Tuesday, April 3, 2007
The Sea is a Cruel Mistress
Fifteen British sailors strayed into Iranian waters. Fourteen male crew and one woman. It doesn't take a genius to work out who was reading the map.
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Sunday, March 18, 2007
Happy Mother's Day
It's Mother's Day in England today. Dedicated to you, my mother. Thanks for not making it apparent that you knew I was using the hoover to masturbate with when you walked into my bedroom that time. Looking back now, it was pretty obvious I wasn't hoovering my cupboard out at all and perhaps, maybe I...
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Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Ode to a Mechanic, or whatever
Oh Gargage Man, Oh bastard, bastard Garage Man. I hate you, and I hate your family Those who spawned you should be brought back to life, so I could shoot them in the face and genitalia regions, just to make sure your greasy hands could definitely never fix another car ever again. And by fix I mean...
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Monday, January 16, 2006
I have a car and his name is Vladimir the Tosser
Here is a song I'm dedicating to my 1997 Ford Escort Bastard-mobile. It kind of sums up my feelings towards it. Or maybe it doesn't. (CHOIR BOY): Oh Escort Every day, I hate you Oh Escort, Every day, I want to kill you, ooo-oooh...... You can dance, you can drive, Having the time of your life, oo,...
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