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Pat
Well, obviously I need to go to bed....I meant to address that to you, Pat!
posted by
Krisles
on April 12, 2015 at 9:21 PM
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Krisles
Well, I'm really interested in these comments. Ma'am is a word that comes automatically after 'yes' to any other woman regardless of age now most times to me....it's just how I and every other person pretty much in my vicinity was raised. You would probably die if you worked where I do and all the younger folks raised with good manners (by their grandma's for the most part for the black ones in Texas but white ones in other southern states) refer to all of the older women as Ms.Darla and Ms.Janie and it is always Yes, Ma'am....I would expect nothing less and I give it right back to them with the Ma'am with any response, no matter their age...... It's just manners in this part of the country. Being a contraction of Madam, it was for any married woman originally and for good manners any woman past a certain age was just assumed to be married. I use it with folks all over the country on the phone and never get a bit of flack....and, in fact, the courtesy conveyed works like the old "honey catches more flies than vinegar" and maybe it's the tone of voice but most folks seem to recognize it as a sign of respect for the person you say it to. I'm curious about what you folks grew up saying to older folks when you responded to them....did you just say 'yes' and 'no'?
posted by
Krisles
on April 12, 2015 at 9:20 PM
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I've taught my children who are now adults to always treat any person older than them with respect. As we grow older we tend to notice it more. It used to bother me but then I much prefer to hear madam than hey you!
posted by
Annicita
on April 12, 2015 at 9:18 PM
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Good post. More and more i get people asking if they can help me. I just laugh because I know they are trying to be helpful, but it burns down deep. LOL
posted by
TAPS.
on April 12, 2015 at 8:59 PM
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sometimes Wiley uses Ma'am and he is so respectful when he does, i find it very endearing...but then in Australia no one uses Ma'am so perhaps is why I enjoy.
I have been invisible for years, ever since I left the work force ...I suppose I got used to it. Sometimes though, I behave badly. Walking through the shop smiling gently at all the other women, and getting frosy little smiles back. I love to see the ice fall off their cheeks. Some times I just start chatting...that upsets people. But the person at the check out always gets thankyou and smiles. They have a tough job.
posted by
Kabu
on April 12, 2015 at 7:02 PM
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PatB
I relate to all that, people always wanting to help me 'cuz I'm old. I have cured some of that with the telephone scams now. My message says, and I never answer the telephone unless I see a name and telephone number calling me. "Hello, I see no name or telephone number calling me, so be aware I won't answer this call if that is the case, you just don't exist."
posted by
WileyJohn
on April 12, 2015 at 6:26 PM
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I don't mind being invisible most of the time. Gives me more chance to watch the 'visible' people.
posted by
adnohr
on April 12, 2015 at 12:17 PM
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Well one assistant asked me if I was over eighteen as I had a couple of bottles of wine with my groceries. I looked at her and asked are you joking? She said. 'No Sir you would be surprised how many folk look over eighteen and the are under that age. ' I thought Cor blimey.
posted by
C_C_T
on April 12, 2015 at 12:10 PM
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I think this qualifies as "differently visible"
and that the real invisibility comes when one moves into the home where no one visits, no one calls, no one gives a damn if you can get your purchase to the car, or not. "Ma'am" is the first clue that those times are coming, if you don't get that loud red and purple hat, and a stick to pound on the floor now and then.
posted by
Ciel
on April 12, 2015 at 11:52 AM
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Oh dear
I offer to help older shoppers with their bags all the time...but I swear, I'm only trying to help and I never call them ma'am...
posted by
Mia890
on April 12, 2015 at 9:44 AM
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Pat
LOL! Where are they when I need them? When I'm cruising the aisles, looking for that special Japanese soy sauce for sashimi, of which they only have to bottles anyway, and that have been moved once again, and the jars of tahini that I need for the hummus I make, and on and on - THERE'S NEVER ANYONE AROUND! I've been knwn to accost a lady that looked like she belonged there, only to discover she was just another lost shopper...
posted by
Nautikos
on April 12, 2015 at 7:31 AM
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