Go to Life in the fast lane--where's the on ramp?
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PatB
I loved that poem, so concise yet full of life.
posted by
WileyJohn
on October 17, 2014 at 6:23 PM
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what a wonderful poem ...you of the many talents...but shy and innocent at 15 to me is desirable. Such a dangerous age when I could lock all males away from her except for brothers and her Dad....oops I got caught up with thinking of my Granddaughter again. LOL.
posted by
Kabu
on October 17, 2014 at 4:33 PM
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I have known of a few servers who got over their shyness once they got going with the job.
posted by
FormerStudentIntern
on October 17, 2014 at 4:21 PM
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Sometimes I read things I have written and I think that is not what I meant. This finished really nicely.
posted by
C_C_T
on October 17, 2014 at 11:53 AM
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Pat
Amazing what changing just one word can do - one pregnant with meaning, LOL, the other one with less earthy connotations, more accepting of the way life unfolds and in this context more optimistic...The sense of melancholy has lifted...
posted by
Nautikos
on October 17, 2014 at 11:37 AM
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Re: Naut...
I didn't quite like that one word in the last line, but it fit the pace and meter. So after I read your comment, Naut, I thought of a more precise one... It does change the tone. Thank you for your astute comment!
posted by
Pat_B
on October 17, 2014 at 10:57 AM
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Pat
An interesting poem, although somehow sad...
posted by
Nautikos
on October 17, 2014 at 10:14 AM
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