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Thank you, FS.
I meant for it to be a romantic poem. I like trying to express how it feels to love someone. If you do not know how to write free verse, as I do not, then the Sonnet seems the next best form for me to use.
posted by
PoeticPoetry
on October 15, 2012 at 3:30 PM
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Re: making the words 'flow' as you say, perhaps the most difficult thing to
do with a sonnet, (Shakespearean or otherwise).
About 6 months ago, I met someone on the writing.com site who was willing to work with me. I think I finally "got it", as they say and realized that ten beats to the line is NOT iambic pentameter. As soon as he taught me to "see the light" and understand the meter/rhythm of the line, I was off and running. Difficult to shut me up now. 
posted by
PoeticPoetry
on October 15, 2012 at 3:19 PM
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making the words 'flow' as you say, perhaps the most difficult thing to
posted by
PoeticPoetry
on October 15, 2012 at 3:13 PM
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What a romantic poem I find this to be.
posted by
FormerStudentIntern
on October 15, 2012 at 10:13 AM
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PP
I think this is very good and, in complete agreement with CCT, that it's also sweet, though by no means cloyingly so. The Bard would be proud of you...
Oh, and I think the sonnet form began in Italy with Dante and Petrarch, but I may be wrong; neither am a certain why they chose the structure it has had ever since. But you might know...
posted by
Nautikos
on October 15, 2012 at 7:42 AM
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Well reluctant as I am to give praise I feel this is rather sweet, as you know it is kind of nice when the lines flow and do not appear stilted. I just wonder why a sonnent finishes with two lines, let me guess the guy who invented it could not think of going further. If this is recent you show great promise.
posted by
C_C_T
on October 15, 2012 at 7:33 AM
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lovely poetic
posted by
Annicita
on October 15, 2012 at 7:03 AM
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I am sure you can 
I really admire your writings and insistence of doing it right. Great job.
posted by
Chuck_E_Ibrahim
on October 15, 2012 at 6:40 AM
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