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Re: JimmyA
Thanks, Sir Wiley. Yeah, it was a bit of an unusual situation, one I wasn't quite prepared for. But I think I handled it pretty well! Hope you're doing a lot better . . . 
posted by
JimmyA
on July 19, 2013 at 10:59 AM
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JimmyA
Nope, I wouldn't have known what to do either, kind of what you did and hope for the best. A great instructive post pard,
posted by
WileyJohn
on July 19, 2013 at 9:12 AM
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Re:
Thanks, MsJudy. It was one of those scenarios that you just don't come across every day. And not being overly familiar with autism in general made it even more difficult! But luckily, common sense, and a little patience and sensitivity, saved the day . . . !
posted by
JimmyA
on July 19, 2013 at 4:57 AM
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I would have been a bit take back as well..I think you handled it well.
posted by
MsJudy
on July 18, 2013 at 6:03 PM
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Re: Re: Re:
Well, Kabu, patience is supposed to be a virtue! However, I must admit that I have bouts of impatience too, depending on the circumstance ( and the people involved ). I try, I really do, but we all have our own tolerance levels as well as our own breaking points! My wife has helped me considerably over the years with my patience . . .
posted by
JimmyA
on July 18, 2013 at 1:29 PM
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Re: Re:
and the sort of patience that God never blessed me with.
posted by
Kabu
on July 18, 2013 at 9:11 AM
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Re:
Well, adnohr, my wife and I have talked to our neighbor in the past about David, but for one reason or another, she always seemed somewhat reluctant to discuss him. I think it may be out of the general sadness of having to raise a child with such a condition, and our "prying" seemed to make it worse! Perhaps we'll try again some day . . .
posted by
JimmyA
on July 18, 2013 at 8:44 AM
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Re:
That's very true, lion, and it doesn't have to be an autistic child either! There have been numerous times where I was in someone's presence and they came "unglued" for one reason or another, and then their actions became sporadic and unpredictable. A child is one thing . . . a full grown adult is something else altogether! 
posted by
JimmyA
on July 18, 2013 at 8:41 AM
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Re:
Does he too suffer from autism, Utah? Or is it that simple dilemma every child faces when growing up and getting out into the world? Again, I have no children ( or grandchildren obviously ) but I do know what's going on out there today, and how difficult everything is for any child! Stay close. I'm sure his grandparent's influence will go a long way . . .
posted by
JimmyA
on July 18, 2013 at 8:38 AM
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Re:
It is indeed, Sinome! But I believe everything you've written is probably very true and accurate. They are forced to live in their own worlds, worlds we could probably never fully understand. And perhaps you're right. He may have been just somewhat confused and startled, and never really had any intentions of "attacking" me. But I have seen ( and heard ) him scream and cry in the past, and am extremely thankful his mother showed up when she did!
posted by
JimmyA
on July 18, 2013 at 8:36 AM
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Re:
Believe it or not, TAPS, my wife is the exact same way! She takes full advantage of the net, and is always searching and learning about anything and everything she may not fully understand. And she may have already looked into the various degrees of autism. But, as we've all been discussing, there are just so many different degrees of autism that sometimes it would be difficult to make a "blanket assessment" of any one person, and act accordingly. Still, it wouldn't be a bad idea to learn a little more about it . . .
posted by
JimmyA
on July 18, 2013 at 8:32 AM
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Re:
I hoped that wasn't the case, Kabu. I know some people with mental disorders can become violent for one reason or another, and his wide eyes and arm gestures really gave me the impression that he was preparing to attack! Why, I'm not really sure. But, as you've said, no one today fully understands the intricacies of the minds of these people, and sometimes you've just gotta use a little common sense ( and understanding ) when dealing with them . . .
posted by
JimmyA
on July 18, 2013 at 8:28 AM
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Re: I don't know a lot about it
That's probably a good idea, Mia, one my wife and I should probably have already looked into, just in case. And you may be right. He initially wandered into my yard out of curiosity, but may have actually become extremely confused when I spoke to him. Yes, I did make sure not to keep direct eye contact with him, and remained calm until his mother arrived. It was actually somewhat scary, as the "unknown" usually is . . .
