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Re: Re: Re: Re:
of course you were a boy Angel...
posted by
Kabu
on April 14, 2014 at 4:01 PM
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Re: Bill
We plod on Bill.
posted by
C_C_T
on April 14, 2014 at 10:50 AM
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Re: A
Hi A that's the trouble, but if we knew what the other was thinking it might be far worse.
posted by
C_C_T
on April 14, 2014 at 10:49 AM
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C.C.T.
They;'re nice work sir. BC-A, Bill's Roost
posted by
BC-A
on April 14, 2014 at 9:58 AM
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the he said she said dialogue is always so different...i remember the movie with kevin bacon
posted by
Annicita
on April 14, 2014 at 6:10 AM
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Re: Re: Re:
Well I'm not Kabu it bloody hurt, I can feel it now. I know what you mean though, I expect she was one of those frustrated spinsters and may have resented someone ele's babies. Not that I was an Angel my Mum later said I was a bit naughty. Oh! shut up.
posted by
C_C_T
on April 13, 2014 at 10:45 PM
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Re: Re:
I am so relieved, but reading on through your comments that carer did actually abuse you.
posted by
Kabu
on April 13, 2014 at 7:09 PM
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The second part of your post was so well done. Very fun reading it.
posted by
TAPS.
on April 13, 2014 at 12:37 PM
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It is not necessarily easy, or fun to be a child, and some have an especially hard time of it figuring out what life is really supposed to be like. Mostly I remember only the good parts, but there were dark times too, times best forgotten.
posted by
TAPS.
on April 13, 2014 at 12:36 PM
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Re: I, too, was a worry-wart, with dark "what-if" questions nagging at me.
Yes thank you Pat . The sad thing is as a child one takes things at face value when a carer said to someone his mother is going to poison this one as she has a new baby. I did not react as I was just two years old, but a few months later I heard my Grandfather telling my father he had poisoned some rats. Something must have clicked in my brain, because I remember not wanting to eat food. I suppose it resolved itself into something I could not bear to think about. I.E. My mother poisoning me. Simple when one knows the kernel that bleeds within, but bloody difficult to get back to find release . Even today I am not happy at eating at a table. Just ghosts I suppose. my mother would have been so sad, she did tell me once that the carer was whipping me and she told my father to get rid of her.
posted by
C_C_T
on April 13, 2014 at 11:50 AM
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Re: JIMMY
I think possibly as one becomes older we do tend to delve into our memory and of course no one is perfect. At this moment I just thought how once I hid in some long grass and jumped out when my sister passed. She was really frightened and I felt a bit ashamed afterwards.
posted by
C_C_T
on April 13, 2014 at 11:33 AM
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Wow, we really are simpatico in more ways than one! I too never thought about what it might actually be like to be an adult when I was young. But now that I am an adult, I am constantly plagued by certain thoughts from my youth, terrible things I said or did that I can never resolve or change. Sometimes I actually have nightmares about them, and find myself thinking "If I knew then what I know now!" I suppose it's 'one of those things' we all must contend with from time to time . . . 
posted by
JimmyA
on April 13, 2014 at 9:49 AM
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I, too, was a worry-wart, with dark "what-if" questions nagging at me.
I've come to believe this is the fire that shapes our minds into creativity and the urge
to examine the subtleties and reasons behind events, the underlying meaning of words
spoken by others. It's such a blessing when you get to the realization that most of
what you feared never came to pass and that in fact, your life's turned out fairly well.
It's clear you have a talent with word and story, strong poetic ability.
posted by
Pat_B
on April 13, 2014 at 5:24 AM
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Re:
Yes Adnohr I know you had a happy childhood it was wonderful to have been cared for by
such loving people. I once said to my Dad 'I wish I had never been born.' 'Why would you wish that' I remember. 'Well I would not have to worry about anything.' 'Don't talk so bloody silly.' he was a bit annoyed . He was proud of his kids.'
posted by
C_C_T
on April 13, 2014 at 12:01 AM
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Re:
Yes you hit a good combination Chuck. I am happy for you.
posted by
C_C_T
on April 12, 2014 at 11:54 PM
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Re: cct
yes JS My parents were kind, but of course they did not know how I felt. I remember distinctly running across a patch of green grass . I was about five and suddenly I stopped and thought, Why have I got this pain in the back of my mind.
Well I suppose you are right, you subconsciously probably expect folk to follow the pattern of your childhood. You express love and expect it to be returned. What might seem obvious to me is not in your psyche. No one is at fault it is just the way we are.
posted by
C_C_T
on April 12, 2014 at 11:53 PM
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Re: FS
Yes it is better to exorcize it FS. Easier said than done. This happened when I was two I would imagine. So it was hard fo me to work out the cause, of course the problem was simple but not to a baby.
posted by
C_C_T
on April 12, 2014 at 11:38 PM
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Re:
I was not abused Kabu I just put 2 and 2 together and believed the wrong formula.
posted by
C_C_T
on April 12, 2014 at 11:33 PM
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Re: Wiley
Yes Wiley At least my parents were loving to the best of their ability.We kids were a quarrelsome lot.
posted by
C_C_T
on April 12, 2014 at 11:30 PM
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Chiff Chaff
(Thanks for your visit in my post too Bro.)
posted by
WileyJohn
on April 12, 2014 at 9:03 PM
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Chiff Chaff
There are times like this writing Bro where we could've lived in the same household I think. Enjoyed the poetry too.
posted by
WileyJohn
on April 12, 2014 at 9:02 PM
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love the he and she and some folks just never seem able to get together. Well better not if it is to be nothing but misunderstandings. I am sorry that something horrible marred your childhood. So many kids have been abused one way or another since forever it seems.
posted by
Kabu
on April 12, 2014 at 6:07 PM
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Yeah, I know what you mean about that black, horrible feeling in the back of one's mind...I enjoyed the dialouge there.
posted by
FormerStudentIntern
on April 12, 2014 at 5:39 PM
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cct
i had a good childhood, i think our childhood forms the adult, and that our childhood does not always prepare us for the things that happen to us as adults. funny that a little earlier today i wondered to myself, do we live the lives we want or do we just make lemonade out of lemons?
the poem made me think, do we never know what the other person is thinking or feeling even when we ask? sometimes i am afraid to ask.
posted by
jeansaw
on April 12, 2014 at 4:40 PM
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My childhood was happy and I still have memories of lots of things. Life was easy and simple. And I am still in contact with most of my childhood friends.
posted by
Chuck_E_Ibrahim
on April 12, 2014 at 2:10 PM
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Yes, experiences as a child do stay with you, whether they were good or bad. I was so fortunate - my childhood, in spite of being a foster, was so happy, and a delight to remember, but I know it was not the same for many others. I hope now that you have taken it out and studied it some that you can acknowledge it for what it is, and blow it away as one would a fuzzy dandelion head. Love the poem...although it is sad that they lacked communication skills.
posted by
adnohr
on April 12, 2014 at 12:24 PM
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