Friday, August 1, 2014
Several women, each trying to one-up the other, appeared in court, each accusing the others of causing the trouble they were having in the apartment building where they lived. The judge, with Solomon-like wisdom decreed, "Okay, I'm ready to hear the evidence...I'll hear the oldest first." The case... Sign in to see full entry.
Monday, July 28, 2014
A MOVING REQUEST
Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. "Boss," he says, "we're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff." "We're short-handed, Smith," the boss replies. "I can't give you the day off."... Sign in to see full entry.
Tuesday, July 22, 2014
SUMMERTIME - JUST HOW HOT IS IT?
Just how hot is it today? The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground. The trees are whistling for the dogs. The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance. Hot water now comes out of both taps. You can make sun tea instantly. You learn that a seat belt buckle... Sign in to see full entry.
Saturday, July 19, 2014
BIG CLUB!
A Hunter walking through the jungle found a huge dead elephant with a pigmy standing beside it. Amazed, he asked: "Did you kill that?" The pigmy said, "Yes." The hunter asked, "How could a little bloke like you kill a huge beast like that?" "I killed it with my club." The astonished hunter asked,... Sign in to see full entry.
Thursday, July 17, 2014
CAFETERIA FOOD - DIGESTIVELY CHALLENGED
Political Correctness For Kids Your bedroom isn't cluttered; it's "passage-restrictive." Kids don't get in trouble anymore. They merely hit "social speed bumps." You're not having a bad hair day; you're suffering from "rebellious follicle syndrome." No one's tall anymore. They're "vertically... Sign in to see full entry.
Monday, July 14, 2014
A GUT LIKE YOU
Seen in the Cafeteria At work, my dad noticed that the name of an employee was the same as an old friend. He found the man's e-mail addy and sent him a message. When Dad received a reply, he was insulted and fired back another e-mail: "I have put on some weight, but I didn't realize it was that... Sign in to see full entry.
Thursday, July 10, 2014
OUCH! KNEEL CAREFULLY
We live in a small town where we have a volunteer Ambulance Corp. We are blessed with many dedicated and fully qualified attendants, who staff our ambulances and give freely of themselves. I was chatting with one of the EMS responders one day and she could hardly stifle a chuckle, so I asked her... Sign in to see full entry.
Sunday, July 6, 2014
JUST PRETEND
Although this married couple enjoyed their new fishing boat together, it was the husband who was behind the wheel operating the boat. Still, he was concerned about what might happen in an emergency. So one day out on the lake he said to his wife, "Honey, take the wheel... Pretend that I am having a... Sign in to see full entry.
Friday, July 4, 2014
SHEEP DOG?
Years ago, when our daughters were very young, we'd drop them off at our church's children's chapel on Sundays before the eleven o'clock service. One Sunday, just as I was about to open the door to the small chapel, the minister came rushing up in full vestments. He said he had an emergency and... Sign in to see full entry.
Wednesday, July 2, 2014
RELAX DOC
A man was seen fleeing down the hall of the hospital just before his operation. "What's the matter?" he was asked. He said, "I heard the nurse say, 'It's a very simple operation, don't worry, I'm sure it will be all right.'" "She was just trying to comfort you, what's so frightening about that?"... Sign in to see full entry.