Go to From The Observation Deck
- Add a comment
- Go to Saying goodbye to an uncle . . . the aftermath
Re:
It doesn't make sense, does it, luster? Like I wrote, if you're in a position where you have to communicate with other people, the least you could do is be understood by those you need to talk to. I don't think that's asking too much, and I don't think that's racism either. Something needs to change soon . . . 
posted by
JimmyA
on September 28, 2012 at 4:57 AM
| link to this | reply
I hate it when you are talking to them they keep saying I am so sorry to hear that, now is this the reason for you phone call, and repeat the same thing over and over again. But this time it was one of them calling me
posted by
Lanetay
on September 27, 2012 at 4:08 PM
| link to this | reply
Re:
Absolutely, lion. I'm sure this man was a devoted man of God, was faithful and caring, and was sincere in his message. Again, it was nothing personal against him at all. But when you can't understand a word he was saying, someone's got to draw the line somewhere! 
posted by
JimmyA
on September 26, 2012 at 9:41 AM
| link to this | reply
Well I don't think is racist to wish for somebody who spoke better English, I'm sure if the guy had spoken perfectly you would have had no problem with him but as his job was to orate to English speaking people then he was lacking.
posted by
lionreign
on September 26, 2012 at 7:58 AM
| link to this | reply
Re:
I have to assume it went something like that, adnohr. Hind-sight is always 20/20, and I have a feeling that, if my aunt knew ahead of time what we might be up against, she may have been able to request a specific priest. I can only imagine what this particular congregation goes through each week when this priest is delivering a Sunday service. I hate to sound cynical but, this may be one of the reasons that church attendance is so down across the country! No one can understand the sermons anymore! It really is a shame! 
posted by
JimmyA
on September 26, 2012 at 5:25 AM
| link to this | reply
Re: Wow, what a shame! No, it's not asking too much to be able to understand
I understand completely, Katray. When my friend's family doctor retired, he was replaced by an Indian doctor, and he had nothing but trouble with him, probably for the same reasons you did. I just don't understand sometimes. I have nothing against these people personally, and I know they're just trying to make a living like the rest of us. But when "communicating" is a big part of your profession, it really isn't asking too much to be understood! Thanks for weighing in. 
posted by
JimmyA
on September 26, 2012 at 5:20 AM
| link to this | reply
Like you say, maybe your aunt never even considered it, probably still numb from finding herself now alone, or just did not know which priest would be doing the sermon.
posted by
adnohr
on September 25, 2012 at 4:39 PM
| link to this | reply
Wow, what a shame! No, it's not asking too much to be able to understand
what a person, especially one front and center of an audience is saying. I'm sorry that happened to you and your family. Nor is it racist or isolationist to need communication in a language known. Those who say it is should go to a doctor whose questions, diagnosis, treatment advised they cannot make heads or tails of - my experience...and great frustration! His nurses could barely understand him and though he was touted as being a brilliant doctor, I had to give up on him.
posted by
Katray2
on September 25, 2012 at 4:36 PM
| link to this | reply
Re:
Thanks, Utah. As I made sure to point out, we had nothing personal against this priest, and there were no prejudices involved whatsoever. But when you're in a position where your speaking voice is paramount to the situation at hand, being understood should trump everything else. I just don't understand why, before hand, no one thought to consider that! 
posted by
JimmyA
on September 25, 2012 at 7:36 AM
| link to this | reply
Re: that is awful and should never have been. You are right of course,
Thanks, Kabu. And you're right as well. Since we couldn't understand a word this man was saying, all we could do was try to remember our uncle in our own way during this awful service, and then spend time with my grieving aunt and cousins afterward, putting the actual ceremony behind us. I had a strong feeling that many out there would be able to empathize with this particular plight of dealing with poor English-speaking people! 
