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What a beautiful message to deliver 
Love the introductory too.
posted by
Chuck_E_Ibrahim
on September 20, 2012 at 1:40 PM
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Oh Jay, so unfair...you deserved much more, you had already suffered a
life time of pain and at nineteen it should all have been opening up for the fairy tale Happily ever after. My heart is heavy for that poor boy back then.
posted by
Kabu
on September 20, 2012 at 1:32 PM
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With my timing I read your previous poem and then this poem right away. Doing so took this reader on an emotional roller coaster. You do a fine job in conveying emotions in both.
posted by
FormerStudentIntern
on September 20, 2012 at 9:48 AM
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Love to read your stuff...
Picky, I know, but my heart wants to correct your spelling and that gets in the way of my read. I love to read you; just don't like the jarring spelling that breaks my concentration.
posted by
PoeticPoetry
on September 20, 2012 at 9:41 AM
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too many toos in your intro....forgot that before
posted by
Annicita
on September 20, 2012 at 7:15 AM
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I take it the dream collapsed Jay . More sadness
posted by
C_C_T
on September 20, 2012 at 7:11 AM
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The old snake can go from here and slither elsewhere. Amen. 
posted by
mariss9
on September 20, 2012 at 6:54 AM
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ok 2 edits....lonely not lonly and efficacious is a great word but it breaks the cadence of your poem...
Wonderful job utah 
posted by
Annicita
on September 20, 2012 at 6:26 AM
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