https://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/Mama.Dragonfly8521/Internet lovers have saved me.....after the drugs nearly killed me. Only the music remains the same. I can't write the music; but I can write the words, words that echo my life. And just like the life the words echo, the music shifts, sometimes quietly, and sometimes with life-altering crescendos. hourly12000-01-01T12:00+00:00https://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/Mama.Dragonfly8521/676719The silence engulfs me on a harsh Sunday morning, Except for the music played low, so only I hear. Emptiness surrounds, and the quiet is muffled, Alone in my corner, I face my fear. I feel her all around me For she has become my lover. She mocks me in the mirror And tells me there will be no...https://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/Mama.Dragonfly8521/670777I have found him....please read my entry for March...https://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/Mama.Dragonfly8521/650651I have come to the conclusion that I am careening out of control. That said, what to do about it? I will eat more, and stay at home! I am bipolar, and a symptom of the disorder is promiscuity. I do not want to take the meds, because I get fat, and plod through my days like a zombie. I didn't...https://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/Mama.Dragonfly8521/647637I didn't wear it on Sunday. In fact, I haven't worn it at all. He ended up falling into a bottle of Valium, his words, and therein lies the problem. Dunno what happened there, but will not pursue it. Will not go there. I have been talking to a local man on the phone. He drives a truck, and...https://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/Mama.Dragonfly8521/645925Friday night, and I am alone. Perfectly okay. I am listening to the radio, "I Still Haven't Found What I Am Looking For." I think Sting did it. Not sure. He did call, my latest flirtation. He found my earring. He said something about a 'reward', and we made plans to see each other Sunday night....https://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/Mama.Dragonfly8521/645635Hard to know exactly what I am feeling, except alone, and that could be changed by my picking up the phone. I kinda like being alone, to think my thoughts, and learn to love myself as much as I have loved the men who have come into my life, and gone. I, only, am left with me, and I got the better...https://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/Mama.Dragonfly8521/644915Ah! So I have secured this spot for me to vent, to rant, to cry, to explain, to tell, to chronical the evolving of the me I am becoming, for the next two years. I got my taxes back today, so I rewarded myself! THIS has become my escape. Every word I write is true, but the experiences I chronicle...https://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/Mama.Dragonfly8521/642399Day One of second job down. Orientation, which is always really boring in the food service industry. I am excited about the job, though! I already have a couple guys supposed to come up tomorrow night to have a beer and see me. I am not holding my breath. I went out Wednesday night for my...https://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/Mama.Dragonfly8521/641691I don't know how I would function were I not able write. I didn't write while I lived with him. There is about a two year gap in this blog. I am glad it was still here when I came back. One of my biggest regrets is losing a journal with the last letter my father ever sent me used as the bookmark,...https://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/Mama.Dragonfly8521/641533That nasty double shift is behind me, and I have one more day, then I have four days off from there! Yeah. I start my second job on Tuesday. I am excited about it! It will give me something to do with my time, and I can think of no better way to spend my time than making money and meeting people!...