posted by
JimmyA
on September 25, 2012 at 7:33 AM
| link to this | reply
Re: JimmyA
Well, Wiley, as I pointed out to Annicita, I can only assume that this was my aunt and uncle's church, and my aunt was more or less in charge of arranging this service. Quite possibly, worrying about using a particular priest may have been the furthest thing from her mind, considering the circumstances. All I know is, if I had my way . . . ! Thanks for the condolences. 
posted by
JimmyA
on September 25, 2012 at 7:29 AM
| link to this | reply
This was wrong and hurtful to many, but you did the right thing.
posted by
UtahJay
on September 24, 2012 at 11:39 PM
| link to this | reply
that is awful and should never have been. You are right of course,
all you could do was sit there and have your own private memorial in your heart.
I have been very short tempered, arrogant even with people who ring on the phone and can't speak English. but then I don't ring them up on a business call and expect them to understand me. I am sorry for all the family that this happened.
posted by
Kabu
on September 24, 2012 at 2:50 PM
| link to this | reply
JimmyA
I sympathize with you JimmyA and be sure I'd go and talk to a Bishop of the parish or whomever is the superior of that man. 
posted by
WileyJohn
on September 24, 2012 at 2:34 PM
| link to this | reply
Re:
I've never heard of that as a law, Sam, but it's nice to know it exists! I think it really would have made a huge difference to the overall service! I myself have never had the (dis)pleasure of planning a funeral service for anyone, but if I'm ever in that position, I now know what to do, and what not to do!
posted by
JimmyA
on September 24, 2012 at 2:01 PM
| link to this | reply
Re:
I'm sure that's true, Annicita, but unfortunately in this case it was under my aunt's control, and I suppose she wasn't even considering the priest who may be involved. It's usually after the fact when we think of what we probably should have done!
posted by
JimmyA
on September 24, 2012 at 1:56 PM
| link to this | reply
Re: Brought me my own memories of loved ones dying
I can only hope, Straight, that the bulk of those memories were good. It's never easy saying goodbye to anyone, under any circumstance!
posted by
JimmyA
on September 24, 2012 at 1:52 PM
| link to this | reply
Re:
Yeah, TAPS, I guess that could be considered "bad timing." Almost any other event, you may not have thought much of it. But during that type of service, a clear, understandable voice would have been very much appreciated!
posted by
JimmyA
on September 24, 2012 at 1:50 PM
| link to this | reply
Re:
That's so true, FSI. Again, I had nothing personal against this man. He was a legitimate priest, and I'm sure his message was genuine and heart-felt. I just wished I could understand him!
posted by
JimmyA
on September 24, 2012 at 1:48 PM
| link to this | reply
Re: I'm going to have to tell you a story...
Okay, Ciel, I'll have to check it out . . .
posted by
JimmyA
on September 24, 2012 at 1:46 PM
| link to this | reply
I think it would have been appropriate to ask for a priest that one could understand! And, if you get someone from another country that you cannot understand you can request a person from the United States! They will try to deter you, but it's the law, they must comply! sam 
posted by
sam444
on September 24, 2012 at 1:29 PM
| link to this | reply
you can always request a specific priest etc....what you could do is hold a private memorial service in your or somebody elses home to say bye the way you would like....it doesnt have to be in a church
posted by
Annicita
on September 24, 2012 at 12:10 PM
| link to this | reply
Brought me my own memories of loved ones dying
posted by
Straightforward
on September 24, 2012 at 11:53 AM
| link to this | reply
That's a shame that all of you had that aggravation at a time when you needed comforting, good memories, and understanding.
posted by
TAPS.
on September 24, 2012 at 11:03 AM
| link to this | reply
I do not feel that you are asking too much. It is after all important to be able to understand someone during a funeral service and for that matter a lot of other events.
posted by
FormerStudentIntern
on September 24, 2012 at 9:47 AM
| link to this | reply
I'm going to have to tell you a story...
but it's longish so I will do in over in my Ciel Show blog.
posted by
Ciel
on September 24, 2012 at 9:19 AM
| link to this | reply