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Krisles, fear not

Your mother is still there, in all her glory.....  her worldly container is just wearing out.

My 89-year old mother is just the opposite.  Her memory is amazing, she remembers every little detail and constantly talks about them.  But her body is failing.  I am so thankful that her mind is remaining unassaulted by age.

But regardless of how age affects our bodies (including the brain),  our souls remain uncorrupted.  Such is my belief.

posted by GoldenMean on December 10, 2015 at 3:17 AM | link to this | reply

Such a haunting and sad yet beautiful post. Those we minister to on Sundays one group is like that, all of them. They are so sweet, in and out of the scene. It is one of the most beautiful experiences to have them appear to be sorry for you because they feel it is you who has lost it. I love them. We lost one last week who was so precious.

posted by Justi on November 23, 2015 at 12:05 PM | link to this | reply

I can only imagine how difficult it must be to lose one we love little by little in that way. I've only ever had to deal with physical loss, from cancer, and had a glimpse now and then of memory lapses caused by the drugs used to treat the illness. My heart goes out to you.

posted by adnohr on November 23, 2015 at 12:32 AM | link to this | reply

Cut an onion and place it cut side up on a table in your bedroom. Throw it away in the morning...Don't use!  It will absorb alot of what is causing the problems and you should feel much better in the morning

 

posted by Annicita on November 22, 2015 at 8:36 AM | link to this | reply

Poignantly written; very touching...

Too bad about the poor tree; I had a Bradford pear tree that I attempted to save several years ago after it was damaged in a storm. Had the nursery people come out and look at it, they put a band around the trunk to try to strengthen it against winds, etc.  It came almost completely down the next spring but the tree gods know I tried..:)

posted by Katray2 on November 21, 2015 at 4:57 PM | link to this | reply

There came a point when I saw that my mom was no longer the Mom I grew up with, not the Mom who with Dad visited rarely in my adult years. She  also lived increasingly with confusion and occasional distress when she misconstrued something she was told, or could recall the face of a grandchild. As her body failed her, her world became smaller and smaller. I could still love her and cherish her, laugh and chat with her, but truth is, it is no longer what they can give us, but what we can give them.  And even at 92, she had her times of clarity when Mom was still there.

 

posted by Ciel on November 21, 2015 at 4:53 PM | link to this | reply

Well K. I guess a lot of us will eventually lose a lot of our own character. Perhaps we retain that which we thought was beautiful in another few million brain cells. It could mean the difference between living in conflict or harmony. Sadly too many that I have known ended in conflict.

posted by C_C_T on November 20, 2015 at 10:45 AM | link to this | reply

Krisles

There is that first part - about your Mom's 'confusion' about where she is - and I wonder if that is not her mind's subconscious refusal to accept these changes, a kind of defense shielding her...And I fully understand your thoughts on the way home - I know we learn to see the world through the eyes of our mothers and fathers, and to a certain degree we 'become' them, which can be a blessing but sometimes also a curse...

posted by Nautikos on November 20, 2015 at 7:39 AM | link to this | reply

You have come up with a wise conclusion, one of which that I have noticed with many people, that they have a part of their loved ones inside of them forever. I feel the same way about mine.

posted by FormerStudentIntern on November 20, 2015 at 5:06 AM | link to this | reply