In Need of Therapy

Friday, January 9, 2009

Guilded Cage

Being sick... it sucks sooooo bad. You know what sucks worse? Being sick and living with your parents who are trying to "help" you so bad, they want to control every aspect of your life. Yesterday I got into a humongous argument with my dad. He is usually the calm and collected one. The medium between my crazy mother and I. He got extremely upset because I didn't live up to our "agreements". Pttt, more like "Either do this or it will be even worse". This is just the ultimate humiliation. What... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Runs_at_dawn at 12:49 PM Add or View Comments (6) (permalink)

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Rocky's my Best Friend

Born march 15, 2006, I adopted him for $100. That is the best investment I've ever made in my whole life. He is loyal, loving, funny. when I get home he is ecstatic to see me. He runs for his favorite bone and starts a little wrestling match. He'll only calm down after a few minutes. He loves me no matter what. He doesn't care if I'm pathetic, divorced and sick. When I'm said, he's frantic, when I'm doing okay, he's relaxed and happy. He doesn't care if I don't have a social life or that I'm... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Runs_at_dawn at 7:16 PM Add or View Comments (0) (permalink)

Friday, January 2, 2009

Are people blind or is it me?

Normal 0 MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman";} The day before yesterday I had a long session with my therapist. I begged him to fix him, but lol, I don’t think he can... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Runs_at_dawn at 1:41 PM Add or View Comments (4) (permalink)

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Things I don't like about myself

I have no self esteem I'm too sensitive I don't take any type of criticism well I always take things personally I've never been popular, and never will be I'm needy I always end up attracting "the crazies" or people who want to take advantage of me I'm divorced, living with my parents and have no independence I'm weak I'm pathetic My mom loves me but does not like me I love my dad but he frustrates me I have no relationship whatsoever with my brother and he dislikes me No one respects me I talk... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Runs_at_dawn at 9:21 AM Add or View Comments (5) (permalink)

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Crazy mood swings

Yesterday I went with my parents to take Rocky to a nearby beach. I actually wore a bikini, which I haven't done in forever since I stopped going to the gym. I was in a great mood when we were driving there, but after a while, I started getting all sad about anything and started crying, thinking about what if something happened to my dogie. Of course, the depression wasn't going to give me break. After that, I was wiped out for the rest of the day, and today I have been feeling terrible. Sleepy,... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Runs_at_dawn at 1:49 AM Add or View Comments (9) (permalink)

Friday, December 26, 2008

The beggining of healing (maybe...)

I am seeing a new therapist. I really liked the one I had before, even if I felt that after a year I really hadn't made any progress. Most likely my fault. Hopefully Robert will manage the impossible. This is why I'm writing this journal. I hate feeling like this. This depression and bipolar disorder doesn't leave me alone, never abates, clouds every aspect of my life. It goes away for a little, tiny bit to then just come back stronger than ever. I'm weak, pathetic. Living with my parents at 27... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Runs_at_dawn at 3:23 PM Add or View Comments (10) (permalink)