Comments on Given a choice between solitude and crowds, I think I'll take solitude

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Re:

Well that hardly seems fair, Dr JPT! But I do understand the difference and the mindset of being in an arena or stadium and dealing with that kind of noise as opposed to being in a relatively small room and having to deal with several tiny conversations! The stadium noise I can basically tune out. The room noise? That's a different animal altogether . . .   

posted by JimmyA on June 21, 2013 at 1:45 PM | link to this | reply

I understand exactly how you feel. I get extremely bored in these type setting, yet can go to a crowded stadium, watch a game and fully enjoy myself. I do not like the break out groups. You explained it precisely. It is just too much, too loud and it is just a matter of preference at a given time. No, there is no phobia, just what one prefers. I prefer the same, yet my husband thrives in that type setting.

What I find hilarious is that I can adjust to it when I get involved in a conversation, then my husband wants to go home. As long as I stand alone and not talk to anyone he is fine.

posted by Dr_JPT on June 21, 2013 at 8:37 AM | link to this | reply

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Awful is right, lion. And you know it's really bad when you begin to lose track, and interest, in your own conversation! One on one is so much better . . .

posted by JimmyA on June 21, 2013 at 5:23 AM | link to this | reply

Oh heavens yes, I find that the conversations all blur into each other and just make an awful din

posted by lionreign on June 21, 2013 at 3:37 AM | link to this | reply

Re: Jimmy

I think I can relate, Naut! From the late '70's until the early '90's, I saw almost every hard rock and heavy metal band under the sun in concert, and there's nothing louder than a heavy metal concert! Now my ears too need a rest. I suppose it's similar to riding a horse for hours and hours, miles and miles, until your butt is almost a surrealistic shade of pink! After that a nice recliner will feel like heaven . . .  

posted by JimmyA on June 20, 2013 at 2:01 PM | link to this | reply

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I can't blame you there, lustor, especially when you initially thought the gathering would be a little more simplistic! When four people turns into fourteen people, and then twenty-four people, the noise just gets louder and louder and louder! I think I too would have found another place to eat my dinner where there was a little more peace and quiet . . .  

posted by JimmyA on June 20, 2013 at 1:56 PM | link to this | reply

Re: You're not alone

Good to know, Mia. No, it's not necessarily "old age" as much as it is an appreciation for a little quiet time once in a while. I guess I didn't mind the crowds and loud noises up until the time I was a teenager ( being a heavy-metal fan and going to Black Sabbath and Judas Priest concerts was enjoyable back then ). But now, the wife and I simply love pouring a glass of wine, sitting back with some Bach or Beethoven, and enjoying the peace and serenity! Now it's our ears who appreciate it . . .

posted by JimmyA on June 20, 2013 at 1:53 PM | link to this | reply

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Perfectly understandable, C C T, believe me! And I don't think that imagining the people at these gatherings "in the buff" would work at all for me, primarily because I'm probably related to most of them! I think people get arrested for things like that . . .  

posted by JimmyA on June 20, 2013 at 1:49 PM | link to this | reply

Re:

It's not necessarily privacy, Utah, just a more serene and quieter setting, which is possible with a gathering of three or four people. But the more people that are present, the more conversations are going to arise. And before you know it, your ears are melting! I almost wish the noise would swallow me up at some of these functions! In that mental maw there might actually be some peace . . .

posted by JimmyA on June 20, 2013 at 1:46 PM | link to this | reply

Re: JimmyA

Not quite, Sir Wiley, but I might be gainin' on ya! I suppose there's no such thing as a "quiet" party, so sometimes I just have to suck it up! But, if I have a choice . . .

posted by JimmyA on June 20, 2013 at 1:40 PM | link to this | reply

Re: I most definitely agree well I love our quiet little life so much

That, Kabu, is a loaded question! Yeah, I have a few relatives that I too have difficulty making small talk with. I guess it's one of my little idiosyncrasies. I'm not a very good actor, and find it hard pretending to like someone I really don't care for, whether they're related or not! But at least with a fairly large crowd, it's relatively easy to blend in and melt away, avoiding the person altogether . . .

posted by JimmyA on June 20, 2013 at 1:38 PM | link to this | reply

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I can understand that, Annicita. Why put up with something when you don't have to. But in that particular case, at least a hearing aid can be turned off, unlike the crowd in the room . . .  

posted by JimmyA on June 20, 2013 at 1:21 PM | link to this | reply

Re: Jimmy...

I can see that, Rumor. My dad was the same way. He tolerated the loud gatherings and multiple conversations if it meant being amongst his children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. As for me ( and my wife ) we love the entire family, but the noise, oh the noise . . . !   

posted by JimmyA on June 20, 2013 at 1:19 PM | link to this | reply

Re:

There's always a preference, FSI. There are times when you don't mind being amongst a fairly large crowd, and times when you need some peace and quiet. But I personally can only handle the noise of a large crowd for so long . . .  

posted by JimmyA on June 20, 2013 at 1:16 PM | link to this | reply

Jimmy

I've come to dislike large parties, especially cocktail parties, but even large family gatherings are getting on my nerves these days! One reason is that it's now obvious my hearing is suffering the effects of years of loud rock, and when there's a lot of chatter everything turns into a kind of aural mush...

posted by Nautikos on June 20, 2013 at 11:59 AM | link to this | reply

when my daughter had her bday party I thought it was just going to be the family (4) and maybe a couple more, but I was surprised when they kept coming and thankful that they went up to the patio area away from their home. All of them in the 20 something age bracket so I stayed away and had my dinner in her house, maybe that was rude but I wasnt told it was going to be like that

posted by Lanetay on June 20, 2013 at 9:04 AM | link to this | reply

You're not alone

Like many here, I also have no tolarance for loud crowds or big groups of people. And I've been like this since I was a child, so can't blame it on old age...!  

posted by Mia890 on June 20, 2013 at 8:27 AM | link to this | reply

Yes I think I have that funny name sounding one. I begin to imagine everyone without clothes. Now to  a nudist it would not matter. Not only that I don't like eating with lots of folk, it is a might be a poison syndrome, inflicted by a carer , may she rest in peace. Oh! I don't like loud music .

posted by C_C_T on June 20, 2013 at 1:03 AM | link to this | reply

I know what you mean, sometimes I just sit and listen to all the noise and its like I'm swallowed by it. I like my privacy too.

posted by UtahJay on June 19, 2013 at 9:33 PM | link to this | reply

JimmyA

Crikey mate, you want to be left on your own and no noisy parties???? Now I find we are about the same age

posted by WileyJohn on June 19, 2013 at 8:17 PM | link to this | reply

I most definitely agree well I love our quiet little life so much

i really don't need crowds and I lack small talk ability which makes it even harder. What do you say to someone you are related to but don't mind never seeing again???

posted by Kabu on June 19, 2013 at 5:38 PM | link to this | reply

that's one of the reasons my refuses to get a hearing aid!

posted by Annicita on June 19, 2013 at 3:17 PM | link to this | reply

Jimmy...

I'll take solitude over the noise of a crowd any day (and Liz is in agreement)...we'll do the same thing - try to escape the noise by going for a walk...Mothers Day was the last time I really noticed this, although my MIL enjoyed having the entire family around (the noise was worth it for her sake)....

posted by Rumor on June 19, 2013 at 11:56 AM | link to this | reply

I am a people watcher, therefore, for me, the more the merrier...Whenever I tried to do schoolwork though with lots of people noise in the room, I did find myself prefering solitude.

posted by FormerStudentIntern on June 19, 2013 at 9:23 AM | link to this | reply