posted by
JimmyA
on July 18, 2013 at 8:24 AM
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Re:
Thanks, Dr JPT. For a moment or two, I was the "deer caught in the headlights" while I quickly contemplated my next move. Like I wrote, I didn't want to upset or hurt the child in any way, but I couldn't see myself simply "running away" either. I think it all luckily worked out for the best . . .
posted by
JimmyA
on July 18, 2013 at 8:20 AM
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Re:
I'm really not sure, C C T, how that might work, or be received. Perhaps I should find out from his parents if he does have a favorite treat of some kind that I can offer in the future should such an occurrence happen again. I could carry it in my pocket for a quick assuagement. I don't know of any kid who doesn't like ice cream, but it would be difficult to keep in my pocket . . .
posted by
JimmyA
on July 18, 2013 at 8:17 AM
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Re:
Me too, mariss. Yes, from what I understand, there are different levels of mental illnesses that affect different people in different ways. One of my friend's younger brother has epilepsy, and when some of his "attacks" occur, he becomes unbelievably strong, and extremely difficult to handle physically. I honestly don't know how it may be with an autistic child, but I really wasn't willing to find out! I thought that remaining calm, motionless and silent until his mother showed up was probably the safest thing to do . . .
posted by
JimmyA
on July 18, 2013 at 8:13 AM
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Re:
I would think, FSI, that it would really depend on all of the circumstances. Believe me, if he had lunged towards me in any fashion, I probably would have been in the other side of the lawn in no time flat, whether his mother was nearby or not . . .
posted by
JimmyA
on July 18, 2013 at 8:08 AM
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Re:
But again, Blue Feathers, I would have felt as though I was abandoning the kid! I really didn't want to have to grab ahold of him any more than I wanted to simply run away! However, I didn't want him to attack me either! It was quite a dilemma! Hopefully next time ( if there is a next time ) his mother shows up just a little sooner . . .
posted by
JimmyA
on July 18, 2013 at 8:06 AM
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Re: Jimmy...
I guess I could have done that, Rumor, but like I told Naut, a part of me felt somewhat compelled to at least keep an eye on him until his mother did arrive! But no matter what, I did try to keep my movements slow and simple as to not rile him in any way. I believe it worked . . .
posted by
JimmyA
on July 18, 2013 at 8:02 AM
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Re:
It is a conundrum, lustor. Not having any children nor being around them on any consistent basis has left me a little leery in dealing with the young tykes at all. But someone in his "condition" makes it just a little harder. I'm just glad it worked out the way it did . . . 
posted by
JimmyA
on July 18, 2013 at 7:59 AM
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Re: Jimmy
Yeah, Naut, autism is a bit of a puzzler to many these days, as its numbers and severity increases. But to be honest with you, a part of me felt the need to "stand my ground," so to speak, if for nothing else but to keep an eye on the lad until his mother did show up! I would have felt terrible if I had walked away and then he got hurt somehow while in my yard! Perhaps I'll just keep taking small steps back while still maintaining that eye . . .
posted by
JimmyA
on July 18, 2013 at 7:56 AM
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Yes - TAPS has a good idea. It may help to talk to the Mother too, seeing that you are close neighbors.
posted by
adnohr
on July 18, 2013 at 6:57 AM
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I think it's always frightening when we meet somebody whose moves we cannot predict, whether it's due to a condition or due to chemical abuse, we instinctively become unsettled at our inability to determine how they will react to what we say or do.
posted by
lionreign
on July 18, 2013 at 3:06 AM
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I worry about my grandson, how to calm him, socialize him.
