Go to Life in the fast lane--where's the on ramp?
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No need to apologize at all--it's just my thing. I hope you will publish it and I will read it again.
posted by
TAPS.
on April 6, 2015 at 11:42 PM
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If you are not going to separate by chapters when changing pov you might consider doing a series of asterisks before new pov to it is easier to tell
posted by
Annicita
on April 6, 2015 at 5:17 PM
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PatB
Oops, of coure you are right and I am older, I forgot. I'm a lousy editor.
posted by
WileyJohn
on April 6, 2015 at 3:25 PM
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Thank you for acknowledging all our meant to be helpful editing tips and glad if anything I wrote you has helped. You really are brilliant at dialogue and portraying traits of your characters.
posted by
Kabu
on April 6, 2015 at 11:59 AM
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It always amuses me, well it is actually a minor irritation when for instance there has been a battle of sorts and the six or seven good men who have been slain deserve to be buried. So the remainder usually roughly the same number dig graves with their swords, a spade would be hard enough.
Another thing the heroin or hero never seems to want to poo, although they eat a hearty meal each day out in the woods. The men never take there armor off I bet they used to get piles. I would not have noticed your car incident until Naut pointed it out so it was only a minor slip.
posted by
C_C_T
on April 6, 2015 at 11:57 AM
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I did read your post yesterday, but my visitors showed up before I had time to comment, but thanks for the mention, LOL! I don't know enough about trucks to give my idea there but, like Anicita, the ending was too fast for me. Then again, it's like reading a good book - we just want the story to go on and on because we're right in there and enjoying it so much and we feel kinda lost when it ends.You will post your re-write of this chapter when it's done?
Please.
posted by
adnohr
on April 6, 2015 at 6:18 AM
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Pat
I know all about that ongoing, eternal fight with commas - even though I'm someone who always tries for the least number of key strokes.... And Bremerton, eh? The family always wondered where that good-for-nothing ended up, LOL...
posted by
Nautikos
on April 6, 2015 at 6:01 AM
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