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You have been put in a very bad family situation 

posted by Chuck_E_Ibrahim on March 3, 2017 at 10:26 AM | link to this | reply

Sam

I completely concur with what appears to be the consensus - it's time to wash your hands of this situation! There really doesn't seem to be anything constructive you can do...

posted by Nautikos on March 3, 2017 at 10:20 AM | link to this | reply

Well you have been doing this forever Sam. It does seem you me that you thrive on working through problems. Remember how you struggled to get your house and the pain when your son was at war. I think you deserve to think of yourself a little more, you can't be everyone's Angel.

posted by C_C_T on March 3, 2017 at 10:12 AM | link to this | reply

I feel that giving up on her is the best way to go right now. Sadly, she is not willing to take your advice and there is the danger with her son. 

It really reminds me of my aunt. She is not great with money, and her daughter, my cousin, is on heroin.

posted by FormerStudentIntern on March 3, 2017 at 9:32 AM | link to this | reply

I'm clean and am just proud that I paid the $30.00 in balance due to the Social Security for overpayment today.

posted by BC-A on March 3, 2017 at 8:52 AM | link to this | reply

and I thought I was too nice to my family and bad with my budget

posted by Lanetay on March 3, 2017 at 8:49 AM | link to this | reply

Re:

You My dear Sam I am have walked the extra mile. I agree with you that from now on it is just enabling the line of disasters starting with the Son and ending with you.

Lists of help agents are a great idea to give her. Don't ever weaken even in the middle of the night to take her into your place. Call the Salvos or someone if she is on the street. I know that Wiley would duggest calling the police onto the son but beighbors...it is a tough call. You do live on your own.

Will be praying for this situation to have an outcome that doesn't hurt you. I have been praying for your friend but now will change it and ask God for his will to prevail. xx

posted by Kabu on March 3, 2017 at 8:44 AM | link to this | reply

I agree with everyone saying, it is time to leave her to her own excuses.

I'd tell her why as kindly but directly as possible, maybe supply her with a list of organizations and services to help her, maybe a list of homeless shelters. She could use that, or pass it along to her son.

Everything here is her choice, and she is stuck between being a 'good' person and a responsible person. Clearly, she needs some personal counseling, too. 

posted by Ciel on March 3, 2017 at 7:28 AM | link to this | reply

You did all you can....if she refuses to listen then put your foot down and tell her the truth...you can't entertain any more of her pity parties because of the toll it is taking on you. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink!

posted by Annicita on March 2, 2017 at 8:30 PM | link to this | reply

So many wrong decisions.  What a downward spiral this is.  A miracle is definitely needed.

posted by TAPS. on March 2, 2017 at 8:18 PM | link to this | reply

As painful as it is for me to even say it, to me, the kindest thing you can do at this point is to stop delaying what the inevitable will bring; their crash-and-burn from drug addiction. They all seem dysfunctional to the point where they may need more help than you can give them right now. So sad.  

posted by Sea_Gypsy on March 2, 2017 at 7:49 PM | link to this | reply