posted by
UtahJay
on July 17, 2013 at 10:42 PM
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I am sorry you had such an unpleasant encounter. Autistic children can be aggressive but more in a tantrum kind of way. They are "scary" only because they are marching to their own internal drum so to speak and most of the times pay no atention to the rest of us. They are very often highly intelligent but they have trouble processing information. Imagine you lived inside a prison sorrounded by a net which filtered all your interactions with the outside world... or that you lived in a pipe under water and had to see everything through the end opening and through the water... hear through it... I bet you would be easily frustrated and a little agressive too :-) Not knowing how profound is Davids autism its hard to predict what he was experiencing, but I doubt that he was planning to atttack you. More likely he was mesmerized by either the sounds you were making or the way you were changing the shape of the tree by cutting the branches. Autistic children are very sensitive both to sounds and to any type of changes in their environment. When you spoke to him and said his name you probably startled him and he was just reacting to that by staring and raising his arms ... he was probably scared. If his mom would not have come and sooth him he probably would have started screaming or crying... and if he had moved it would have been away from you instead of towards you. I agree with Taps in that learning about what that little boy suffers from will help you understand and eliminate that uncomfortable feeling you experienced. Knoledge is power my friend :-) xoxoxo
posted by
Sinome
on July 17, 2013 at 9:39 PM
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I know very little about autism and have had no experience with it at all. But, if I had an autistic person as a next-door neighbor, I'm sure I would be checking out all of the internet sites to learn what I could about it. That is just me. I'm checking things out all of the time because they interest me.
posted by
TAPS.
on July 17, 2013 at 7:32 PM
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they don't want to make eye contact he may not even have registered that you had spoken. It takes years to gain access into that mind, even for a professional working with them regularly.There is most probably synapsis not firing in the brain and it is really terribly difficult to reach someone with this level of Autism.
i would smile, and slowly walk away just incase something had really upset him and he wanted to hit out at what was scary to him.
posted by
Kabu
on July 17, 2013 at 6:11 PM
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I don't know a lot about it
but based on my very limited knowledge, I'm guessing he was probably startled when you talked to him. Direct contact (even just eye contact) is overwhelming and scary to those with advanced autisim. I'd recommend asking the mother if she has any suggestions about what to do if it happens again, and maybe ask if he's prone to aggressive reactions (just in case)...
I miss the spell check!!!
posted by
Mia890
on July 17, 2013 at 2:19 PM
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All have good suggestions. A new directive has come out that many disorders such as ADD, ADHD, Aspergers, and others are getting under the umbrella of Autism for funding. There are are varying degrees. I am learning that many of my family and friends fall inot this spectrum in some degree as in your description: staring, watching, sporadic movements, approaching you, needing to be soothingly led away.
You are fortunate that he was a small child and that the Mom intervened. Sad but true, avoid exciting them and back away and ease away. Some get extra strength and will hurt you as a stuffed animal would come alive and all over you. You did well.
posted by
Dr_JPT
on July 17, 2013 at 12:31 PM
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Well I would have said 'Wait' and gone and got him an ice cream. Try to be friendly he will outgrow you Jimmy. Perhaps you could give him little treats with his mother's permission, but not encourage him onto your territory.
posted by
C_C_T
on July 17, 2013 at 12:18 PM
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Blocking him off with your arms and maybe responding like his mother if you had to handle him would probably be best, by restraining him with a friendly gesture. I work with an autistic aggressive adult female. They can be hard to predict if you don't know them, and sometimes even if you do. Lightening them up can work if they become alarmed over something, not talking much can also be good, some suffer from sensory overload. Glad the mom intervened!
posted by
mariss9
on July 17, 2013 at 11:05 AM
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Like you, I am not familiar with autism and its different forms. It looks like Rumor gave some wise advice.
posted by
FormerStudentIntern
on July 17, 2013 at 9:40 AM
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I like Rumors suggestion, just step away and go indoors. 
posted by
Blue_feathers
on July 17, 2013 at 9:10 AM
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Jimmy...
Try to, in a non threatening way, slowly back up to my house and slip inside the back door, I guess..
..
posted by
Rumor
on July 17, 2013 at 8:44 AM
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I dont know what would of happened if he did attack you,I dont understand them at all
posted by
Lanetay
on July 17, 2013 at 8:36 AM
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Jimmy
Well, I don't know any more about autism than you do, though I do know one thing: Even the professionals are having a hard time understanding it and all its forms...As to your particular situation, especially since it might occur again some day - while under 'normal' circumstances my very strong inclination is to 'stand my ground', (something we've heard of a lot lately, LOL), in this case I'd beat a very hasty retreat...
posted by
Nautikos
on July 17, 2013 at 6:51 AM
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