Go to From Damn Near Hell To Almost Paradise
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- Go to Some Insight Into My Hatred For Conflict
Temple
Thank you so much. I am glad that your mother was able to find her way to you. LOL I can only hope that the greatest part of our life stories won't revolve around military incompetence!
posted by
bel_1965
on December 13, 2006 at 6:58 AM
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Thank you Kingmi
posted by
bel_1965
on December 13, 2006 at 6:54 AM
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bel, you're my bud, I'm glad to see you back and whole. I knew you were tough and could fight this thing.
posted by
MaggieMae
on December 13, 2006 at 4:41 AM
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bel, I really felt your story here.
My Mom is a perfectionist... she was a drinker, and vicious. Wicked tongue. I still can't keep up with people like her. I had to let her and all of that go. She, fortunately, found a path back to me, change some things, and we can be close now. But, we never talk about how it was. My father was violent, and I understand wanting to tune it out. We all have our ways of self-preservation. I have to examine, to death, everything. That's my way. You have your way. We both ended up strong, married to men who love us (both having to deal with military incompetence.. lol... ). As far as Blogit goes, it's really easy to be a bad ass behind a computer screen with no real face-to-face consequences... and people can project anything they want here. I hope you remember that when something upsets you, it's been a hard lesson for me, too. You know who your friends are, who loves you, by their actions over time. The rest doesn't matter. I send you big hugs for sharing this and I'm glad you're feeling a bit better.
posted by
Temple
on December 13, 2006 at 3:48 AM
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bel, bless you, dear.
posted by
kingmi
on December 13, 2006 at 3:14 AM
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Holy Grail
I agree with you. For me simply shutting the webpage and stepping away was the best thing I could do.
posted by
bel_1965
on December 12, 2006 at 8:21 PM
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There is nothing wrong with ignoring or avoiding conflict, especially when someone has been through what you have. The great thing about conflict on a web site is, you can turn the darn computer off, not even go there, etc! I think a lot of people tend to forget that, and see it as "unavoidable."
posted by
Holy_Grail
on December 12, 2006 at 8:10 PM
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I know how you feel......i pray for you.
posted by
star4sky5
on December 12, 2006 at 7:58 PM
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Thank you so much Timmy
posted by
bel_1965
on December 12, 2006 at 7:57 PM
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Star
I am doing much better now, thank you. Maybe I just needed to get some of it off of my chest.
posted by
bel_1965
on December 12, 2006 at 7:55 PM
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bel
Here's a big hug for ya!!!
posted by
TIMMYTALES
on December 12, 2006 at 7:54 PM
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hey,
my hugs to you and please smile......
posted by
star4sky5
on December 12, 2006 at 7:51 PM
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Passion
that's too bad about Dave. Had he been here, he would understand better I sure. It's hard to believe that things can get that crazy in such a short period of time.
As for me, healing is a lifetime process, I just have to remember not to allow myself to try and fix everything. Thank you.
posted by
bel_1965
on December 12, 2006 at 7:22 PM
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I'm sorry for your awful childhood...
I know that memories such as this can and do greatly affect how we interact. I pray complete healing for you. Sometimes only God can fix things.
I also know that there are still some very strong feelings on both sides. Dave has been gone thru the whole ordeal. Then he pops in and writes an inflammatory post making all those who filed complaints against Blache the "Bad guys".
That isn't right. He's causing more harm than good and doesn't know what he's talking about. STuff like this will probably continue for another week or so.
I think at this point, "Ignoring it" is a good idea for us all.
posted by
Passionflower
on December 12, 2006 at 7:14 PM
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Justi
I guess in my own way, I have forgiven her because I no longer feel the need to learn how to do so. I am no longer angry about much of any of it but I do feel a deep sense of sadness for her.
posted by
bel_1965
on December 12, 2006 at 7:12 PM
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bel
I am sorry that happened to you. I don't know what sort of daemons your Mom dealt with. I know you don't have to ever have anything to do with her ever again, but you must forgive her to give your own heart peace. Even when it is pushed away it is still working on you. You are a good woman I can see that in your writing. You don't owe anyone in the world an explanation of why you feel, or how you feel, you only need to love yourself. I am thankful you have a loving husband who can validate you so you can know what a good woman you are. You be blessed dear one. Yes all are bruised and perhaps Blanche the most. We still have some very silent ones in this episode who are more dangerous. Just know you are not anyone's whipping post.
U R A
posted by
Justi
on December 12, 2006 at 7:07 PM
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Corbin
I don't know that I am strong, I just adapt to my enviroment in order to survive.
posted by
bel_1965
on December 12, 2006 at 6:47 PM
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Pat
Maybe in time, once Pam is grown, I can allow her back into my life, but for now I won't risk my child being drug through that kind of hell for even a moment.
posted by
bel_1965
on December 12, 2006 at 6:46 PM
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Taps
that is probably the finest compliment I have ever been given. Thank you so very much.
posted by
bel_1965
on December 12, 2006 at 6:44 PM
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Avant
I was very slow in seeing it, maybe because I didn't want to. I am not planning to leave, but I am being very aware of my own well being.
posted by
bel_1965
on December 12, 2006 at 6:42 PM
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Bel.....
When I read this I was at a loss for words (hard to believe?).....No wonder you are such a strong person!
posted by
Corbin_Dallas
on December 12, 2006 at 6:41 PM
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Offbeats
Thank you so very much for your very sweet word.
posted by
bel_1965
on December 12, 2006 at 6:40 PM
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Mrs. T
All the things we experience in life teach us and guide us in our choices later in life. While, I would have liked an ideal childhood, I have taken much from the lessons of those year. Thank you so very much for your kind thoughts.
posted by
bel_1965
on December 12, 2006 at 6:39 PM
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I had a mom like that. Mercurial - you never knew what would set her off
you just shut up and let her scream. Years later she told me what it was that had scared her so bad, why she was so on the edge all the while, and believe me, if she wasn't tough she'd never have made it. You can love someone dearly, be full of gratitude for all the sacrifices they made for you, and still not be able to be in the same room with them for more than a couple hours because the old habits, the old reactions to body language and cues are still working -- you still push one another's buttons. I also avoid getting into unnecessary conflict. Its Survival 101.
posted by
Pat_B
on December 12, 2006 at 3:42 PM
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Bel, What a survivor you are. My respect and my compassion go out to you. You have suffered in life what no one should have to experience. You are a wonderful and caring person, not because of what you have been through but in spite of it.
posted by
TAPS.
on December 12, 2006 at 2:58 PM
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bel
I knew this was coming with Blanche. Her behavior was becoming increasingly bizarre. She attacked me a couple of times out of nowhere, and I just ignored it. I hope you don't leave and continue with your forward progress.
posted by
avant-garde
on December 12, 2006 at 1:28 PM
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bel
Honey I am sure that if anyone can do it...you can! Most of us have had some trauma in life and grow up to be uncomfortable when presented with a similar situation. You have done a remarkable job and are a fine human being despite what happened in your early years...
posted by
Offy
on December 12, 2006 at 11:33 AM
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I am so sorry you had to endure such sadness during your childhood
years. I am glad you realised to look after yourself and that should be ones number one priority in life. Hope you feel better. Take care!
Mrs T
posted by
Tanga
on December 12, 2006 at 11:33 AM
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