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        Dear Reader,
You're doubtless here because something I said in a blog or a comment intrigued or infuriated you.  "Who is this guy?"  you're wondering.  "Where does he get off?"  Well, if you'd really like to know who I am and where I get off, you may email me.  I promise, you'll be treated as nicely as you treat me.
Here are a few tips for contacting me:
(1)  Be polite.
(2)  Spell correctly.
(3)  Think logically.
If you can do those things, I'd love to hear from you.  However, if you can't be polite, don't expect me to return the favor; if you can't spell correctly, don't expect me to read very much of your email; and if you can't think logically, don't expect me to take you seriously.
Despite those potentially intimidating requests, I'm really a nice guy and would probably enjoy talking with you.
Yours,
Reed McCollum