Thoughts in Shades of Blue and Other Hues

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

I Hurt Too

You're mine, but I have no right to you. You're mine, but this isn't living truth. I'm yours, but I don't feel first with you. I'm yours, and I hate the word soon. I don't know what to do with this sad. Flowing from a place that I've never had. Once released, there's only more. I'm crying, I'm dying, my heart is sore. I'm losing. I'm not fighting my war. I've lost me. My soul is weeping, from the core. Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, December 7, 2009

Starving Heavy

I'm supposed to breathe, but I can barely move. My mind is cracking, it's breaking. My heart bleeds with it's aching. My chest screams with each breath that I'm taking. I know where I am because I've been here before. Heavy didn't knock, but he opened the door. I can see his face again. Blue black and oily with a terrible grin. Heavy waits for me to ask him in. He knows that I'm all alone, again. I'm here because I've chosen my chair. Gathered my chains. Gone back to what's there. I've swallowed... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Pure, in Truth

With every day I am closer to you. During the night, I breathe dreams of truth. Nearing closer to the time of right. I am singing blue. I am raining light. I am love, hope, and life. I am further than I've been before. I am deeper in. I am finding more. Aware and awake, I can see what is true. My thoughts are clear, and my eyes are new. I am in love with my sight. My eyes see truth. My heart shines bright. I am dusk, dawn, day and night. I am now, next, love, and right. I am holding hope. I am a... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Growing for Next

My heart is filled with what is next. The living of alive. The connection that's been blessed. Filled with love, and singing you. Awake with light. Glowing, in blue. Flowing with knowledge. Fed by truth. My heart lives like I didn't know it could. It grows in ways that I love. Ways that are good. Even the way that bleed like pain. Even the way that cries, like rain. I have more of my knowing to gain. Further truth to feed my soul. I am ready to learn, since becoming whole. With you, my heart is... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

I am, and I Will

I am more than then and now. I am far beyond why and how. I am what is, and everything there. I am next, and incredibly rare. I am water. I am fire. I am air. I am everything that I dare. My strength is stronger than my weak. My voice is learning how to speak. My thoughts are silver, entwined with blue. My learning of me, with the arrival of you. I am life. I am love. I am new. I can see, with my eyes of truth. What I want, and what I need. That I force myself not to breathe. I've always been... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, July 13, 2009

In the Deep, There is More

I am yours in time and sky. I am yours and my heart knows why. I am yours from red to blue. All that is me, I give to you. I love you because I am brand new. I am inhaling faith and exhaling truth. Free from fear, released from pain. I have only more of myself to gain. There is more of me to give back to you. Deeper, from my shades of blue. Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Love, From Blue

I love you, like the clouds love the sky. Floating and drifting, without asking why. Moving and shifting, at ease with the air. Happy to be, content with what's there. I love you, like water loves it's stream. Flowing with dreams of all that it's seen. Laughing or crying it sings it's song. In darkness and light, in dusk and at dawn. I love you, like like the moon loves the night. Glowing and pulsing with with all of it's might. Or gently breathing in the gleam of the stars. Blissfully... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Freedom is Love

We have so much more to find. Living in love, loving our rhyme. Walking together, your hand in mine. True love, cherished by time. I long for you, and the way that you breathe. Awake and dreaming, and while calm in sleep. Your touch is the only one that I need. With you, mind and body sing free. Free to love and to be loved in return. Free to let go. Free to see. Grateful to learn. Free ask and free to explain. Free to leave. Free to remain. Free to always be me. And so, I am yours, always, to... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Awake in Dreams

You are hope that fills my heart. Love I've never known. From which I'll never part. You are trust. You are life. We are marked. Stained with truth and dripping with light. Right together. Shining, even in night. You are love. You are peace. We are right. Connected, though far apart. Together, living with one heart. Love alive, shining and true. I am violet, glowing with blue. Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

A Dream is Love

Oh, how I love you, and the way that you love me. The questions you ask. The answers we seek. The way my heart sings. The calm that you bring. A rest I thought I'd never know. A happiness that continues to grow. A need I've allowed myself to want. A banishing of all the shadows that haunt. I love you both there and here. With eyes that are open. A mind that is clear. A soul that's alive. A body free from fear. A sound that is soft, yet soars in the breeze. Whispering gently. Communing in the... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

