season. It has reminded me that there are good people in the world.
posted by
sannhet
on December 29, 2006 at 9:40 AM
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You are one strong, beautiful goddess! And wise, too.
The worst thing you can do is tell a child her parent doesn't love her. I know. I was a child abandoned by my dad when I was little, and it really made me mad at my grandma (mom's mom) when she'd say my dad didn't love us. I knew it, but I didn't want to hear it. So I resented hell out of her. I still treasure the fact that my mom never said a word against my dad to us kids. Believe me, Pam knows!
posted by
Pat_B
on December 29, 2006 at 8:40 AM
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bel, the holidays bring out the worst in some people and the best in others
too much is made out of one day, and when people try to manipulate feelings around that day, its a travisty....Pam is fortunate to have you guys..
...
posted by
Rumor
on December 29, 2006 at 8:14 AM
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That's just hateful
People who take out their anger at their ex's on the kids deserve to have their asses kicked. All you can do is continue to show her love and give her attention so that she realizes she is special and it's not her fault that her mother acts that way. You deserve a pat on the back!
posted by
RedHeadedGypsy
on December 29, 2006 at 8:07 AM
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You need to be careful while handling emotional issues .
posted by
afzal50
on December 29, 2006 at 5:51 AM
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BTW, you're doing the right thing by being supportive but
seemingly neutral, that's about the best you can offer aside from your love in this scenario.
posted by
CringeintheUSA
on December 29, 2006 at 4:51 AM
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Crap, Pam's Mam is a nasty 'ould boot. But what goes round comes
round, and maybe a nice week worth of a winter tummy bug might take some of the hostility out of her. Well, I'm wishing one her way anyhow.
That's just plain bloody mean, spiteful & vengeful. Christmas has never been a great time for our family either (my Mam left us a couple of weeks before Christmas 1990) brings out a whole lot of feelings both good & bad, if you're grown up enough you leave them behind you.
Please convey my warmest wishes to Pam (without letting her know what's going on), and maybe a discreet hug just for the sake of it & on behalf of the daughters of all warped mothers.
posted by
CringeintheUSA
on December 29, 2006 at 4:49 AM
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bel
It's very sad to see the kids get caught in the middle of adult issues. Pam has someone very special in you.
posted by
avant-garde
on December 29, 2006 at 1:19 AM
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Bel
So good to see you posting. I am so proud of you. The best thing you could ever do is not bad mouth her mother. I love the idea you have for the two of you when she returns. May all of you be so blessed in 2007. Honey it is not the Season it is the People who make it ugly sometimes.
posted by
Justi
on December 29, 2006 at 1:14 AM
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Some bad may have come out of it
but reading the post makes me think that some good also came out of it. It showed that you are a good person and very strong to deal with these situations. It also shows that Pam loves and respects you and I think that is the most important of all.
posted by
Tanga
on December 28, 2006 at 10:56 PM
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posted by
star4sky5
on December 28, 2006 at 8:58 PM
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Bandanafish
She is a very good girl! Thank you.
posted by
bel_1965
on December 28, 2006 at 8:56 PM
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Pam is wonderful girl. Happy New Year to the both of you.
posted by
bandanafish
on December 28, 2006 at 8:50 PM
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Holy Grail
Exactly! Pam was crushed by the comment...honestly I doubt she would have given much thought to the gifts had something not been said to her. I don't care if she is made at Carl and I or if she wants to take it out on us...but to hurt her own flesh and blood just makes my blood boil.
posted by
bel_1965
on December 28, 2006 at 8:08 PM
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Good grief, that makes me want to shake her "mother" until her brains scramble, and I don't even know them! Right, it's not about presents, but still - you just don't do something like that to a kid.
posted by
Holy_Grail
on December 28, 2006 at 8:05 PM
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Whacky
You are very right...though I must admit I am not feeling overly forgiving over Pam being hurt.
posted by
bel_1965
on December 28, 2006 at 7:37 PM
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The holiday isn't about gifts anyway.
Love, family and forgivness, is what really counts. You have got that!
posted by
Whacky
on December 28, 2006 at 7:31 PM
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