MELANCHOLY MADNESS ....

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

DARK PROSE ~ CHILD ABUSE

He is usually there. Usually present in the shadows of my self conscience. Almost lurking and ready to pounce when I am vulnerable and weak. He is the one that took hold of my soul and holds it in a tiny little dark box, buried somewhere where I cannot find it. Although my eyes have been closed a... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, April 17, 2006

Tormented

Tormented. That is the closest word used to define my mind today, yesterday and the day before. Aching is the word that best describes my heart. How is it possible to feel so damn alone? Empty. This word best represents the entire core of my being. To feel this way is difficult to put into words... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Crashing...

Like a crashing wave swallowing a gnarled piece of driftwood and holding it beneath the surface - just long enough to make you think it was snagged on something below, to never return again - my depression has returned. Tumbling this way and that, my thoughts are in cerebral overdrive. Like a... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Death Clock Countdown ...

Her head slumps forward and I try to make her more comfortable. It is horrible. I have seen this before but not this close up. Her eyes swollen and heavy with little shimmer. Her neck is forever crooked and a downward gaze is her window of sight. I can't remember the last time I saw her smile. I... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, December 19, 2005

DEAR CANCER ....

Dear Cancer, I hate you! As I sit here helplessly watching you slowly extinguish my mothers life I can't help but feel pitty for you. Your are weak and misunderstood. I am learning from your mistakes - a tough lesson I admit. I will not be angry with you, nor will I call you names. Your talent is... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

THE DEATHBAG SURROUNDS HER ....

Well here I am again. It has been a long while since I spent time here writing to you lovely people. I am now facing death right smack in the middle as I watch my mother die. It is amazing how this life takes us down so many paths that twist and turn but no matter what we do, we are never truly... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, February 11, 2005

EXCUSE ME?

Excuse me, but do I know you from somewhere? I thought I fell in love with you a long time ago. Your words have become sharpened knives ~ meat cleavers. Chopping and hacking away at my very last ounce of strength. You once brought me to a higher place, a higher plane of life but now I am left to... Sign in to see full entry.

When Darkness Falls

There are times I feel like I don't even exist except in my own mind........a figment of my imagination. In my mind I can be secure, self-confidant and self-assured, someone who could conquer the world. Deep down I'm scared......I feel alone. I feel like the world will swallow me up and send me out... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, February 5, 2005

DARK PROSE ~ CHILD ABUSE ...

He is usually there. Usually present in the shadows of my self conscience. Almost lurking and ready to pounce when I am vulnerable and weak. He is the one that took hold of my soul and holds it in a tiny little dark box, buried somewhere where I cannot find it. Although my eyes have been closed a... Sign in to see full entry.

DARK PROSE ~ A moment of suicidal ideation ....

DISTURBING but merely PROSE... To rip the voice box from your throat would not extinguish the sting that your forked tongue inflicts upon my heart. The red I see has clouded my thoughts and suicide again dominates my mind. I wish to grab the razor blade from the cupboard and slash my wrists. As the... Sign in to see full entry.

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