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- Go to All Downhill -- conclusion
You did a great job of making everything seem so real. I feel like I was there.
posted by
TAPS.
on April 6, 2015 at 11:46 PM
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Pat
Well, I just caught up on the whole thing and it was just fantastic! You are such a talented writer I can't believe you don't have a huge best seller out there....or do you?! You have such a realistic way with dialogue.....and the plot on this portion of the story developed so smoothly and was to me, personally, more 'seeing' and less 'telling' that is supposed to be another mark of a good author that I know I don't even need to try to attempt! I enjoyed this part of the story more than the portion that involved Harm going to jail....the action, the way it flowed, everything...but that's just me.
posted by
Krisles
on April 5, 2015 at 10:39 PM
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PatB
I'd have to know if that truck was a 2 or 4 wheel drive before I could comment technically really. However it sure was a dramatic ending kiddo.
posted by
WileyJohn
on April 5, 2015 at 1:48 PM
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Re: Naut,,, again
Thanks for the hint. I'll slam the truck. And I do want to see Clyde get his just desserts, because he's such a cowardy-custard, easy-way-out sort of opportunist. Although he did have a rough childhood and suffered early on.
posted by
Pat_B
on April 5, 2015 at 1:33 PM
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Pat
Since we are getting technical here, as ultimately we must, LOL: It's extremely unlikely the tires would be spinning long once the truck had come to a stop, unless the gas pedal was jammed to the floor; and even if it was and they did, grinding rubber tires don't create a fire, just a lot of smoke...Mind you, Katie might think there could be a fire, and be afraid of that...A more realistic scenario would be for the truck to slam into the rocks, the engine stopping, the gas line rupturing and spewing gas on the hot engine, causing a fire that way...
And I'd like to see Madigan cringe, rather than be allowed to take the easy way out - but that's just my vindictive nature, LOL...
posted by
Nautikos
on April 5, 2015 at 12:21 PM
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Re: Naut - about the truck's momentum
I had a problem with these dynamics, myself. I don't think Joey would have put it in gear, maybe wouldn't even have started the engine, as the slope alone would have sent it careening down. But I wanted the tires to spin & make smoke to bring the threat of fire. Katie would have had a deathly fear of fire, which she'd have to overcome. I'll work on this.
As for Clyde - the story's not over. I'm thinking of having him run off the side of a cliff on the way out of town, but that's a bit too Alfred Hitchcock-ish don't you think?
posted by
Pat_B
on April 5, 2015 at 11:15 AM
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well I don't know about trucks and stuff...so i leave that bit to the experts but it is a great ending...but Madison will get his in the full book story I am sure.
posted by
Kabu
on April 5, 2015 at 10:52 AM
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Quite dramatic as Naut says just change the trucks momentum or some car guys might pick on that, darned nuisance but better now than later.
posted by
C_C_T
on April 5, 2015 at 9:49 AM
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all great except the ending paragraph could be another whole entry...tying it up too fast
posted by
Annicita
on April 5, 2015 at 9:19 AM
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all great except the ending paragraph could be another whole entry...tying it up too fast
posted by
Annicita
on April 5, 2015 at 9:19 AM
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hyis??? LOL...
posted by
Nautikos
on April 5, 2015 at 6:15 AM
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Pat
Well, an excellent, dramatic finish - but I still want Madigan to get hyis, LOL...
One minor quibble - if the wheels of that truck were still spinning forward (it would have been more likely the engine and they would heave stopped on impact), the truck would not magically roll backwards after the engine finally stopped, unless someone had put the gear in neutral...
posted by
Nautikos
on April 5, 2015 at 6:15 AM
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