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And yet he scared her/With his eyes/Cold and unfeeling/And yet somehow welcoming....
mAnd then you mention the scent of his skin. Could he threaten her fantasy in women’s magazines, websites, and billboards? But she seems to want him. Undoubtedly you put yourself in the woman’s place empathetically. Yet you identifying with the man show through the lines. It’s as if you’re rooting for her guy. It could have been you in your single days. Excellent. BC-A, Bill’s R®st
posted by
BC-A
on September 8, 2012 at 7:37 PM
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He'll be back for sure my friend well said.....
posted by
WileyJohn
on September 8, 2012 at 4:37 PM
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You capture the pain she feels so well in this poem.
posted by
FormerStudentIntern
on September 8, 2012 at 12:44 PM
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Lovely use of the two-past design.- sex doesn't always have much
good thought behind it, but it is fascinating to watch it work itself out. What's clear later on wasn't clear before.
posted by
2902
on September 8, 2012 at 11:51 AM
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I was thinking of Jericho, or a fortress...
come to think of it, so were you...
posted by
Pat_B
on September 8, 2012 at 11:02 AM
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Good poetry Jay but I don't know if it is a bit near the knuckle for this site. By the way I asked Arthur about leaves he was a research scientist. He said that some trees have chemicals in the leaves to stop other growth from growing beneath them and taking nourishment. Your writing power is improving steadily and a certain coarseness is prominent in most of the old poets as you well know.
posted by
C_C_T
on September 8, 2012 at 10:53 AM
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