My Dream Grows Stronger

Truth grows in the spaces between. Far from hurt. Floating on dreams. Love that lives, sings, and breathes. Growth and rebirth beneath the sun. A resting peace from the races we've run. A path not marked, and a map ignored. Moving forward, the fringes of a forest explored. Taking direction from words in the wind. We are guided by what leads within. The edge of the wood, though barely seen. What was, will live forever in dreams. In ours, and in those we left. In my heart, and yours, and... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Truth Reveals What's There

Like the wind, I am at peace with the sky. I am no longer afraid of the open wide. What floats through and weaves between. Visions of ghosts that I've never seen. What I've always known was there. What I willfully ignored. Terrified to care. I have shed my fear of air. It's all you, and it's all me. What was before. What has yet to be. I can hear it in the sighs of the trees. We live in the spaces that breathe. Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Dreaming with Truth

Nothing else matters, but what I know as truth. It's real and it lives, breathing gently in blue. I am surrounded now, and in the morning, and every night. By truth that is real, and a reality that is right. It's mine. It's also yours. Together, we are light. A light that's been shining since the universe was dark. A gleam that existed before time. A flash that started the spark. A fire, that burns in my heart. A flame that's fluid, beautiful, and pure. A warmth that is tender, wrapped in new. A... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Right is Freeing

In a time of sadness and letting go, I am uplifted, and I am whole. I released my anger today. I felt it melt away. I feel worthy now, of the words you don't say. My heart is full of truth, blissfully singing a soft song. The song is real. It carries me through. I am ready now, completely, and only for you. Yours in heart and spirit, in all time and need. We fill the air and ride gently on the breeze. From here to there, and the space between. You are a joy that brings me down on my knees. I am... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Wrong is Told What's Right isn't Wrong

Guilt, lies, manipulation and shame. Everything is different. It's exactly the same. No matter what is done, no matter the words silent or said. This is over. What never lived is dead. Your path to heaven looks like my road to hell. I am so weary of living in this game. You were taught well. And so I won't join you, and I am not staying here. I have everything to gain. I have released my fear. You still have no idea who I am. Why what you are doing is so very wrong. Why I have never held your... Sign in to see full entry.

Moving to Right

The moment I am ready to face my fear, I must begin walking. I could waste time. I could continue my voiceless manner of talking. Say nothing as it rises inside. Slaughter him calmly, with my mind. Hurt becomes ugly and then turns into fear. When the weight is too much, it begins to run clear. I am everything that is there. I am nothing that is here. And so I begin, with my heart of truth in my chest. My heavy dissolving with each and every each step. Driven to walk by the gift with which I've... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

I am Ready

This is the next walk of fire that I face. One that leads to the next, until my patterns break. With each step, I am more. I will be worthy of you. I'm ending my wars. Begone with the boxes and lines that hold me back. I am freeing the soul that I've trapped. I am letting it soar, and I will live brand new. At peace with everything me. Balanced, with all that is you. Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, June 26, 2009

My Dreams are Right, and You are Not.

I'm tired of fake, wrong, and living with lies. I through with yours, and I'm letting go of mine. I'm finished silently screaming at this cloudless sky. It's above me, but it isn't mine. I'm slowing down the universe. Worlds dying in endless wait. I'm ending my curse. Without guilt, and free of blame. A knowledge of what was and from the place it came. I am fire. You're not even a flame. Sign in to see full entry.

In Sleep, I Grow

I find myself speaking to those whom I normally wouldn't. Searching for eyes I know I won't see. Accepting what comes my way. Leaving worry to wander free. I am a part of you, and yet I am all me. Joyous in smile, and happy to bleed. Deep in sleep, I lie with what is true. I am myself, but I am absorbing you. Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Friends of Everything Right

I am blessed with a friend of my own heart, and graced with the presence of the ever connected friend of my spirit. Newly arrived, is a friend of my soul. They are all completely different, yet exactly the same. Bright, burning lights, but each with their own flame. My friend of heart has been with me since most timid of days. I loved her then for her defiant, free spirit. I adore her for it, now. My friend of heart helps to feed my courage. My friend of spirit arrived later in life. It was... Sign in to see full entry.

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