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Friday, October 28, 2005

Is Missing That A Bad Thing?

I don't really want to write today. I am tired of explaining myself. It's like, "Who cares, really?" I know that is not true. I am fighting so very hard, not to have to go back on my meds. Needing them, the meds, saddens me, but I am not prone to rational thought at times, like maybe now. I would be... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Such A Babe In The Woods....The Captain.....

I am jamming to some Smokey Robinson right now and thinking about the full moon just past, and how the Universe gives us just what we need, exactly when we need it, if we are open. I got an email from The Captain yesterday. I didn't answer it because I have been busy. So, I got a very sweet e-card... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

I Told Him "Maybe"

I find myself comparing myself to how I was in May when I started this. At the time, I was seeing the shrink once a month, and seeing a counsellor three times a week. I was still taking four different prescriptions a day of various drugs, nine pills a day. I was taking Depakote, Effexor, Zoloft, and... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, October 14, 2005

"The Captain's Girlfriend"...And Other Absurd Thoughts

If I were single, what an interesting proposal..... If I were single, I could be The Captain's Girlfriend, if I wanted that. Funny thing is that I don't think I would be really happy being "The Captain's Girlfriend." Hard for me to say, though, since all we had was just 'us', no family connections,... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Dreaming Of Asheville

My Boytoy called me yesterday and left a message, asked me to please call him, he was sorry he hadn't called. I've listened to the message quite a few times now, just because his deep voice is like velvet against my ear. He says he misses me, and he's sorry. He said he liked my poem. I sent it to... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, October 5, 2005

Chasing At Will

I'd write you a letter But I don't know where to send it. I don't believe in burning bridges So I won't just end it. I'm curious to see where life takes you, Good, or bad, right, or wrong. I want to hear of your adventures, And how it is that life made you strong. Kindred spirits, that's what we... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, October 4, 2005

Oh My God!! He's GAY!!

I am listening to Regina Belle's 'Passion' CD that I bought at Goodwill on Sunday. Great CD! I love it! One of the young women I work was very surprised to learn that I even knew who Regina Belle is, let alone that I knew Peabo Bryson sang the 'Aladdin' theme song with her. A***** is about 19. I... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, September 30, 2005

Harold Melvin, Luther Ingram, and It's All Good

Friday, September 30 9:00 P.M. Humiliation. If I allowed myself, I could really wallow in it tonight. Thing is, it's all good. The things I have done, in particular the past two weeks have all been calculated risks. Didn't I write just last Sunday that I had nothing to lose by pushing the button? I... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, September 26, 2005

Beaches and Boytoys

Monday, September 25 4:55 P.M. I have changed clothes, washed my face, spritzered myself with a bit of Ciera, and put some lavender lotion on my hands and arms. It is so nice not to be smelling fried chicken! LOL! I did see my Boytoy last night. We met at the Waffle House where we always meet. He... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, September 25, 2005

Pushing The Button And Ejecting Safely

Sunday, September 25 9:29 A.M. My Boytoy wants to meet tonight, and I have the day off from work, so I could, but I am not going to meet him tonight. I probably should meet him, I am miffed with him right now and we need to talk. He wants to meet in a motel. I said, "No," because he can't get free... Sign in to see full entry.

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