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I hope that like me you like people to tell you their true opinion. There is nothing I dislike more than a mutual admiration society :-) Now, on a side note, I do believe that Adhor and I are soul sisters... I agree with her so often! and I now think she is right... Again loll. What she said occurred to me as I read your lines...Of course its you who wrote this amazing jewel and its just perfect the way it is. Taking out those lines would just make it, in my opinion, believe it or not more spiritual and more transferable... but you are not writing a commercial item just expressing a breath of your soul... so its fabulous either way... Thanks for sharing my friend xoxoxo
posted by
Sinome
on August 10, 2013 at 11:32 AM
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I would love to be there to see it for myself.
posted by
FormerStudentIntern
on August 10, 2013 at 10:03 AM
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Yes you have made it perfect, sometimes I cut sections from a poem to make it more precise. Remember Jay I am not a poet like you are, I used to be but I have grown cynical with age and write only to appease my conscience. 
posted by
C_C_T
on August 10, 2013 at 7:46 AM
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Beautiful. Inner peace can flow via the worlds and picture.
posted by
Dr_JPT
on August 10, 2013 at 7:06 AM
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This poem is spectacular. I think it - and the accompanying picture -
definitely belong in your published collection. I love it. If I may make my own suggestion, let it be just a short and vivid love poem, not a prayer. Please at least consider leaving out lines 11-17: God is in between the lines of what's left, believe me.
posted by
2902
on August 10, 2013 at 5:49 AM
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CCT and adnohr
Try it now CCT, and adnohr, no, I haven't posted this poem before, I don't think, but I write a lot about the mountains, and the red rocks, I posted one titled "THE BREATH OF LOVE" a long time ago, but it is good that you keep up as I sometimes get confused as to what I have and have not posted. I have a collection of over 2000 poems and growing every day and I have posted some without marking them posted, so if I do repost without notice please let me know.
posted by
UtahJay
on August 10, 2013 at 5:21 AM
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Very nice!!
posted by
SomeoneElse
on August 10, 2013 at 4:53 AM
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Have you posted this poem before? It's is very good, but I seem to remember it, and it may just be deja vu...
Nice picture!
posted by
adnohr
on August 10, 2013 at 3:52 AM
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This is great Jay..
posted by
Saif_AlKindi
on August 10, 2013 at 2:50 AM
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Hope you don't mind Jay sixth line down (her and I clash) It is one of those awkward situations( She and I) would be better ,but it still sounds odd, well I think so and would alter it slightly, just my opinion. Easy not to notice when writing poetically. 
posted by
C_C_T
on August 10, 2013 at 12:54 AM
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