About Discombobulated78

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Basically I'm here because I'm trying to prod myself into writing more. I've been writing since I was five, writing poetry since I was 13 (and it's my chosen form of self-expression), and it's something that I pretty much stopped doing for a long time, until about 16 months ago when I got back in touch with an old friend (who I used to write poetry with), and now inspiration strikes much more often.

I'm American, and have just left New Zealand to chase a dream back in the US. Before that, I lived with my husband in New Zealand (he's a New Zealander, he's great and I don't deserve him). I've been  missing my friends and family in the US. I have a bit of a reserved, rational image, this is what people perceive in first impressions, and it's something I am, it's not just an image, so I thought I would be just fine without the people I've spent most of my life with (I don't need anybody, I thought!) but... it turns out I'm a big softie. Though that doesn't mean I'll wear my heart on my sleeve for just anyone.

And from all of that, it goes without saying I'm at an awkward part of my life right now. In fact it feels startlingly like I'm back in grade school, when nothing seemed to fit and nothing I did seemed to feel right. I'm isolated, and I'm tired of it, but... not really sure what to do about it at this point. For years, I found companionship on the internet, then for a few years I got away from that (except for a couple of close friends, and meeting my husband on the internet through one of those friends).

I write poetry to express myself, though I have high standards as a writer so I do try to keep my poetry above a certain standard (I'm very critical of myself so I think that only a few of my poems are actually "good"). I used to write a LOT when I was in college; I have a BA in English and I was co-editor-in-chief of my campus newspaper. But after college, I got out of writing articles and papers, and also abandoned my hopes of love, and the dramas that ensued in pursuing relationships, so the poetry dried up. The poetry tends to come for me when I'm feeling passionate about someone, or something. Passion all but dried up for me, until recently. But now, I'm trying to figure out what I'm doing with the passion I've resurrected because the direction I had wanted to take isn't panning out.

Some miscellaneous "laundry list" stuff about me: I love movies, books, and music. I lost a lot of weight a few years ago and I'm still trying to lose more (but I'm basically just treading water). I was born and raised in Illinois, but never quite felt at home there. I love cooking, swimming, watching Mythbusters (my favorite show, besides Seinfeld). I'm seriously thinking of going back to school, finally going to grad school and studying philosophy (my best subject when I was in college). I just haven't decided for sure if I'm doing it. I'm learning how to play chess (I usually get my butt kicked when I play against my husband). I currently work in administration, as a personal assistant. I'm no longer of any religion in particular. I have no children (don't know if I'll ever have any either). And (my favorite phrase of late) I have yet to find a convincing purpose for my life.

Location:

United States

Primary occupation:

Administration

Dream occupation:

Singer

Hometown:

Rushville Illinois

Schools attended:

Rushville High School, Quincy University

I like:

Stuff

Favorite writers:

Anne Rice, Franz Kafka, D. H. Lawrence, William Blake, Shakespeare, Edgar Allen Poe, there are others I can't think of right now

Favorite books:

Phantom by Susan Kay, most books by Anne Rice (not Blood Canticle, oh God no!), Lady Chatterley's Lover by D. H. Lawrence. I don't actually read much fiction anymore

Favorite newspapers:

The Onion!

Favorite magazines:

The NZ Listener

Favorite music:

Depends on my mood but in general, heavy metal

Favorite movies:

Too many to list but Oceans 11 and 12 are my current favorites. When I'm in the mood for a tearjerker, it's The Notebook

Favorite TV shows:

Mythbusters, Seinfeld, Penn and Teller: Bullshit

Gender:

Female

Religion:

None